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Thread: My Head Space

  1. #1
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    My Head Space

    Time for a new thread. : )

    Where was I? Oh yea:

    Mental Health, Doctors & Being Easily Led. Being easily influenced. It's a recipe for major miss diagnosis and adds to existing low self esteem. I say existing low self esteem because it is one of the many elements within mental illness that lead so many of sufferers (like myself) to being easily led. Yet it's not that simple.

    Other elements include a well meaning desire to help, miss information, fatigue, combined with one's low self esteem. Contrary to the welfare mentality I will also mention an entitlement mentality that comes more from the doctors point of view whom feels pressured to push mental health patients into boxes that many of them don't fit. It's part of the filtering process that is required to rule out what works and what does not.

    There is no good or bad here. My aim in writing this is to depersonalize a current situation I am going through myself. The world is a stage and we all play our part. We best not lose sight of the roles we choose. Smiles at that random thought.
    ________________

    So I have been requested/influenced to see psychiatrist after applying for my routine yearly mental health plan. (Note* Already on a Disability Pension for Mental Instability [must make side not of that as already been assessed])

    Let's not lose context here ... instead lets counter this entitlement mentality that forces doctors to pressure as they do.


    Notes I intent to use on the doctor with a support worker present.
    TY for your concern, I already am on a Disability Pension and not currently under review. My current involvement with government funded psycho socialization communities, a personal helpers and mentor program and the last several years of psychotherapy have been going well. I also currently undergoing assessment with appropriate professionals at this current time. Re my psychologist, and I beleive an additional clinical psychologist who specializes in Adult ASD. Your concerns regarding Bi-polar has already been assessed via a psychiatrist at bla bla hospital ... and yadda yadda and more yadda yadda

    OK - lets break away from the above train of thought. let's consider the pressure of having to go through this kind of resistance when applying for yearly government funding to see mental health professional for those of us who've already been deemed unfit. ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    How important is your mental health? If you don't agree with the doctor then why should we just go along with them? To do so would be risking ... becoming a full time victim. This is how I see most people coming and going to the GPs. So many vulnerable people giving up their power where they are then easily led.

    It's not the doctors fault ... it's just the way our society is. It starts as depicted in the follow pic. One I took the same day I embedded in my other thread ... whilst out walking: No wonder people don't like going outside when being confronted with scene like this. Of course not an issue for those you subscribe/conditioned into Us & Them. Here is were winners and losers begin.



    Smells like the Us & Them mentality through and through. Not strength based at all. Context in fence design and Stamp on the fence.



    This is part and parcel of the control factors that we must endure - live with. The mentor friend that came to where I liver the other days seemed to enjoy discussing about what he saw in this pic. The spikes on the fence that resemble more a prison, consequences stamped on the fence for all to see with said institution claiming ownership and property of individuals and their respective futures. This context becomes very apparent with each consecutive year as one is ushered/conditioned from Block A all the way to Block Z. You eventually learn its not about one's best interest but more about it's rulers and their authority.

    It is here that we are all precondition to think, feel and speak the way we do ... in accordance to a set Principe. Failure to do so will result in prosecution. Sadly people fall for the illusion, for the false unity. They think they are protected under the flag - the so called community. Yet Us and Them rings loud from the fence. It's [deceptive] authoritative posturing like like this that have made us loose sight of what a real community is. Its fear driven is what it is. Instead with have government agencies ... not communities. This depicts more the beginnings of how we are led to think ... influenced to beleive. Just like sheep ... we become are easily led.
    ______________________________________________

    I could of yelled and screamed - I felt like it for sure. Instead I remained silent, left my objection until I got home ... then contacted the psychologist, the mentor and thought it through. I then wrote up this thread. I will go back to the doctor and say 'No Thank you, I don't need to see a psychiatrist and politely explain the above in red.'

    Don't be easily led. Know you labels, ware them well, utilize what is in the system and use it against itself. Know what the system is. It only works when you take responsibility for yourself. Don't let them own you. Remain silent in this deceptive world ... and you always be dictated to in a form as depicted above. A spiky fence that resembles more a prison where said institution claims your soul and future. Take it back ... Unlearn ... Own Yourself. Just let them think they own you and jump through the hoops ... above all ... don't let them screw you.

