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  1. #71
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    Interesting. Reporting; had not so bad day on Market, Not crazy good but good enough for me. Hey D, we are just antisocial. I am giving you the words so you know that you are not alone. I am getting so enough of my family, they irritate me, the young not so young anymore peeps. eh the abyss, is growing the abyss between my generation and theirs. Or maybe some kind of dementia is attacking me
    ''If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

  2. #72
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    Just another day at the office hey. I'm not really into anti anything but yea ... I hear ya. Socialization is a big part of my alternative medicine. I just go about it differently compared to most folks is all.

    All that social compliance to be 'young' results in that abyss of which you speak. It effects everyone no matter the timeline. So addicted we have become to our mod cons - since the post and pre-industrial age - that whilst cultural gaps shorten, there's an ever present irony to be found in the isolation of so many. The cost is immense ... our most basic human instinct. In this regard Einstein hit the nail on the head regarding our inability to keep up with tech. The smaller these cultural gaps becomes; the greater that void.




    Clearly relgion & state only feeds the problem so no good going down that route. Those elements in our society are deceptively pious. Mass control for pacified sheep. Actually 'sheep' is being too kind as at least they know they are being herded.
    __________________________________________________ __

    Not to worry D ... I know this is nothing new to you. It is good to talk about it though. Acknowledge the truth no matter the discomfort. Only then can a sense of comfort come from having opened our eyes.

    Arrrrrrrrrrrrrr ... hmmmm ... so this is what it's all about. : ) It really does not hurt as much when other react and hurt us as they do. It's just part and part of the journey within a universe that's so much more than this puny deluded uncivilized world.

    Now where talking! It really is a journey about rediscovery. All the history we have been taught and still being pumped through 'the' so called educational institutions - play well into that deceptively woven pious ego. The reason I can say 'the'so called ... is because I have mindfully disconnected from saying 'our' I am not anti ... but I no longer identify as part of the systems and ideals people are expected to identify with. That way I don't feel at a loss because I am not employed, own whatever or am seen as attached to of some cultural demographic. BUT - I do still yearn to mix with other humans. I'm just a lot more careful with whom I mix. Of course I don't want to discriminate because that's just yet another trap.

    It's a double bind on so many levels - but that's OK. Transparency I think is the key. How to do whilst remaining humble ... fucked if I know. Alas - I acknowledge those terms. : ) I am a walking self filtering alienating being. hehehe ...

    Everything we do, see and say is a reflection of our own creation ... yet the influence or gravity of others can effect us as well. Yet another double bind. How to break out of these conflicts???? Perhaps through the art of observation as related to both quantum mechanics and spiritualists with the humility to accept we need not know.

    Hope this finds you well D - I searched for some good vibes just for you:

    Grab some headphones and maybe try some of this:


    As long as the forum is still running and I am not booted from it ... I will always be here doing my thing. Don't ask me what that is.

    This sound therapy is actually quite on the money for me tonight. Not sure about the term happiness in the title. None the less it does seem to be good medicine. Half the trouble is being open to receive hey. I tried to make sure I found quality sound. Hits the mark on that. I like the Pinging/slight melody over the top of the underlying frequency. The lower vibes are just right for me and the xylophone melody helps to carry my through the abyss that you described. Much better traveling though it that way hey. : ) ... We deserve this D ...

    Thinking of you, Sal and any of the other lurkers reading on. We all deserve a break.

    Night folks ... Yawn ... man these vibes are working well ... helps to have good headphone ... (I'm favouriting this one!)

    Night ... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  3. #73
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    The forum seems to be loading up better at the moment D. Could you please confirm later (if you happen to pop not long after me) if the forum is still loading up painfully slow your end? No big deal. Would you agree that the forum has a history of very slow loading times? I note that there once was a time for me that loading up Facebook resulted in conflicts where AF would not load at all. I would have to reset my cookies and even then it was still iffy. I might load Facebook up a bit later and do a load test with the forum once more. It's not like we can do anything as we don't own or run the forum ... I am just curious is all.

    Ahyhoooowwwws ... I'm of for my morning walk. Hope this finds you well.
    Last edited by Ponder; 06-11-2018 at 02:53 PM.

