Welcome to the Anxiety Forum - A Home for Those with Anxiety, Fear, or Panic Attacks.
Page 11 of 17 FirstFirst ... 910111213 ... LastLast
Results 101 to 110 of 166
  1. #101
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    179
    -Instinct 4-

    In the last entry, I basically described a situation I see if we rely solely on logic during our decision making. To make our dreams come true, we must stand out and be different. Being the social animals we are and believing that numbers represent strength, our logic clearly indicates that being different is unfavorable in various situations and therefore we never take the first step needed to start on the path of making our dreams a reality.

    Therefore, we need instinct or, more specifically, the desire aspect of instinct. Our desires are things that we want and we are often willing to sacrifice a lot for it. It's true that desires make us do terrible things sometimes but logic isn't exactly innocent either. Both desires and logic, if pushed to the extremes, can make people do terrible things so people agree the extremes can be very dangerous.

    For desires, I want to use an example of a young person who has recently gotten his or her driver's license. This person wants a second hand car and, after talking to parents, he or she got into an agreement with the father who is willing to pay half the cost. This person could then find a job and work enough hours to save up enough money. Let's say the job opportunities are few at the moment and a job was found relatively quickly.

    After a month, the person found the job conditions pretty awful. The management cares little about its employees and, whenever something goes wrong, this person is blamed regardless of the truth. Our logical mind most likely tells us to ditch the job since this suffering isn't worth it for the car. It tells us that we can always find another job. The other jobs proved to be no better and logic eventually convinces the person that the car can wait until later.

    With desire, the person won't say no to the car so he or she keeps tolerating the work environment until the money is made. Then, he or she can leave the job for good and gets the car. In addition, the person learns perseverance since lots of things in life won't go our way. Most of us won't find our ideal jobs early on and have to work in poor work conditions. Without perseverance, we won't ever stay at a job long enough to gain experience to ensure better job opportunities.

    Logic sadly tells us to go the easy way out. It's convincing us that no pain is worth it and, with stories of people getting lucky breaks, logic persuades us that this can happen to us as well. At least, the odds of lucky break is higher than pursuing a seemingly impossible dream. This is why logic isn't ideal for all situations and desires can be such a powerful driving force if we are just too stubborn to say no to our dreams!

  2. #102
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    179
    -Instinct 5-

    The desire factor of our instinct can get us to do things other people fear. By trying new things, we learn and, by learning, we improve until we become the person we always wanted. It's true that some people have better instincts than other people. They can differentiate the desires they need and desires they want so their decisions would result in better outcomes.

    If our instincts aren't correct, we might even make terrible mistakes but, as I discussed in the past, mistakes aren't bad things. We cannot grow if we don't learn from mistakes and this is made impossible if we live so safely we avoid mistakes at all costs. Making mistakes also help sharpen our instincts so our judgement improves. In our current society, we can afford mistakes and nothing teaches us faster than experience itself.

    For example, a person might invest all his money into stocks because he wanted to get rich quickly. He heard from others how this stock has a bright future ahead so, without thinking much, he invested everything. When the stock does very poorly, the person loses all his money and might become homeless. This lesson might actually teach him the meaning of never putting all the eggs into one basket, a lesson that couldn't really be taught until he experienced firsthand the losses.

    Do note that going homeless doesn't mean his life ends. In the past, this could end poorly as the wilderness is very unforgiving. Yet, some of our most successful people had experienced some sort of homelessness in their lives. The mistakes we make now often change our lives dramatically but we still have opportunities to claw back up and reach newer heights as a result.

    In life, no one can teach us how to find a balance between instinct and logic. Logic alone won't get us far and instincts take time to be fully developed. Only through making mistakes can we learn and develop our instincts. People believe that instinct is too outdated but the truth is instinct is equally valuable to us since it's a part of what makes us humans.

    I like to see instinct and logic as tools available in our 'life' toolbox. For those working with tools long enough, they know which tool to use for what situation. What we try to achieve in life is knowing our 'life' toolbox so well that we can pick with ease the best tool for the situation. The most successful people have made so many mistakes that they know the best time to use instinct and the best time to use logic without hesitation just as experienced mechanics can select their tools without a second glance.

  3. #103
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    179
    -Role Models-

    Role models can be very important in shaping us. When we are young, we need guidance during our development into adults and advice to help us with our decision making. What role models usually have in common is their success in the eyes of those looking up to them. They don't have to be celebrities but, if they achieve a success we are in awe of, we will look up to them. Of course, role models, like everything else in life, have pros and cons.