    Adios ... until next post.
    Editing finished .. OCD on that.
    Last edited by Ponder; 01-24-2018 at 04:01 PM.

  2. #2
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    Seen this one D?



    I thought it was interesting.

  3. #3
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    No I have not but will mark it to watch it, thank you
    ''“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

  4. #4
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    Not only with Herbs and Oils ... but you have taught me a few things on the topic of dreams. More so the use of Symbols. I am thankful for that as my religious background really made it hard for me to see past the use of symbols. I now accept and understand their power and the way in which they are commonly used. Marketing campaigns and your everyday perception management by society in generally is something I have always understood. In fact I am very sensitive to the subtle ploys used in every day manipulation/influencing techniques commonly used. However I can see that the use of symbols from a spiritual perspective (not religious) is more about how we operate at the primal level. The latter understanding helps me to filter through but more so → dispel - the 'evil' the 'fear' the deception, the conspiracy thinking, and over all negative mind sets associated with modern day and main stream use of symbols.

    Does the above make any sense to you. I understand if not. : ) - Those of us considered mentally defective are quickly and additional labeled when it comes to our keen prescription on how symbols. I guess since waking up form all the influencing in society and especially since breaking away from main steam religions - You help as well as others regarding symbols has helped me adopt a new way of seeing.

    I just leave it at that as I wishing to be more thankful for you help in this regard. Your opening up with personal experience re spiritual experiences, cards, readings, dreaming and your take on religion and the way symbols are used have played a huge role in the way I have opened up to such things. Of course we can still see differently but over all I am now feeling less threatened when I open myself up to the unknown. I do so a lot more creatively now and when I do struggle in my dreams - literally - I am OK with that now. In fact I kind of welcome the lucidity and experiences that take place ... even the confronting ones. Especially the confronting ones.

    Just saying ... Thanks for you help in the area of symbols.

    Hope this finds you well.
    Last edited by Ponder; 01-25-2018 at 02:05 PM.

  5. #5
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    oh often I am not sure where I am , still in the dream or in reality. You absolutely right I always look for signs and symbols, they are all around us, we just have to lose all that bs we were fed with all our lifes.
    I am an atheist you could say, but it is not exactly who I am. I hate labeling people like you do, we are much more that labels we have pinned to us.
    In my opinion people with heightened anxiety see more, they pick up the info others do not. The problem is when we focus on us.
    Finally I put my focus on today, and what is happening right now, so my Blood pressure went down to normal. It is so bad that I react this way to a little bit of stress.
    It is not mental it is physical and mental.
    I had a dream about my mom, it is a warning one, it always is. Two or three weeks ago , yep the weeks were bad, I hope this is what the dream was about, Yesterday I could not control my car on icy road (it does not happen to me very often) and we had the freezing rain, I lost control over the car but in seconds remember what I should do. Our brain is incredible. Another 5 inches I would be in the ditch it left me shaky which added to my physical misery
    I do not agree with being defective, I think most of people here are strong and extra sensitive, It is really nice to read the post
    ''“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

  6. #6
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    So glad your OK!

    Yea I have my support person coming back with me to see the doc to set her straight re her recommendation for me to see a psychiatrist. I don't doctor hop to run from them any more. I use the system against them. I will set her straight as previously mentioned. I will be sure to do so in a polite way. It's more about not being easily led and reminding them that the're supposed to help, not exercise some form of power and control. Psychiatrists are even worse when it comes to things like that in the lower socioeconomic bracket. Power trippers ... is what it is ... Some don't even know they do it, others do. I sometime ponder which abuse it worst, the child abuse or societal abuse.

    I hope things with the family are ok?

    Yea ... I hear ya about the sensitive ones having unique perspectives that are often dismissed.
    _______________________________________________




    Been playing lot of pc games but with my family. Lisa ... my wife is now playing as well. We are doing campaigns from a game that's like 20 years old! Command and Conquer Tiberian Sun: We all thought after hearing the sounds how uncanny it was to feel as though it was only yesterday! We were like OH YEA ... that was THAT game alright!




