Discussing Some Topics

[Rick(amateur)]

-Success 4-

We all know about shortcuts where we are trying to reach a destination and the shortcut allows us to get there quicker. I gave the impression in the last entry that the journey is more important than the destination. We grow, learn and become a better person during our journey.

I like to see success as an accumulation of a lot of smaller successes. We could see these smaller successes as tiny building blocks. As a gamer, I like to use game analogies to get my point across. Let's say we are in a game where we need to collect a lot of coins or building blocks to get an achievement. To gather all of these, we need to explore the entire map. If we don't collect all the items, we won't even get a trophy.

This is true with real life as well. If we take shortcuts, we miss out on opportunities and people, both of which could play a critical role in our success. Once we reach the supposed destination, we discovered that the success we achieved was much less than what we expected. That's only due to us skipping so many experiences in life that could've created more success. By taking shortcuts, we are only fooling ourselves into thinking that there's a quicker way when there is none.

I learned this the hard way with university. I was more or less slacking in first and second year of university resulting in a weak foundation overall. This weak foundation becomes more apparent later in school when I struggle in courses. It didn't have to be like this and, in hindsight, I should've worked harder. I was taking shortcuts where I put less work and I got less result out of it. The world is fair in that aspect. We get as much as we invest in.

We all have 24 hours in a day regardless of where we are at. The only difference is how we use those 24 hours. We can either work hard, give it 120% and push for our dreams or we can wander aimlessly, take whatever shortcuts that may appear and have regrets later in life. I have been in the latter camp and working hard to change myself so I can be in the former camp.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Success 5-

When there are no shortcuts, we must take the entire journey. As a result, we cannot hope to achieve success without investing a lot of time into it. This is obvious with the successful people we see in our society. We only see the outcome of their hard work and the time they invested into it.

One example I like to use is the Olympics. The athletes don't actually compete for very long if you look at what they compete in. Yet, it's the hard work and the time they spent outside of the competition. The endless hours of training and working towards their goals. They had to not only push their own limits but also compete for a spot to represent their country.

Time is really a valuable resource. If you run out of money, you can go earn more of it. Since time only moves forward, the time you use up isn't coming back. I admit that I do procrastinate from time to time and working hard to change all of that. I'm 25 now and those 25 years aren't coming back to me. I have regrets about how I used those time but I'm still relatively young and, if I make use of my time from the present onward, I can make my dream come true.

People tend to forget that everyone have 24 hours in a day. What separates the successful people and those who wander aimlessly in life is how they use their time. Back to the example of the athletes, these people work every single day pushing their limits. People who go to the gym regularly likely won't come close to these athletes since the difference in the time invested is noticeable.

There's a mentality we must have when we have found our purpose. There are people who have all these dreams but they never get started in their pursuit. As a result, each day that's gone is a day lost in getting them closer to the dream. That's why I'm working hard to make better use of this valuable resource. No one can take away my time and proper use of it will get me further.

Use your time wisely! Don't even pray for a time machine since that will cause more problems. Time, along with hard work and perseverance, will get you to the success you always wanted.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Success 6-

Regardless of what we want to achieve, we will always encounter critics who tell us that we cannot do it. Sadly, a lot of the people who critique us are people we care about. Usually, it's our parents who don't approve of our dreams. I personally have this issue where my parents would rather have me attend school to get a degree as opposed to pursuing my dreams.

The thing about success is that is doesn't come easy since there are no shortcuts. During this long journey, we will have moments where we doubt ourselves and wonder if we made the right decision. The truth is the only person who can talk us out of our dreams is ourselves. I believe that, if you are pursuing your dream, you need to get through the highs and lows because you'll later look back at the path you took and say you have no regrets.

The critics tell you that you cannot do it because they don't think they can do it and they lack the confidence in you in doing the seemingly impossible. No one knows you better than yourself but don't let them bother you. They'll always be there and there's nothing more satisfying than silencing your critics by doing what seems impossible. You need confidence and put faith into yourself to make your dream come true and find success in life.