    Let's say someone really loves a certain sport and sees a professional athlete in the same sport as a role model. The role model can be powerful inspiration since this person strives to be just like the athlete. This could be the drive to get the person working hard in pursuing their dreams. This is more powerful than simply watching motivational videos where we listen to people from so many different fields.

    If you strive to be a singer and you listen to the talk of a successful entrepreneur, the talk might be less powerful than that came from a professional singer. In this case, it's very unlikely the person would see the entrepreneur as a role model. Therefore, it's rather important when it comes to picking our role models but role models also have a duty when it comes to what they share.

    We all encountered situations where a professional athlete wins a championship for the first time and shares his/her thoughts. What this person talks about can change or destroy dreams. If the person shares the training he/she went through to get to the point, he/she is helping the younger generation by showing them all the hard work behind the scenes that went into this victory. Young people must understand that even these role models didn't get to their position without hard work and dedication.

    The opposite effect can happen if the athlete thanks his/her loved ones and explained the teamwork leading up to that championship victory. There's nothing wrong here except it gives the wrong impression on the young people. If success wasn't found, the young people might make excuses like they lacked family members who supported them and their team wasn't good enough dragging the person down. This could see the person quitting altogether with all these excuses and possibly the idea he/she isn't good enough.

    Role models can be powerful figures but they must be aware of what they should share to help inspire the newer generations. If they don't explain the hard work they had to do like working twice or thrice as hard as others, then they don't paint the complete picture resulting in those looking up to them to only see the fame and money that success brings them.

  4. #104
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    179
    -Role Model 2-

    Last entry I discussed how role models can be very powerful and inspiring if they talked about the difficulties they encountered in their journey to success. Of course, they can also create a false image if they fail to mention this resulting in the opposite effect of making young people give up their dreams. This entry, I want to discuss role models who are using bad behaviors to their advantage.

    For many young generations nowadays, they are struggling more with loneliness due to the introduction of the phones and other things technology offered us. They can text friends and use social media like Twitter and Facebook. The issue here is the lack of contact with an actual person. Sure, we can communicate with other people online and see the likes or replies but these can never replace the face to face talk.

    Our world is changing very rapidly and problems will arise with the introduction of new technology. As our younger generations make full use of what's becoming a norm, they are also putting themselves more at risk with these empty relationships in life. To fight the loneliness that eating them from inside, they try to get attention, fit in and have people say nice things or like their comments online.

    With the desire of getting more attention, they'd naturally turn their attention towards role models who are famous. There are good role models but there are also bad ones. Some of the bad ones might take drugs, commit crimes or do other bad behavior. Yet, their status allow them to get more attention, more famous and more rich. This is not the image we want the younger generation to see.

    For our youngsters, copying the role models could put their lives into a downward spiral. They could go to jail or their lives might be ruined by becoming drug addicts. They don't understand that these things have consequences since their role models do it. That's why it's critical that we have more good role models so younger generations won't be mislead and have regrets for the rest of their lives.

    The false image painted by role models who don't mention difficulties merely done so by oversight. Yet, some role models thrive on making the front page and would do anything regardless of the price they must pay. Our younger generations might not always know who is a good role model and it's up to us adults to help guide them and show them the way to a brighter future!

  5. #105
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    6,877
    I'm 48 and have a paid friend that vists once a week. Only stating that to add to your list of measures and let you know its not just an age related thing. There are many personal helpers and 'mentor' programs about but sadly not enough to counter this problem you are writting about. I agree its a very real problem. Please exscuse my post if considered an intrusion. Just wanted to vouch that mentors also help. As always very well written. Please do keep writing.

  6. #106
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    179
    Quote Originally Posted by Ponder View Post
    I'm 48 and have a paid friend that vists once a week. Only stating that to add to your list of measures and let you know its not just an age related thing. There are many personal helpers and 'mentor' programs about but sadly not enough to counter this problem you are writting about. I agree its a very real problem. Please exscuse my post if considered an intrusion. Just wanted to vouch that mentors also help. As always very well written. Please do keep writing.
    I never see your posts as intrusions because I welcome discussions. I don't have all the answers and discussions will help me see all sides of a topic. Mentors can be huge not only in jobs but for life. We have all of this negative energy spewed out from news and internet so it's easy to get caught up. The introduction of new technology also makes it confusing as to how we should use them. Therefore, we do need times when we need to be helped get back on track.

    -Role Model 3-

    Last two entries, I was talking about role models who are famous. Those who are professional athletes or show up on the front page of newspaper and magazines. Yet, we mustn't overlook the role models who are very close to us and are generally very ordinary. Our parents are exactly those role models and their influence over our lives cannot be underestimated.