  4. #74
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    yes is loading much better for me I do agree that is slow, and it is for about two years already
    ''If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

  5. #75
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    Hey Dahila and Ponder.

    Just taking things day-by-day I guess. Sometimes I wonder If I'll crack under the pressure. Just keep going I guess.

    Just want to say.. sometimes it opens up eyes reading everything you write that you go through. I'm also trying my hardest to get up everyday with a routine. Over the last few weeks, I caved in a spent all day in bed and it was even harder to get back on track and recover.

    I do read and think about you as well, just don't post. Agree.. would be nice to catch a break.

    Take care and please don't think I'm ignoring you both by any means.

  6. #76
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    Thanks D - At least now I know it's just not me.

    HEY SAL ... srry to hear about the slippage. It's hard to keep things running on target. I know it may seem pointless at times, but if only to just respond - it still counts as reaching out and your doing so, helps me just as much. Thanks for touching base.

    I'm just chilling at the local library using their computers and internet for free. I've lived in quite a few towns and think myself to be lucky that this current place I'm living has free access to computers and the web. Pretty awesome actually. You can even download to USB and access my content on the web. Kudos for that.

    Previous to popping in here, I just finished a yearly BBQ get together at the park with one of those mental health places I go to. I'm trying to get around more on my own two feet without using the car. Thankfully I have a friend that also likes to get out of the house and frequent the same places as me. I met him at one of the groups I go to.

    Take care my friend. Not to dismiss your own challenges - I really had to crawl out of bed this morning myself. I hear man, I really do. I am glad I did roll out of bed but even more glad you managed to touch base today. I'll call that the highlight of my day.

    OK ... Off to research more about the PC Game Total War: Rome 2


  7. #77
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    Thanks for that. Yeah have to get up every day and go through the motions.

    Haven't been to a BBQ in a very long time (ages it seems).

    Someday I hope to enjoy some of the new games once I get equipment that is capable of handling them. This should crack you guys up a bit

    Windows XP (Version 2002 SP3)

    Intel Pentium (r)D CPU 3.40GHz - 3.339 Ghz - 2.99 GB RAM

    LOLOL

    Oh well, its paid for, and the only thing I even own at all! Travel lite I do say!!

    Anyways.. hope all is well and take good care.
    Last edited by salvator here; 06-13-2018 at 09:54 AM.

  8. #78
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    I'm doing ok man ... thx for asking:

    Totally get where your coming from. Really appreciate you sharing that because you doing that is helping me not to take things for granted. I'd like to return the favor by sharing how I learn to settle with what I have during those times I find myself being deluded ... giving in to all that want. It sucks living life like that but something we as consumers are encouraged to live like. Not saying that people with the means should not want ... just saying I really feel from where your coming from.

    Nothing wrong with playing classics man. I remember that system specs being my all time want! Depending on your Graphics Specs you could push Unreal Tournament 2004 to 'Ultra' settings - or near enough.

    2.99GB ram is an unusual spec - not quite sure if your talking about system Ram and Shared Video Memory. @ any rate ... it really is about knowing what you have and then seeking out the classics that your able to run. You could even make it a hobby or mission to find the best classic games you enjoy to max out your current system. I have a friend with similar specs who pretty much does just that. He was fortunate to have a PCI-E slot on his motherboard that would take an external graphics card.

    Are you talking about a laptop or Desktop? If desktop ... undo the little screws holding that case ... take a photo and or the Motherboard details (both) and let me know if you don't already know and or interested in finding a cheap gaming card on eBay that is compatible to your PC.

    I've been also researching for yet another friend. We were looking at something like this:
    Full system cheap as (link may not be available later)

    ... and just adding a dedicated low profile graphics card ... However I would recommend another machine as I am sure the Power supply is not up to spec and also overheating issues would arise. But it's the general idea that I am trying to sell ... not that actual system.

    For you ... you already have a system ... you could add more system ram and perhaps update the graphics card as I have said. If desktop ... no worries.
    _____________________________________________

    In fact I think it's time I took out my camera again and started having fun with it ... same kind of thing ... outdated but seriously man ... is all about using what we got.

