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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by iwanttobeok View Post
    This is also why parents get anxiety So many questions about the kinds of lessons they are teaching their child with every thing they do. Are they holding their kids' hands too much or too little? Are they really happy? Do they get enough punishment? Too much? How do they treat others at school? Are they going to be happy with the decisions made for them now and later? Are they actually envious of their child? Well, some of them anyways. It's quite a big deal being productive about morality with each other, let alone passing on habits you may not be happy with on to new humans. And that is if you care enough to think about it, which many don't do and is the reason a lot of issues exist.
    Parenting is never easy as no one could teach two people how to be a great parent. It's all a learning process which can be affected by how these parents were treated when they were kids. There are definitely a lot of issues existing and anxiety is among them. We can only hope we can make the world a slightly better place by doing the small things that matter.

    -Habit-

    We all have our habits, both the good and the bad. We know that good habits are hard to come by while the bad habits are the easiest to do. To sleep in and to procrastinate are two of the most common bad habits we have. Good habits like going to the gym daily require a lot more work and lots of discipline to get them established.

    Good habits are hard to accomplish but they are good for our wellbeing or even our success. Most of us heard about the three months needed to establish a good habit. We need to do the same thing continuously for every single day for it to become a habit. For instance, you probably need three months of going to the gym daily before it simply becomes a part of your routine as opposed to this chore you force yourself into doing.

    Bad habits are so easy to get and very difficult to get rid of. Take me for example. I have procrastination which is one of the worst habits to have. People like me usually delay and plan on doing something the next day. The thing about life is that opportunities don't come back the very next day. If you missed it, it's forever out of reach. I know this and the push to stop procrastination has been an uphill battle.

    Habits also say something about the person. If the person has a lot of bad habits, they have been taking the easy way out. I'm not here to judge anyone since I was no different. I also see bad habits as one of the reason why school or work isn't going as well as they did. I thought I had plenty of time so I kept procrastinating at school. Now, I realized that I have this timebomb ticking down and, unless I make changes soon, things will go further downhill.

    Since habits define who we are, we want to have many good habits. Having multiple good habits means you are better disciplined than those who have fewer good habits. This sort of discipline sees you better focused on your goals without giving in or getting distracted. It's far better getting disciplined now and enjoy life later than taking the easy route now and regretting later in life.

  2. #22
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    In essence, start small Begin with a few habits, then on to more and begin when you are young. However, it's never too late to start.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by iwanttobeok View Post
    In essence, start small Begin with a few habits, then on to more and begin when you are young. However, it's never too late to start.
    It's never a good idea to overwhelm yourself. Taking a step at a time is always a good approach. It's certainly never too late.

    -Work-

    Work is what we need to pay for our expenses. After graduation from high school and/or post-secondary, you'll be spending most of your time working. It's a big part of your life so it's natural you want to do more than just tolerate it. From my personal experience, I've done a lot of part-time work while I was attending school. I had some jobs that were really pushing my tolerance for them so I wanted to leave as soon as possible.

    First, you should enjoy the work at least to a certain extent. For example, you might be doing customer service. You should at least enjoy the interaction with the customers so work doesn't seem that bad and passes relatively quickly. If even customer interaction, possibly the main portion of your duties, is awful, then most days are terrible, if not worse should something happen with one of the coworkers.

    Secondly, you must also feel like you're making progress at work. You don't want to go to work knowing what will happen and what you'll accomplish before even starting. At this point, work feels like a chore and most people, including me, don't look forward to doing chores at all. These make work so dull that you never want to go to work and would go to any lengths to avoid it without getting fired.

    My worst job experience was at a fast food restaurant. Much of it was pretty miserable where my shift began before the restaurant opened. I was there to do prep work and, with us being shorthanded a lot of the time, it gets real tough to meet the deadlines. The only upside was being cashier but I was rarely assigned that. The management wasn't great either so not enough pros to even rival the cons.

    I was going there feeling like I'm headed nowhere. It's a fast food restaurant where the only future seem to be becoming a manager at the restaurant. I'm not saying it's a bad job but it's simply not one that could bring out my full potential. When I left, it was such a relief and I know I won't ever look back at it with regret. I probably regretted not leaving any sooner honestly.

    If you are searching for a job, you need to find one you enjoy and/or see a great future for yourself. There's nothing worse in life than getting a job you hate which gets you nowhere in life due to limited career options. I couldn't imagine myself working at the fast food restaurant full-time for the rest of my life so I cannot imagine how people do a job they hate as a living.

