Almost went to the hospital again

[willheal]

New sensation, the story in my head quickly built up into something awful. In the course of less than a minute my healthy resting heart rate of 65 jumped to 160.

I paced, I talked myself down, held a Xanax under my tongue. < 10 minutes later my heart rate is 99 and dropping. My mind is still playing games with me still but I'm mostly OK.

Relieved that I didn't end up spending another damn day in the hospital, but at the same time I'm getting so frustrated with myself and everything. What a crappy way to live. I shouldn't be thinking about this all the time. I don't want to feel like a ticking time bomb

[gypsylee]

Hi Will,

65-160 is pretty fierce. Was it a physical sensation that caused the story in your head? Or just a story in your head?

[willheal]

It seems to be reflexive. Doctors have told me that I seem to have an unusually strong sympathetic response from some combo of Panic disorder, PTSD, or GAD. They keep doing the thyroid test because of how severe my panic attacks are but all my numbers come back fine. One doctor (who only saw me once) said it could be reentrant tachycardia and ordered an invasive test, which I'm getting a second opinion on tomorrow because he's the first to mention it and I kinda don't want probes in me because so many other doctors haven't thought this.

I did the holter monitor a while back and the EP said that I wasn't at risk for anything, just get my anxiety under control, trust the doctors, and work out more. I'm slim but the actual physical exertion seems to calm me in the long term. I just need to move past it triggering my anxiety for the first 20 minutes. I've done 20+ mile hikes and stuff since this started.

This whole saga was following a night of drinking a few years ago and probably severe dehydration that sent me to the hospital where I went into an actual arrhythmia, which hasn't been caught since, but sometimes it feels like something funky is going on. I don't drink anymore but my focus is still on my heart. I should also note I've had anxiety my whole life as a little kid. Before the heart thing it was something else, before that it was yada-yada. There's no history of heart/EP issues in my family so I shouldn't worry, I just think in the moment when I feel something foreign and unsettling and it makes me get up and dart out of my room.

Of course, they said the correlation can go both ways (as in something is triggering my anxiety and not vice-versa) so I'm still getting it checked out. My family has a history of being old & anxious people, but no heart stuff, so here's hoping :/

[gypsylee]

Ok, so it's a bit of a chicken & egg scenario? My resting heart rate is around 75 now and I remember at the height of my alcoholism it was at around 140, so yeah 65-160 would be nasty.

Interesting about the thyroid because I do have a thyroid problem (which I take hormones for). I don't think it's the main cause of my anxiety though because I've been anxious my whole life like you.

Good idea getting a second opinion on the tachycardia test. My dad is in his 70s, with a family history of heart problems and he recently had some issue which they picked up when he was giving blood. Pretty sure he didn't need any invasive tests and apparently his heart is ok. It's one tough muscle!

Good luck and let us know how you're doing

[littlestarsmum]

I’m so sorry to hear about your struggles, friend. I know how difficult and frustrating it must be for you to go through this. I just said a prayer for you, and I hope that God will provide the strength and help you need at this time. It’s good that you’re getting second opinion. Please do keep updating. Sending hugs & wishing you well!

[willheal]

Thank you both so much, I really appreciate the support!

Whatever prayer you said worked! Doctor confirmed what I suspected & anxiety is driving everything. He said there's no reason to do the invasive testing, but he's gonna basically dope me up on benzos for a while to see if my symptoms go away. He used the phrase "you're at 0 risk. Don't worry."

The remaining questions are: why is my anxiety disorder so bad? and: why is my mind working at 500% speed? because it's pushing my body to try and keep up.

I seem to be an outlier, but he says some people are just like this and live long healthy lives, so I was told to just focus on managing my anxiety

[gypsylee]

Eh, there's worse things than being doped up on benzos

I'm like that as well and I get it from my mother (genetically and environmentally). It can be really debilitating but it's also a creative, imaginative thing.. It's a matter of getting it under control and harnessing the energy basically. I've been trying to practice Mindfulness, which is part of getting the anxiety under control and generally just a really useful skill. It's like any skill though and you have to learn and practice - which I suck at, but I've been doing diaphragmatic breathing for a few years now so I just have to practice focusing on it more. I'm reading a book by Ruby Wax at the moment on Cognitive Based Mindfulness Therapy.

Anyway, great news Now you can just concentrate on being one of us anxious folk

[Anne1221]

The remaining questions are: why is my anxiety disorder so bad? and: why is my mind working at 500% speed? because it's pushing my body to try and keep up.

I seem to be an outlier, but he says some people are just like this and live long healthy lives, so I was told to just focus on managing my anxiety.

Will, you are SO not alone. Right now this forum is quiet, but in it's heyday I learned that many, many people suffer from debilitating, crippling anxiety. Right here you have you, Gypsy and me with the same story: come from families with lots of anxiety, suffered from anxiety our whole lives, it has a big hold on us, etc etc

The key is each person has to learn the best way to manage it.

The one good part of your story, I hope you can appreciate, is that I don't hear you speak of horrific depression. I have read many posts from people who have both, but as for me, depression is much worse. My main problem is anxiety and I just manage it the best I can!