    Let me know what you think. ... In the mean time

    ... are there any kind of games that you play already? Perhaps a cheap console? That said ... I'm betting there are a few older strategy games that would run on your PC as is. Pixel Snobs miss out on so much and rarely appreciate true game mechanics.

    Goto run man ... back later ...

    Take Care ... Please go keep popping in. I need the motivation as well.
    Thx

  9. #79
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    It's crazy how much we actually do take for granted. It really does lead to complacent attitudes where we don't even look after the stuff we wished so badly to get that when we finally got it, we're already harping on about the version yet to be released. In regards to PC games that's exactly why I gave up playing COD. (Call of Duty) It was an awesome game and still is (I flogged the shit out of that game) but when COD2 came out it was like before the time I got up out of my chair to wipe my ass, they had already released COD3. Battlefield went down that same path as that with BF2 being the ultimate in it's genre having BF3 come out and then before those gamers could get up to wipe theirs asses; BF4 hits the scene. Yea Yea - D3 is kind of old in the tooth and a good example of a sequel in much need, but for the most part - updating with a few expansions, DLCs and Mods would be good enough.

    Anyways ... don't mind me. I am just unwinding before I get back into Rome 2 to make a few moves.

    In the mean time ... I did grab my outdated camera (which Is barely 12 months old [see what I mean!]) Many Photography enthusiasts get caught up in the whole pixel debate like gamers with endless amounts of cash. I say fuck all that shit. I do have plans on the horizon to acquire some more 'stuff' but I do wish to remain realistic about such things. It's more about keeping up the desire - keeping motivated with what I already have.

    I actaully got rid of a LOT of higher end camera gear ... then bought some more ... then got rid of it and so on. D has seen me go through those episodes. Hey D? Is all good. D knows or I will presume If I may ... that I for the most part am savvy with buying and selling. I typically get most of my money back and consider the loss more like rental costs to keep up my pursuits ... which also keeps up my knowledge in those hobbies that are in fact good for my well being.

    Here is two photos worth showing I took early this morning. It's probably where my little compact camera shines. Taking photos in low light - (that is all things considered within the compact camera range)




    Now whilst I have already focused on the 'betterment/improvement/polish' of what I and others may or may not expect from whatever camera - in doing so I have detracted from the subject of this photo. How often do we do this with our lives? Think about that for one moment and let that sink in. Grrrrrrrr - Having to constantly prove ourselves in order to obtain the things we take for granted and or told we need. More often than not ... this is how I end up clinging to my lables.

    Back to the photo. So yea there is a lot of noise in the darker areas but ... really ... the reality is that whilst most people say their phones are good enough - the latest Samsung Galaxy Note 8 or nor any other at this point take a hand held 'snap shot' and efficiently retain as much information as displayed in above pic. The point is that because I know that from personal experience and don't require a 2 or 3 thousand $$$ camera to boast of what more I could do:

    This photo without any of the associated drama and focus on woohoo - is good enough to add a title and make a point.

    The Little Fella Having His Morning Dose! refer to above picture.
    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ______________
    ______
    _



    Let me share another without said drama - but keep you entertained:

    Whatcha doing Poppa!


    OK ... back to the pixel masturbation. I post edited that one like I did the other, but cleaned it up a little more. It's definitely my low light camera that one. In general I have been settling with my smart phone. Whilst imo it's not as good for low light snap shots as under the same conditions above ... I've given it a go under 'more illuminated' conditions hand held under a canopy of trees ... here is one of those results.



    Here's the thing ... actually coffee time. I'm going to be kind to myself. lol number two for the day. BRB

  10. #80
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    Arrrr forget it ... Bla Bla Bla

    Me - The Deluded Self Professed Guru.


    On the phone talking with a peer/friend - asking after me, whilst using the phone to remotely take this selfie.

    Keep posting Sal! I'm reading you too. Don't forget those questions I asked you ... in your own time of course ... I'll just keep belting away at the keyboard and no doubt whilst inspired once more with my camera will no doubt go on a photo bonanza sharing as I do. Time to start using what I got ... once more ... and no doubt a few more times as the cycles come.

 

 

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