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  1. #111
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    We are all born with what need to live a perfectly balanced life. Family structure is something I feel is an illusion and one that plays well into religious, nationalistic, consumerist ideals.
    Happy to share. Your welcome.

    I like your views. Especially how you just keep writing as you feel.
    Don't ever stop doing that. I imagine you wont.

  2. #112
    Senior Member
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    May 2017
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    142
    Quote Originally Posted by Ponder View Post
    We are all born with what need to live a perfectly balanced life. Family structure is something I feel is an illusion and one that plays well into religious, nationalistic, consumerist ideals.
    Happy to share. Your welcome.

    I like your views. Especially how you just keep writing as you feel.
    Don't ever stop doing that. I imagine you wont.
    Well, we do need a balanced life, just not one defined by society which has only brought dissatisfaction and other negative emotions.

    I doubt I'll stop writing. These are helping me as well as I learn more about myself. I believe everyone have great potential and just need to dig deeper. That's why I won't stop writing!

  3. #113
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    May 2017
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    142
    -Decisions-

    Our lives are made up of the decisions we make. Therefore, decisions involve big things that shape and change our lives. We never say we made a big decision of having Chinese food for lunch today. It's usually relatively big things like going on a diet, overcoming a fear or going to a foreign country to study. These decisions will have large impact over our lives if we go through with them so we cannot take them lightly.

    One of the problems we face today is decisions for the younger generation. We see young people like kids and teens who have no control over the direction of their lives. Many of their parents want to make every single decision like what school they should attend, what activities they should do after school and other decisions that will affect their future in a big way.

    The main argument of the parents is usually the fact that their children are too young to know. It's true that kids and teens are inexperienced with life as they haven't seen enough. They aren't as well informed and are more prone to making bad decisions. Yet, this, along with other arguments, isn't good enough reason to take away the power to decide from these young people.

    First, these young people, when life doesn't go their way, will blame their parents who controlled their lives. They didn't get to make any decisions and they suddenly had excuses as to why they are failing. Excuses help no one but, if decision making was indeed out of their hands, they cannot really take responsibilities in what happened. However, they cannot be excused if they do nothing afterwards to change the situations to something more favorable.

    Secondly, decision making is a skill we learn and, through experience, master. We don't know how to do it immediately so, when the decisions are made for us when we were young, we lack this skill. It's essentially like parents who cook for their kids and a day comes when the kids must cook for themselves. As we can all imagine, it will be a huge disaster. Unable to cook won't necessarily have enormous impact. Unable to make key decisions in life is a whole different matter however.

    For parents, they must learn that they cannot walk the entire path called life for their kids. Somewhere along the way, they must let their kids walk their own path. It's true some decisions like what school might be harder for them to understand. That's why starting small is always a better alternative. Let the kids decide what they want to do for hobbies. As they gain experience in decision making, they will eventually be ready to make the bigger ones since they learn the steps needed to make up their minds.

  4. #114
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    May 2017
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    -Decisions 2-

    In our lives, we'll make the good and poor decisions. There's no way of avoiding the poor decisions because the only way for us to improve the skill is through experience. It's true we will stumble along the way but we will become stronger if we learned why we stumbled and don't make the same mistakes a second or third time. Poor decisions, however, can be a double edged sword.

    Poor decisions can teach us what not to do the next time. It shows us what doesn't work so we can change our approach the next time and achieve a better result. Yet, it can also paralyze us by clouding our judgement because we felt too much pain or suffering. The negative emotions like sadness, anger and helplessness tend to linger longer than the positive emotions. As a result, we get reminded regularly whenever we make poor decisions, especially those with large impact on our lives.

    I like to use the example of marriage. Let's say I met a woman who I thought was perfect. I saw this person as my other half and she believed the same. We got married a month later and, a year later, we had our first children. Then, things went downhill as we got into fight regularly since we possess flaws the other person couldn't tolerate. I might also be struggling financial with the birth of the child so my temper is getting worse. Things got so bad that we got divorced.

    Divorce brings a lot of emotions in our lives. I'd likely feel emptiness in losing both a wife and a child who's most likely been given custody to the mother. I'm also financially worse with the divorce. At this point in life, I could easily develop a view where I oppose anymore serious relationships from that point. Whenever I had decisions regarding relationship, I'll also decide on the option opposing it regardless if it's good or not. This might see me truly miss out on the woman who I needed in my life.

    The negative emotions and pain can cloud our judgement. It's true we must learn from our past but, when making serious decisions, we must give all the options a fair overview. Whenever we jump to a certain conclusion without thought, we are hurting ourselves by denying things and people that could change our live positively in a big way. Poor decisions should make us wiser, not more impulsive on certain matters.

  5. #115
    Senior Member
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    May 2017
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    142
    -Decisions 3-

    In the last entry, I talked about how negative emotions and pain can cloud our judgement. To avoid these happening again, we choose to run away. If we ever have to make a decision similar to the one that brought us suffering, we choose to avoid it altogether. After all, no one likes getting hurt and it's seen from a simple example of us staying away from a hot stove after getting burned once.

    Still, we must learn from our past experiences and the poor decisions usually teach us the best life lessons we need to get ahead. We should be learning these lessons so, next time we take a similar route, we know what to avoid. When we avoid these opportunities altogether, we might regret later on when we learned someone else found success taking a path we wanted but was too afraid to tread.

    Let's use the example I used last entry where I met this perfect woman and got married after a month. For this scenario, a month is way too short. We didn't know each other well enough and marriage is a long-term commitment, something the two of us failed to realize until a kid was given birth and cracks showed in the marriage. I was quite likely to be worse off financially which might see me oppose relationships altogether.

    I shouldn't let this experience stop me from starting a family that will remain intact for decades. I probably would have realized that one month of dating is too soon. A few years would be a better alternative as we learn more about each other. We have strengths and weaknesses and it's usually the weaknesses we must tolerate to keep the divorce at bay. By learning this important lesson, my odds of another failed marriage would drop drastically, though there's still risk as life is still unpredictable.

    This is the case for everything in life. We must dig deeper than the surface to uncover what went wrong. A failed business might have us look at our cash flow and business plan. Failing a course might have us look at our routines, habits and our attitude towards learning. When we can dig deeper and find out the real reasons as to why the unfavorable outcome happened, we become better suited to tackle future challenges. That's how we learn in life and how we can strive to reach the stars!

 

 

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