There will be days you don't want to get out of bed. There will also be days when you consider quitting altogether. Critics will be there during the lowest part of our journey. Let's say a person hasn't been doing well with his/her business. The critics will be the loudest at this moment with the "I told you so" mentality. These are the biggest challenges in our lives so we must be determined to weather the storm.

For me, the idea of helping myself and other people are what keeps me going regardless how the situation goes. I want my dream to become a reality and achieve the success that has my name on it. I won't let my critics, including my parents, from stopping me from achieving that. There will come a day where I find success and even my parents will admit that they were wrong about me. I look forward to that day!

[Rick(amateur)]

-Success 7-

Last entry, I was talking about how we will encounter critics along the way to our dreams and success. Sometimes, the critics can be those very close to us. My message was to keep going and not let them bother you.

After experiencing some events in life and watching numerous motivational videos, I see a clear difference between those who find success and those who wander aimlessly in life. What separates them is perseverance. And if anyone of you have seen my website, you'll see the image of a mountain.

I find the mountain to be a perfect analogy for life. Basically, we start at the very bottom and our dreams along with success are found at the highest peak of the mountain. Naturally, we wouldn't be able to reach the peak very easily. We need to condition our body and work regularly to reach newer heights. What makes this mountain more challenging is that, when we stop pushing, we start sliding back down until, given enough time, we'll be at the base again.

To climb this mountain, we'll need to persevere. There might be harsh weather like storms that threaten to knock you back down. There will also be moments you get sick and feel like you cannot get up, let alone make progress. During these days, we need to learn how to continue pushing and moving forward. Most importantly, we got to learn to keep looking up.

If we are too busy looking down, we can easily dwell on a past that we no longer have control over. When you look up, you will keep your focus on where you're headed. Of course, it might appear that you aren't making any progress since the peak looks no closer than before. Know that progress is being made but you need time to really notice it. It might not appear so but, as long as you continue pushing and never give up, you will eventually see the results of your hard work.

Know that the challenges in life aren't going to be easy to overcome. We deal with critics, financial problems and health problems to name a few. These things can slow you down but, as long as you haven't given up, you will overcome them and move slowly towards your dream. Along the way, avoid making excuses like you don't have enough money or you're too old. With perseverance, you'll go much further than those who had given up on their dreams, some of whom gave up before they even began.

Be optimistic and remember you have more control over your life than you think. Each challenge in life is a lesson that makes you wiser and stronger. When you reach your dreams and find success, you'll be standing at the peak looking down. Once you're there, you can tell others how you began at the base of the mountain and now stand above all others. That would make you feel fulfilled and happy as you made something of your life.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Success 8-

While chasing our dreams, we tend to have a habit of making excuses. For example, I blamed my professors when my studies weren't going well. The thing about excuses is that it's so easy to make. I don't have enough time. I don't have enough money. If we don't want to do something, we can make excuses with ease.

The problem with excuses is that we are trying to blame other people or other things. The cruel truth is that we are the reason why we aren't succeeding. Yet, we are busy blaming others. The time we used to blame others could be instead used to further our goals and get closer to our dreams. In addition, blaming others also see us dwelling on the past and unable to focus on the present and future.

The other issues with blaming others is basically trying to justify that our problems are out of our control. We cannot control how another person respond or how the economy will work. Essentially, we are trying to say that these problems are caused by things out of our control and we basically cannot fix it. This is a dangerous mindset where we convince ourselves that we cannot change anything due to all these external factors.

I've done that before when I couldn't find a job or internship. I blamed society for my problems so I had to accept what was given to me. After some thinking, I realized that this isn't the case. I played a role for my failures. I could've worked harder at school so my grades aren't suffering. With better grades, I could've found internship opportunities.

Another common excuse is I don't have enough time. I used to use that excuse a lot. Looking back, I realized that I could change that. I use to watch a lot of YouTube videos that contribute nothing to my life other than serving as entertainment. If I ever think I need more time, I could cut down on watching videos and use the time for something more productive. Of course, I also procrastinate which means more time is wasted as a result. These time could have been used for my dream and who knows how far I'd get if I had dedicated more time into it.