  4. #24
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    Whilst using parents as an example with regard to the negative impact of exceptions and projecting, I would advice looking at the bigger picture so as not to be caught up in - the blame game. An example of the revolving door effect would be kids blaming parents until such a time that they become parents themselves, whilst at the same time during that journey we have teacher also blaming parents and let's not discount the media also getting on that band wagon. If you really want to get into the bones of were expectations and projected ideals come from, then you have to look at the system as a whole; AKA Society.

    The closer you get to the source the more that source will resist, project and expect and if not happy it will reject! WORK? Work as we know it today is mostly experienced as a form of slavery in order to obtain money to pay one's way. Its a rare thing for the majority in today's work force to actually enjoy doing "their"thing. Most are not doing "their" thing. They are merely spinning the wheel so that the conveyor belts can keep churning out all more things to fill the empty void that marketers perpetuate in those that already have more than enough. The very definition of work is not projected solely buy one's parents, but more so the system into which most of today's children are subject to systemic dogmatic institutionalization. Parents do not build these institutions, but they are forced, by said system to send their babies into minding centers where the mind takes shape under a regime. Money governs ... Parents do not. Control is an illusion. The family dynamic is a futile ideal in this centry. The concept is still preached, but in reality that ideal has no room to breathe.

    Like any system of abuse and resulting trauma, people live in denial and accept the indoctrination by spouting the ideals they have been taught and going to to become their own police. That is to say chastising others who seemingly see the futility of the system by blaming and shaming others who have the audacity to raise questions that go against the grain. So it is that we instead take the easy way out by passing the buck and continually living out this pattern of shame and blame. The system encourages us to live this way by sensationalizing stories, supporting varioius articles and scientific findings and above all groom us to become dependent on the projected findings of anything ... other than what we may ... ourselves think or feel . On one hand it indoctrinates obligations and responsibilities, yet fears the power of true individual freedom by hounding those that dare to live outside it's ideals.

    Basically I am saying this in the context of don't focus on one's parents or any other individual position (teacher, school or even the system) that projects and expects - Today's System molds the minds of humans as soon as they are born. Parents have little choice over what most kids are taught, yet that system is so quick to blame the parents because like clock work the kids take the bait and are distracted from the truth of what's really going on and will go on to live a life of shame and blame. They themselves go on to become little police officers reprimanding others as they look towards chasing those ideal jobs, houses, cars and all those wonderful "things!" It's the consumerist society in which we live and it's how we are all governed AKA regime.

    Gypsy once has an awesome sig ... not sure if she still has it. I can't quite remember it, but I think it goes along the lines of us all living like TUBES. Things go in one end and then come out the other. That is pretty much the existence of today's modern human. The more that goes in and the faster we consume, the more successful we think we have become. God help anyone who gets in the way of that ... and for those not consuming enough ... well they break down only wishing they could be jamming more in. *&^%ing ridiculous how we are taught to live and how are taught to think.
    _____________

    Anyways ... I'm reading a lot of positive stuff within this thread and I pretty much agree with most of it although see things a little differently. Just adding in that different point of view as was the invitation to do so ... or how I read it back on page one. Some really great advice in here about identifying what it is that one really wants and to be careful not to become what others expect and or project. Learning to avoid negativity is a huge one. Alas I am not as bitter as I once was when viewing the bigger picture. I still see it ... but now just accept it for what it is. Let those self policing groups go on to hound and justify the way they live and do as they do. Just be sure not to react to the negativity that's projected daily in this overpopulated and troubles world. Do that and you will soon discover we don't need all that garbage that the many so voraciously strive for in order to exist. More over by ignoring such idealistic projections, one will finally discover what it's really like to live.