    .... and been playing this one with my eldest daughter:
    Same effect with the sounds on this one. This game was WAY WAY ahead of its time. I was still building 486 computers when I marveled at the graphics and game mechanics of the first Age of Empires let alone this one. It still has a lot of followers on YouTube. We play this one on steam.


    Lastly here I am as a mere peasant starting a new life in LIFE IS FUEDAL. My son is helping to set me up: Not exactly a vegan outfit.


    So you see ... these pc games can actually help to keep families together. We use Skype and Discord to communicate as we work together through life's challenges. lol

    __________________________________________________ _____________________


    D if you made it this far ... excuse the PC Gaming

    I found this very interesting doco on Netflix ... I wonder if you have seen it:


    I'm not into Yoga as it's practiced and perceived in the west - same goes for Buddhism ... however I am into the spiritual concepts very much. This doco had some really great insights and I highly recommend. I know you have good filters for this kind of thing and am sure you would enjoy it more than not. The physical aspect is not so much about the lycra although there is one part in there that I thought was a little dogmatic ... Yogo school in the west. But that's just my view ... for the most part though ... and you know my skepticism and radar with the use of words like G-O-D ... other than that ... it really inspired me to start looking back inwardly ... especially with meditation big time.

    Just thought it was worth a mention.

    Take Care ... folks!
    Last edited by Ponder; 01-26-2018 at 03:45 PM.

  7. #7
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    Ponders how the system requires one to stay mentally defective in order to continue to assist. Thinking about letting go of Psychotherapy. For all it's good I think it leads to side effects. More so due to requirements for assisted funding. The process in which people are being read.

    I've been having psychotherapy full on for over 7 years now. My problem is the recent issue with being misread (as usual / no ones fault as is systemic) by GP and now my therapist stating she is not paid to read my emails; all coming about during a lengthy period planing for a diagnosis of adult asd. I was of the thinking as I have come to understand the whole asd thing that we might of been onto something. Kind of makes a lot of sense to me regardless of my abusive history. (this is why adult dx is a complex thing)

    BUT ... let me not lose track here. I'm just starting to see how this whole thing about constant psychotherapy may not be such a good thing for me ... or simply that I need a break from it. I certainly know well the pitfalls with regard to having to always go over one's story during those times of reapplying for a government funded mental health plan. It's in that process I am starting to feel burdened, demeaned and misread. There is also a dependency dynamic that plays into it all ... I think that becomes the barrel where people, professionals inadvertently play their role ... as do we.

    I ponder more on this as to what it is that I really want and how I can continue to fit into this mold of proving myself for the food, water and air I breathe. In this world ... it all comes down to the money and how we play are part. ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz

    There has to be a more effective way ... I guess it's about learning from the experience? What have I learned?

    As above.

  8. #8
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    Cut and past from a recent response I made in another thread:

    Q. Discussion: How do you difference your symptoms from similar illnesses?
    'By addressing the root causes that led to the labels. The less I focus on the labels, the more I am able to find and face the causes.'

    ​I guess therein lay the answer for me. The irony is I think I will see this ASD diagnosis out (if this therapists still wants to facilitate the process as I no longer trust her and require a support person to see her) - but once done and regardless of outcome ... I give up on that part of the system as how many times have I pointed to its futility.

    Fancy having to feel like you need a support person to see a therapist you've been seeing for years? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I wonder how she will feel about that? Might have cut the cord already. We shall see. The ultimate irony. Either there are there to help, or they are not. $$$$$$ seems to dictate intention.
    Last edited by Ponder; 01-26-2018 at 03:44 PM.

  9. #9
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    Mt take on the systems GPMHTP GP Mental Health Treatment Plan:

    I think that will be the last K10 form I go through for a whiles. The system requires people to stay sick in order to justify helping them. Just seems counter productive to me. Playing the part is getting old and only serving to hold me back from the real me. Excuse my tone but ... Fuck Society!!!