A lot of these excuses really makes no sense if you look at them. If you need to blame someone, blame yourself since this will put the responsibility on you. When you put the burden on you, you are in the mindset where you control your present and future as opposed being at the mercy of other people's decision. Sure, there are things we cannot control like our family and the environment we grow up in. Yet, we can change our situation by taking charge of where we are headed and how we want to see ourselves in 5, 10 or 20 years from now.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Success 9-

We will encounter doubt on our journey to our dreams and success. Doubt is natural since we are moving out of our comfort zone. For example, you wouldn't have doubt if you have done something for over 20 years. You are comfortable with it and have plenty of confidence in yourself as you more or less mastered the task.

When doubt arises, it's normal so don't treat it like it's deadly and would stop you from accomplishing your dreams. Just note that doubt is a sign of you stepping into the unknown. You are pushing your boundaries. This might be terrifying and doubt may cause you to wonder if you made the right decision or not.

You must remember that if we stick with the status quo. A status quo where we aren't following our dreams, do what others tell us and essentially not living our lives. There will come a time we have regrets and wonder why we hadn't walked a different path. Therefore, let doubt be that sign of you moving towards your dreams and success.

Dreams and success won't ever be easy and some parts of the journey will make you consider turning back. I must emphasize that getting started is one of the bigger challenges we face. I knew people who had dreams but they never really acted upon it. They have doubts from the very beginning and then basically talk themselves out of it thinking that they simply couldn't do it. For instance, we have talent shows around the world and, while many auditioned, there are probably more who considered this but decided against it in the end.

I believe the best way to prevent doubt from stopping you from pursuing your goals and dreams is to simply take action. We normally have doubt when we have hesitation. For instance, my website hasn't been gaining much attention. Doubt starts forming but, instead of letting it take root, I just go and make a video so I have something else I can upload to it. Basically, I'm distracting myself from the doubt by taking actions that move me closer to my dreams. As a result, there won't be time for doubt to really develop within me.

As I continue doing what's needed to make my dream a reality, doubt will steadily become irrelevant. After all, I'll be doing it for many months or many years so it becomes the new norm. Just keep moving forward and doubt is basically a sign that you are heading in the right direction. The day these doubts vanish for good is the day you reached your goals and know, with confidence, that you can do it.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Success 10-

The bigger your dream is, the more lonely you'll be in the initial stages of the journey. Your friends and family members will see you as a big dreamer who will one day realize that you were too unrealistic. As a result, you will lose friends and even family members if you wanted to pursue the dream.

Given that dreams don't come easy, you need to invest a lot of time and effort. This results in less time to hang out with friends and family members. These are sacrifices one have to make if they want to make something of their life. If they have people supporting them from the very beginning, then these are fortunate people. For most people like me, it's a long and lonely journey where we will have plenty of doubt and look back often.

Our society can be cruel so, unless you have great friends, you will find yourself alone during the time of need. Nobody is going to be there for you. When I was depressed, I have no one to go to and that pushed me towards my suicide attempt. Going on this journey will in a way help you determine if your friends are there for you or if they're fair weathered and gone at the first sign of trouble.

We must also remember that, on this journey of ours, we will encounter other people who are like-minded. These people have similar goals and dreams so they understand you. They will be there for you since they know you'll do the same in return.

During these moments when we are alone, we are also learning to do everything and becoming more independent. We learn new skills and/or improve some of our existing skills. Normally, we might do half the work while someone else does the other half. In this situation, we are forced to do the entire task. We discover that we can do more than what we thought was possible and slowly build confidence.

The first few stages of the journey won't be easy. It's filled with critics, doubts, challenges and loneliness. Keep going on this journey and you will find people you can count on. People who will have your people so you have people you can treasure for the rest of your life. Part of the success we seek is finding friends who will be with us through our highs and lows. While the journey seem daunting, going through it will be far more rewarding than sticking with the status quo.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Loneliness-

You will encounter loneliness in your life. You will have highs and lows throughout your life. During those lows, you will discover if you have fair weathered friends or not. These people want to be there during the good days but will abandon you as soon as the going gets tough. Of course, some people will have friends who remain by their side. For most of us, we will find out we are actually quite lonely during those days.

When we are lonely, we feel like we're outcasts of society. We feel empty and simply don't belong anywhere. We might not act different or look different but we simply don't fit in. For me, my university campus is pretty big and, as a loner, I'm just going between classes. Other people have friends they hang out with, chat with and laugh with. It's never a good feeling seeing myself have no one. For most of my life, I have been a loner where I'm just by myself. The feeling of loneliness just eats me up from the inside if I ever let it.

Loneliness can be a terrible thing. I believe it's the main factor for my suicide attempt. I'm certain a lot of people had similar feelings as me at the time when they're lonely. It seemed like, if we were gone today, no one would notice the very next day. Our existence seem so insignificant that, regardless of whether we are present or not, the world would go on spinning as though nothing had changed.

Having been there, I know dwelling on the loneliness allows it manifest into something terrible. It eventually overwhelms us and push us towards the extreme. Loneliness will happen eventually in your life. It's a phase in our life and it's not always a bad thing. We just got to learn how to utilize this feeling and use to help us seek a better future.

There are ways to combat loneliness. First, view it as a phase or phases of your life. By seeing it as a phase, you know that it will pass. It won't pass overnight but, give it enough time and put in some work, it will pass and be something of the past. Secondly, treat loneliness as a sign about what you must do with your life. When you feel loneliness, something must not be working out well so changes are in order.

I've been a loner all my life so far because I never followed my dreams, my heart and listened to my heart. I'm seeking the friends that click with me. We all know those moments where a conversation with a stranger just click instantly as though you and that person had known forever. If I want to end this loneliness, I must make changes like pursuing my dreams. As I said in the last entry, I will find those friends I always sought after.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Envy-

Everybody have been envious of others in the past. When I was a kid and my parents weren't particularly wealthy, I was envious of other kids who had the newest and coolest toys. They basically had the things I wished I had but were out of reach at the time.

Envy is something natural as it's part of being human. For some people, envy might be their main motivation in life. They see other people with great car and house so they decided that they want the same thing. Envy isn't necessarily a bad thing but it can blind people in their journey.

Let's use the great house and car as an example. What if the family purchasing those items are now heavily in debt? They could have borrowed a ton of money from the bank along with accumulating a bunch of credit card debt. If this family is paying the minimum amount each month, they would take forever to pay it off as the amount of interest they pay at the end is quite staggering.

The issue with envy is that people are too focused on being like someone else. They want the life of luxury presented by these other people. First, they are blinded from seeing what's needed to make such a lifestyle reality. Can you imagine living a life where you worry about if you can make the monthly payments? Too many people nowadays are living beyond their means and their debt accumulates each year until they are slave to their debts.

Secondly, envy blinds you from knowing what you want to achieve. In our society, success is commonly associated with owning a great house and car. What ends up happening is, if they get those, they might discover they aren't happy since they get plenty of debt in the process. Of course, these are also material things where, if a person is only focused on them, they will be compensating in other areas and feel unfulfilled in life.

Envy is natural and just shows that we are human beings. We shouldn't be too focused on what other people have since we have our own path. Trying to gain what other people have makes us walk further from the situation we truly want to be in. We have different definition of success and different methods to get there. Don't let your envy determine how you want to see yourself.

[iwanttobeok]

This is also why parents get anxiety So many questions about the kinds of lessons they are teaching their child with every thing they do. Are they holding their kids' hands too much or too little? Are they really happy? Do they get enough punishment? Too much? How do they treat others at school? Are they going to be happy with the decisions made for them now and later? Are they actually envious of their child? Well, some of them anyways. It's quite a big deal being productive about morality with each other, let alone passing on habits you may not be happy with on to new humans. And that is if you care enough to think about it, which many don't do and is the reason a lot of issues exist.