    Going down the path of Secular spirituality has been a big help for me. It's not a term I cling to but one that for the most part offers up a better alternative than what imo any main-streamer could ever hope to derive from societal ideals as currently governed by any faction within it's cancerous states. Is why forums like these are a dime a dozen. Time to start changing the tune. Rewire the brain. Just be the one to do the changing. Be the Change we wish to see. Just be sure to see what is and then maybe ... just maybe our wants will change accordingly and the new direction upon which we gaze will have us see the world in new light ... despite the many unsettling realities. I think it's all in the way we hold our gaze. ... but that's another story.
    Last edited by Ponder; 07-01-2017 at 03:51 AM.
    "...the cost of sanity in this society is a certain level of alienation" ~ Terrance McKenna → https://pondermovedhere.blogspot.com/

  5. #25
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    I would say that if you choose to take on the responsibility of introducing said kids to economic subservience and such, the least parents could do is accept the blame. Also, there's a difference between hurting yourself reminding yourself of who is to blame and discounting the blame of someone so that you can pretend it helps you move on. The bigger picture is made up of little things to make whatever monstrosity of an image it is, so it's like inspecting a cavity I would say parents have a lot of choice in what their kids are taught - they just don't act on it or see the need to, or even know of some options available. Yes of course it's taught to them not to care as much as they should, but it is also their job as caregivers to introspect. I've heard the phrase " Don't blame the dog - blame the dog owner ",however. Sometimes it seems like there isn't even any other choice when the schooling culture is so pervasive. I would agree with just about everything else. The culture dismissing alternative education and instead glorifying "schooling" instead of true learning is ridiculous. It is disturbing to witness the mass-produced ignorance that is still somehow in high demand.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ponder View Post
    Whilst using parents as an example with regard to the negative impact of exceptions and projecting, I would advice looking at the bigger picture so as not to be caught up in - the blame game. An example of the revolving door effect would be kids blaming parents until such a time that they become parents themselves, whilst at the same time during that journey we have teacher also blaming parents and let's not discount the media also getting on that band wagon. If you really want to get into the bones of were expectations and projected ideals come from, then you have to look at the system as a whole; AKA Society.

    The closer you get to the source the more that source will resist, project and expect and if not happy it will reject! WORK? Work as we know it today is mostly experienced as a form of slavery in order to obtain money to pay one's way. Its a rare thing for the majority in today's work force to actually enjoy doing "their"thing. Most are not doing "their" thing. They are merely spinning the wheel so that the conveyor belts can keep churning out all more things to fill the empty void that marketers perpetuate in those that already have more than enough. The very definition of work is not projected solely buy one's parents, but more so the system into which most of today's children are subject to systemic dogmatic institutionalization. Parents do not build these institutions, but they are forced, by said system to send their babies into minding centers where the mind takes shape under a regime. Money governs ... Parents do not. Control is an illusion. The family dynamic is a futile ideal in this centry. The concept is still preached, but in reality that ideal has no room to breathe.

    Like any system of abuse and resulting trauma, people live in denial and accept the indoctrination by spouting the ideals they have been taught and going to to become their own police. That is to say chastising others who seemingly see the futility of the system by blaming and shaming others who have the audacity to raise questions that go against the grain. So it is that we instead take the easy way out by passing the buck and continually living out this pattern of shame and blame. The system encourages us to live this way by sensationalizing stories, supporting varioius articles and scientific findings and above all groom us to become dependent on the projected findings of anything ... other than what we may ... ourselves think or feel . On one hand it indoctrinates obligations and responsibilities, yet fears the power of true individual freedom by hounding those that dare to live outside it's ideals.

    Basically I am saying this in the context of don't focus on one's parents or any other individual position (teacher, school or even the system) that projects and expects - Today's System molds the minds of humans as soon as they are born. Parents have little choice over what most kids are taught, yet that system is so quick to blame the parents because like clock work the kids take the bait and are distracted from the truth of what's really going on and will go on to live a life of shame and blame. They themselves go on to become little police officers reprimanding others as they look towards chasing those ideal jobs, houses, cars and all those wonderful "things!" It's the consumerist society in which we live and it's how we are all governed AKA regime.

    Gypsy once has an awesome sig ... not sure if she still has it. I can't quite remember it, but I think it goes along the lines of us all living like TUBES. Things go in one end and then come out the other. That is pretty much the existence of today's modern human. The more that goes in and the faster we consume, the more successful we think we have become. God help anyone who gets in the way of that ... and for those not consuming enough ... well they break down only wishing they could be jamming more in. *&^%ing ridiculous how we are taught to live and how are taught to think.
    _____________

    Anyways ... I'm reading a lot of positive stuff within this thread and I pretty much agree with most of it although see things a little differently. Just adding in that different point of view as was the invitation to do so ... or how I read it back on page one. Some really great advice in here about identifying what it is that one really wants and to be careful not to become what others expect and or project. Learning to avoid negativity is a huge one. Alas I am not as bitter as I once was when viewing the bigger picture. I still see it ... but now just accept it for what it is. Let those self policing groups go on to hound and justify the way they live and do as they do. Just be sure not to react to the negativity that's projected daily in this overpopulated and troubles world. Do that and you will soon discover we don't need all that garbage that the many so voraciously strive for in order to exist. More over by ignoring such idealistic projections, one will finally discover what it's really like to live.