    What's a K10 form? It's theform sitting to the right of my laptops monitor behind the plastic cup. More specifically it's just a tick and flick form a GP fills out in 15 minutes to warrant whether they should or should not allow you government funded sessions with either and or a registered psychologist, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, or
    appropriately trained social workers and occupational therapists. Generally refereed to as a 12 month mental health plan from a client perspective and a GPMHTP GP mental health treatment plan from a practitioners point of view. Typically you get six sessions a year with the option for a letter requesting another four all within a 12 month period. For me, that's routinely been 10 sessions a year over the last several years. I had a break in between but then relapsed and started going regularly again. I know a thing or two about the process ... pros and cons. I'm going to write a little about what comes to mind as I get ready to pull the plug.

    Once again forgive my tone. Society certainly needs some kind of measure in place for the ever growing mental illness that now plagues this world. Given today's trend with the 'Health Industry' and all the resultant services ... mental illness is set to boom! It already is.

    Here's the thing. Most people accessing these government funded plans are within the lower income bracket of society. Lower Socioeconomic Types. With the majority being Welfare Dependent. So it is from this perspective I share. We have all heard from those the fervently defend the health care system. Many of those types have no idea what it's like from a long term welfare perspective. You get your retirees that only hit the welfare cycle in their later years. Like many of the doctors, they are hardwired to think only one way, lacking the insight that comes from beneath their feet. There is yet another type that defend the health care system. These being low income earners. They earn a living ... they too are hardwired to think only one way. Ownership and Property being the flag under which they subscribe. Just look at the the photo in the first post of this thread - the entrance into one of one of 'our' public primary schools - and let it sink in. Whilst there are many categories within this dynamic of society, I will just list the third as dog eat dog ... the undesirables grappling to climb the rungs in the hope to be accepted, to become free from shame and guilt. The last one is quite sad to see yet reveals the power of perception management in all it's glory. Now the latter I don't expect many in here to understand the context in how it is the we sheep be led as we be. That in itself is a completely different lesson in itself.

    Russel Bran spells out quite well the economic disparity and the Zeitgeist Series have exposed the failing of societies monetary system. That's enough to have anyone to meet the K10 requirements to receive help; that is if we are not too scared to be honest with how that makes us feel. The problem is how these professionals have been taught to react when we reach out for help.
    _________________________

    K10 after K10 with random GPs who can never afford the time it takes to really know one's history not care enough to warrant the effort, in much the same way welfare resident, worn out, greedy and overworked psychs tick and flick then hand out their labels and prescriptions. My therapist really fucked up big time when she stated in her reply to me that she's not paid to counsel via email. It;s a little more complicate than that, however it set off the warning bells that shes finally wearing down like everyone else. Not personal of course ... not now as I fathom how the system wares us all down. I still take in a support person unless she objects.

    Anyways ... this having to go over the story over and over in a extremely detrimental ... always having to prove how sick one is in order to receive an illusion of help ... carrot on a stick. Why have I been chasing it in the first place? I think it's obvious. I can't work. Not in a society the way our one is. Despite having the paper work to warrant my welfare payments ... why have I been wasting my time with psychotherapy? Initially like the medications I was given and took ... there is a honey moon period where it feels good. But I see now it comes are a cost!

    Just like any long term relationship there is a co-dependency that builds up. I then play into the needy aspect resultant from all those years of abuse and rejection. This leads me into the 'I must prove myself mentality' The fact is you don't have to come from the lower bracket and or suffer an atypical background of abuse to suffer this disorder of need to prove ones worth. That's embedded in the system from school and up. It's the very thing doctors look for in order to warrant how they pass out the help. It really is as simple as that.

    It's time for me to give up jumping through the hoops ... at least whilst I am not under review. Oh I will jump the hoops when I must. Therein lay another part of the problem. People acting the part they feel they must play in order to gain the need that they've been taught is a must; in order to fit in with the US. It's a script that people adopt whether they like it or not. It's the one we are given - but then when we lose ourselves to it; it becomes real! Not a good thing in a complacent system. The system itself will drive you insane. The re-telling of one's story begins to feel like an iteration, the lack on care and information as to who you be and resulting miss guided referrals lead only to more pain. With the re-telling comes re-labeling ... around and around ... again and again.

    Fuck them and their system ... You really need to be careful when you hear those words so flimsy said "Go See Your Health Care Professional." Sure you may need to see them, but do so only as a means to an end. This lesson more for those of that have lived long enough to know. If you don't know ... then your probably better off going to see your health care professional. When you have been sick for long enough ... the penny will finally drop.

    Tuesday I am suppose to see this therapist that I no longer trust. I wonder how the support worker will respond for my request for them to come. hmmmmmm ... Truly like I said earlier .. a sad day when you need support to see a therapist. Only reason is I will take the DX on ASD because it's less stigmatized than the fucking way I get treated when I list the labels on my previous report ... most of which the GP that just did this last K10 only knew of one. This brings me to the question why bother going back to her? Because I have the option for support and I want to simply thank her for her suggestion but NO ... she missed some crucial information and here it is. Also to let her know the experience of such is reason why I'll be no longer seeking to put myself through such a negative experience.

    I've enough history and experience to snap back into the roll if and when the time is required. In some ways I think I see myself as a professional head case retiree. Time to hand up the gloves. No need to keep beating myself up. If I am going to bitch about that part of the system ... then it's time to give it up.
    __________________________________________________ ____________________

    Will I give up the mentoring plan and also the mental health community place I frequent from time to time? I think I will keep it going as it's a different kettle of fish. There are some facets that work well enough. They don't require me to retell, endure their recommendations ... more opinions that dictate my funding. Yes they do have requirements, but they are easily met once on has a label that sticks. I'm just not seeking help through the allied health plan as listed above. Long term it becomes toxic ... I also think the long term seeing of a psychologist can be just as detrimental. Keep you clinging to being sick ... all those K10 defiantly do that combined with complacent professional attitudes ultimately driven by status and monetary value.

    Indeed Fuck Society! ... but what do I know ... I'm just byproduct:



    Even better → 1 2 & 3 in that order. Is a huge watch ... hopefully your ready.

  10. #10
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    It was 2014 when I turned that tables and gave up the pills that where given to me for my suicidal feelings. For me all the pills they handed out regarding anxiety and depression where short lived experiences of relief that only served to mask the pain and subtly lead to more where in the end I found myself to be worse than I was before. If you get the gist of those links above; you'll understand why it is the system creates the need. No matter ... just go see the GP and take your pills like a good little boy and girl.

    Why is this year so hard to get back on track compared to those others where despite the ups and downs I managed to keep my cycles smooth and low. I think I see it now. It's not so much the psychotherapy itself. That does have potential as long as one - mmmmmm - I want to say 'stays in control' - BUT - I think better said 'is able to let go.' The striving to staying in control is not a good thing, but letting go is where it's at. Short term therapy can help and I even think with the right kind of support long term could help hard and complex cases like myself. So don't be put off by my story. Psychotherapy can indeed help.

    My problem and issue is more to do with the ongoing rigmarole of constantly having to prove. Not the needy aspect that's ingrained in us all, but from the health care system that must prioritize funds in order that one may be approved. The latter aspect has a way of inflaming the former combined with the prerequisite of always remaining sick in order to maintain ongoing support. In this way, no matter the potential of help - one will inevitably be held back whilst subscribing to a system like this. It's why this year I am struggling so hard. I see it now.

    I think I will have to give up this ploy with ASD. Just like the Disability Pension the thought did not come from me. With that I resisted until such time I let go and just let things unfold. It was then that the urge to make a stand and accept what was required came to be where I made a stand. The irony was that in the end I accepted what was. I see now going back with support to tell the doc is my stand, my way of having my say before I truly give up and let go. Not in the way of taking the pills - but saying NO - this is why I am letting you and the psychotherapy go. I just got to let that foster a little bit over the next two days. Hold it without bitterness so I can really let them know. Enough is enough. Time for me to go back to healing myself. Their system is too toxic. It has it's moments - but in my experience ... from the hard and complex case - there system of approval is flawed. It's run its course. From here what happens happens.

    I have a few ideas and still stick with a few of my aims which are flexible with changing welfare reforms. I'll steer my boat in alignment with what makes sense ... I'll still jumping hoop but not in the manner or be so quick as I've been. Time to stop living in fear. I think this aspect of attachment has been my biggest hurdle of all. It's one thing to see society for what it is, it's another to truly detach.

    This year I work on that.
    _______________________________

    Back To Healing Myself ...

 

 

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