    Our parents are the people we interact the most before we go to school. We are the most malleable then because we are just discovering the world and ask lots of questions. Our parents are those who shape our views and our personality through the actions they do and the words they say. We all know the saying monkey see, monkey do. We were monkeys then and like to copy our parents.

    Because parents play such a critical role so early in our development, they serve as role models who can effectively make us who we become for years to come. Let's say parents who are alcoholics or drug addicts. Their kids would assume this is the norm in their world and do what their parents do. After all, who else can tell them what's right and what's wrong when they mostly spend their childhood with these parents?

    What is equally cruel than the example above is single parents. Single parents have it tough raising their kids but most kids cannot develop properly if they lack a mother or a father. They need both role models to teach them how to interact with the same and opposite gender. Lacking one and they lean too far to one end which often gives them a more extreme view of the world. Like everything else in life, there needs to be a balance when it comes to families.

    Good parents can do the exact opposite where they raise children with stronger self-esteem and greater confidence. They teach their kids how to think and not what to think. In addition, they let their children follow their dreams and, if that doesn't pan out, they make it known that the children can return home to where they will always belong. These are naturally tough because parenting is something we learn from experience and no amount of books can explain to us how to deal with each unique case.

    To those parents out there, I know you have it tough with your responsibilities and burdens. Life might have never been kind to you but know that you are the critical factor to the early development of your children. You are their role models when they need guidance the most and your actions have far greater impact than you can imagine. How you raise your children will ultimately see how they fare in this relatively unforgiving world of ours!

  7. #107
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    6,877
    You get parents that live one way and then others that live another. Good and Bad is too absolute with no room to move. A parents ability to guide in this world is limited/dictated (as good and bad) with society holding the reigns in people homes. Is part and parcel to this responsibility that is so often passed onto others without society considering it's place. Roles Models at the top are often used for perception management [selling things] ... for all the win win and success that so many of us get hooked on for life. The best role model is that which we become for ourselves.

    Food for thought.

  8. #108
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    6,877
    Righto ... I actually got some time now:

    Society ought to pull its head in and accept responsibility when it comes to the development of 'it's kids. FACT - Parents are discouraged from staying home to look after their children by way of welfare disincentives. The latter greatly being affect with perception management screened daily (via 'role models') to drive home new stereotypical concepts that deceptively look as if it benefits the 'role' to which is being sold. Truth is that deception is purely to benefit economic growth. Those who dare to live different are painted with a stigmatized brush. Incentives are only given to ensure that both parents our out grinding the mill ('working')with bonuses given to those who hand over their kids! Thus the baby-child-mind-altering-factories are what develops the minds of our kids. It is from within these establishments that new fundamentals are put forth and the next generation comes out with all the answers only to blame all those that came before. Mummy's and Daddy's fault ... if only they lived another way. Imagine where we would be now.

    There's also another side to the coin ... one with two heads. The old bastards that lived in a time where houses and cars where as cheap as chips and no one had to have a science degree in order to push a broom ... that those bastards still now sitting at the top have created a system as I previously mentioned so that we would all turn on each other as we now so typically do, whilst those greedy assholes keep creating products that their well chosen models/idols tell us all that we should consume; lest we come from families that fall short of those baby-child-mind-altering-factories. God Forbid!

    What ever way you look at it, I'm learning the only thing that really counts - is doing my best to accept responsibility for myself. More over think for oneself. This is especially the case when it comes to today's 'role models'. I do my best to be a role model for myself. Investing ones belief in another is fraught with all kinds of issues - codependency being a major one. Nothing worse than learning that Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny are not real. So it can be with many of these fictional characters (famous ones too) so often groomed for the selling ... the selling of goods and ideals. Be wary of what stereotypical garbage you adopt ... because before you know it you too will end up tared with a very cold, bitter and judgmental brush.

    Dare to be different - become your own idol, become your own model. Stop blaming others and just do what you feel is right for you. Above all ... forget that shit they taught you at school!
    Last edited by Ponder; 09-10-2017 at 08:26 PM.

  9. #109
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    179
    Quote Originally Posted by Ponder View Post
    You get parents that live one way and then others that live another. Good and Bad is too absolute with no room to move. A parents ability to guide in this world is limited/dictated (as good and bad) with society holding the reigns in people homes. Is part and parcel to this responsibility that is so often passed onto others without society considering it's place. Roles Models at the top are often used for perception management [selling things] ... for all the win win and success that so many of us get hooked on for life. The best role model is that which we become for ourselves.