    Going down the path of Secular spirituality has been a big help for me. It's not a term I cling to but one that for the most part offers up a better alternative than what imo any main-streamer could ever hope to derive from societal ideals as currently governed by any faction within it's cancerous states. Is why forums like these are a dime a dozen. Time to start changing the tune. Rewire the brain. Just be the one to do the changing. Be the Change we wish to see. Just be sure to see what is and then maybe ... just maybe our wants will change accordingly and the new direction upon which we gaze will have us see the world in new light ... despite the many unsettling realities. I think it's all in the way we hold our gaze. ... but that's another story.
    Thanks for the feedback! I will agree that a lot of these need to be fleshed out eventually and I appreciate what you have provided to me.

    I know the blame game is dangerous. Placing blame and making excuses get people nowhere. Yet, I use parents as an example due to certain reasons. First, most people trust their parents more than other people. When the parents give advice or suggestion, people generally listen since they wouldn't question those they trust and love. Secondly, the early stages of a person' life is largely spent with parents. We all know how important role models are for youths. Therefore, we cannot simply discount the major impact parents have on the development of people during the earlier stages of their life.

    I will agree that work today is a form of slavery. The schools people generally praise are actually preparing the next generation for the workforce. They aren't trained in critical thinking allowing them to fully unlock their potential. They are trained to work at a job without question and make little to no mistake. In addition, the schools also encourage everyone to be the same. Those troublemakers are dealt with suspensions and detentions. It's truly horrifying how our society has developed but it's the world we live in. While we may or may not be capable of changing society as a whole, we can at the very least control how we live our lives.

    _______________

    I will try to use different contexts as well. I'm still new to this so it's just a learning process. I really do appreciate the feedback and I do want different point of view. Essentially, I do want a sort of discussion since part of life is searching for answers. People with different journeys pick up different things in life. If we are too focused on ourselves thinking we have the only right answers, we become ignorant of what life could really teach us.

    It's certainly ridiculous how our society function. Part of what I'm hoping to do here is to start discussion where people talk about their own thoughts. It's bad enough we have all this negativity in life. We need a way to vent while getting something back. I find that, talking and discussing one's part and experiences, allows people to really dig down and understand themselves. Thanks once again for the great feedback!

    Quote Originally Posted by iwanttobeok View Post
    I would say that if you choose to take on the responsibility of introducing said kids to economic subservience and such, the least parents could do is accept the blame. Also, there's a difference between hurting yourself reminding yourself of who is to blame and discounting the blame of someone so that you can pretend it helps you move on. The bigger picture is made up of little things to make whatever monstrosity of an image it is, so it's like inspecting a cavity I would say parents have a lot of choice in what their kids are taught - they just don't act on it or see the need to, or even know of some options available. Yes of course it's taught to them not to care as much as they should, but it is also their job as caregivers to introspect. I've heard the phrase " Don't blame the dog - blame the dog owner ",however. Sometimes it seems like there isn't even any other choice when the schooling culture is so pervasive. I would agree with just about everything else. The culture dismissing alternative education and instead glorifying "schooling" instead of true learning is ridiculous. It is disturbing to witness the mass-produced ignorance that is still somehow in high demand.
    The blame game can be dangerous for sure but parents do play a key role in how a person develops into an adult. Parenting is sadly a skill that cannot be taught. It's something to be learned from experience and often affected by one's own childhood. Though, I do believe parents have the duties of doing what's indeed the best for their kids. A lot of parents wonder why their kids are unhappy but they do little to change that. Sometimes, better communication skills between parents and children can go a long way. Thanks for joining the discussion.

  7. #27
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    Once again, very well said. You never fail to impress. The forum is very fortunate to have posting as you do. I know I appreciate it and am learning a thing ot two.
    "...the cost of sanity in this society is a certain level of alienation" ~ Terrance McKenna → https://pondermovedhere.blogspot.com/

  8. #28
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    I guess it does seem like they can't be taught seeing some just are naturally more willing to be parents to their kids than others. Sometimes people actively seek to make their kids' lives better than their own ( but I guess it still means their parenting is affected by their own childhood) and others neglect to break the cycle. And a lot of parents see why their kids are unhappy but still do little to change it, whether because societal expectations and the like dictate it to be normal or because they find doing so somehow goes against their own best interest. And it seems like schools are trying to break the familial bond, from keeping kids very young to tying them down with numerous things outside of the building leaving them little time to create meaningful human relationships. No wonder kids seem to have it harder

  9. #29
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    Gandhi nails the futility of family attachment when he contrasts it to us all being in this together. That until such a point that we accept ourselves and others as equals that we shall be like stressed out rats running a maze. We fool ourselves by adopting ideals that seek to keep us separated through relgion, gender, "age", culture, family status, employment and all other forms of socioeconomic status. In all these facets we insanely seek control. We not only seek to control each other but to dominate everything and all forms of life. We delude ourselves by thinking we are the ones standing in white coats thinking our way to total control whilst all along we are the ones running the maze; the ones that cant accept knowing no end.

    When all else fails just blame Mum or Dad, says the discontented rat who thinks he or she is wearing the coat. On the other side of the coin, Mums and Dads may blame the kids. You get the picture? Futile!

    Speaking of futile lets just call in the Borg and let them take control. I think a much better solution. If we must subscribe to the importance of thought ... then that way we will all be thinking as one; regardless of Mum, Dad & or the Kids.


    Sending off a distress call now. Don't worry ... we'll all be assimilated & better understand each other soon enough. hehe.

    Last edited by Ponder; 07-01-2017 at 08:39 PM.
    "...the cost of sanity in this society is a certain level of alienation" ~ Terrance McKenna → https://pondermovedhere.blogspot.com/

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ponder View Post
    Once again, very well said. You never fail to impress. The forum is very fortunate to have posting as you do. I know I appreciate it and am learning a thing ot two.
    Thanks for the kind words! I'm merely sharing my thoughts and experiences. Nothing more, nothing less.

    Quote Originally Posted by iwanttobeok View Post
    I guess it does seem like they can't be taught seeing some just are naturally more willing to be parents to their kids than others. Sometimes people actively seek to make their kids' lives better than their own ( but I guess it still means their parenting is affected by their own childhood) and others neglect to break the cycle. And a lot of parents see why their kids are unhappy but still do little to change it, whether because societal expectations and the like dictate it to be normal or because they find doing so somehow goes against their own best interest. And it seems like schools are trying to break the familial bond, from keeping kids very young to tying them down with numerous things outside of the building leaving them little time to create meaningful human relationships. No wonder kids seem to have it harder
    Kids having it harder isn't necessarily a bad thing. We grow a lot more during out hardships and this may see some of them breaking the cycle. As cruel as it sounds, not everyone will succeed in life. If everyone succeeds, then this success is basically the new norm and loses its meaning.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ponder View Post
    Gandhi nails the futility of family attachment when he contrasts it to us all being in this together. That until such a point that we accept ourselves and others as equals that we shall be like stressed out rats running a maze. We fool ourselves by adopting ideals that seek to keep us separated through relgion, gender, "age", culture, family status, employment and all other forms of socioeconomic status. In all these facets we insanely seek control. We not only seek to control each other but to dominate everything and all forms of life. We delude ourselves by thinking we are the ones standing in white coats thinking our way to total control whilst all along we are the ones running the maze; the ones that cant accept knowing no end.

    When all else fails just blame Mum or Dad, says the discontented rat who thinks he or she is wearing the coat. On the other side of the coin, Mums and Dads may blame the kids. You get the picture? Futile!

    Speaking of futile lets just call in the Borg and let them take control. I think a much better solution. If we must subscribe to the importance of thought ... then that way we will all be thinking as one; regardless of Mum, Dad & or the Kids.


    Sending off a distress call now. Don't worry ... we'll all be assimilated & better understand each other soon enough. hehe.

    There's definitely this mentality of us and them. We, from a young age, find groups we belong and see other groups as weird or abnormal. I think this ties into the blame game where people can blame other groups so their own group seems to be the only right group. The more distinctions we make, the less likely we get from making real progress. Prejudice and racism are just two common examples of how we are quite divided and sees less cooperation. I cannot remember where I heard this but it was something like we needed cooperation and competition together to move forward in life. Nowadays, we have too much competition and too little cooperation resulting in our progress slowing down tremendously.

 

 

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