    Food for thought.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ponder View Post
    Righto ... I actually got some time now:

    Society ought to pull its head in and accept responsibility when it comes to the development of 'it's kids. FACT - Parents are discouraged from staying home to look after their children by way of welfare disincentives. The latter greatly being affect with perception management screened daily (via 'role models') to drive home new stereotypical concepts that deceptively look as if it benefits the 'role' to which is being sold. Truth is that deception is purely to benefit economic growth. Those who dare to live different are painted with a stigmatized brush. Incentives are only given to ensure that both parents our out grinding the mill ('working')with bonuses given to those who hand over their kids! Thus the baby-child-mind-altering-factories are what develops the minds of our kids. It is from within these establishments that new fundamentals are put forth and the next generation comes out with all the answers only to blame all those that came before. Mummy's and Daddy's fault ... if only they lived another way. Imagine where we would be now.

    There's also another side to the coin ... one with two heads. The old bastards that lived in a time where houses and cars where as cheap as chips and no one had to have a science degree in order to push a broom ... that those bastards still now sitting at the top have created a system as I previously mentioned so that we would all turn on each other as we now so typically do, whilst those greedy assholes keep creating products that their well chosen models/idols tell us all that we should consume; lest we come from families that fall short of those baby-child-mind-altering-factories. God Forbid!

    What ever way you look at it, I'm learning the only thing that really counts - is doing my best to accept responsibility for myself. More over think for oneself. This is especially the case when it comes to today's 'role models'. I do my best to be a role model for myself. Investing ones belief in another is fraught with all kinds of issues - codependency being a major one. Nothing worse than learning that Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny are not real. So it can be with many of these fictional characters (famous ones too) so often groomed for the selling ... the selling of goods and ideals. Be wary of what stereotypical garbage you adopt ... because before you know it you too will end up tared with a very cold, bitter and judgmental brush.

    Dare to be different - become your own idol, become your own model. Stop blaming others and just do what you feel is right for you. Above all ... forget that shit they taught you at school!
    I have certain views with parents and this topic can take a few entries. One thing I honestly believe is that having a child doesn't make people parents. That's the issue with so many people where they have children because society expect them to. Yet, they cannot afford to have children and cannot take good care of them. It's another mess altogether which ties into the "parents" you talk about above.

    I still believe having other people as role models is important. How people pick their role model is a different matter. If kids are uninformed and taught what to think, they'll make the wrong choices. I agree that schools nowadays are absolutely worthless and I'll get to that in a future topic. Education is still important and we need to teach what truly matters, not what society wants people to think.

    Overall, it's quite a complicated matter. Kids deserve real parents and a proper education that isn't provided by our schools. I guess that's partially why I do these entries. They help me sort through the mess and see where I actually stand.

    Thanks for sharing!

  10. #110
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    179
    -Role Model 4-

    Even if we have great role models, we must keep one thing in mind. We are all unique with our own sets of strengths and weaknesses. No two people are the same and we should accept that knowing that our uniqueness could mean greatness. Yet, we risk the same trap we'd face if we were too busy pleasing others or meeting other people's expectations. We mustn't become somebody we're not and regret it later in life as we notice too late that our life was actually empty.

    When we strive to be like our role models, we run the risks of trying to be just like them. For a professional athlete, we might want to join the same team and have similar feats. It's true that we have role models to help guide us in the path ahead of us. There's a lot of uncertainty and, for the younger generation, they need some help getting their bearings in a world filled with so many opportunities. In a world where technology is changing so rapidly, it can be tough adapting to a society that is never the same every year.

    It's true that we can only truly learn through experience but role models help give us a dream. They are what we want to become eventually, though we should remain unique ourselves. None of our paths can ever be the same. We start in a different environment, encounter different people along the way and can still end up at a similar destination. This is what makes our lives so incredible. We can take so many different paths to reach a similar dream and the path is unique to only us. Yet, this dream can never be possible without us having a role model who has already reached the success we want for ourselves one day.

    When we reached our dreams, the path we took changes who we are. We might be a completely different person than that at the start of the journey since experiences and people we encounter will shape us. This is why it's so vital to pick good role models. They don't necessarily make the journey easier but they help us get start earlier. We have so much fear regarding the uncertainty that we doubt ourselves. The role models show what's possible and that's a confirmation we need to do what we originally saw as impossible in ourselves. Even better, some role models show that the impossible can be possible too.

    Role models are a start and they might stay us for the rest of our journey. Yet, they aren't the destination we should strive for because they don't know who we are and what we must overcome to reach the dream. We can listen to their story and study what happened in their lives. Yet, none of those events will happen to us and even similar ones might not happen at roughly the same time or order. We still have to travel the rest of the journey on our own strength and no one, not even our role models, can be there to get us through the challenges.

 

 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •