Going out and being around people is exhausting as I have to put on a fake smile. I'm becoming even more reclusive and I don't like it.
Going out and being around people is exhausting as I have to put on a fake smile. I'm becoming even more reclusive and I don't like it.
Hi Salvator
Yeah I'm ok. This was just an idea I had - a thread where people can be as depressed as they like. A pity party if you will! This is not the actual thread though *insane laugh* but it can be until I make the real "I Feel Like Shit" thread.
Don't mind me. It's that time of the month so I let myself fester in bed LOL and woke up an hour ago after a pretty horrible dream. Not like ghosts or monsters or killing or anything, just my subconscious feelings of BETRAYAL. Maybe the pity party can even include the crappy dreams we have! Carl Jung referred to dreams as something like "the royal road to the unconscious". I used to type mine when I was in my 20s and I remember the file got to 25,000 words haha. I also went to this workshop once run by a woman whose husband was killed in a car accident.. She was suicidal with grief and thinking about taking her two children with her. It was her dreams that helped her work through her emotions though (she might have been in some dream analysis group but I can't remember because this was 20 years ago).
Anyway, good to hear from you. I'm pretty reclusive as well and spend most of my time reading books, writing emails, feeding semi-wild animals and sleeping Right now there's a cockatoo on the table outside my window waiting for his sunflower seeds!
Take it easy..
Gypsy x
"You're the worst thing that ever happened to me." --Marla Singer
Since this thread is about expressing negative thoughts, I'll say what sometimes bothers me is that I used to work with a mental health worker years ago who kept ramming his opinion down my throat that I should do this, this, and this.
It irritates me still because I have the right to have a big say when it comes to my treatment. But I never told him that. I didn't stand up for myself enough while working with him. I wish I had.
I just saw this on Facebook and it's a concept that I think is really important (and not well understood/used) and kind of what I'm getting at with this idea. I joke about it being a "pity party" but my more serious intention is this idea of "holding space":
https://fractalenlightenment.com/381...e-how-its-done
"You're the worst thing that ever happened to me." --Marla Singer
I like this idea, there is societal pressure to keep your feelings to yourself and not feel too sorry for ourselves, but that doesn't stop the feelings from occurring. Better to let them out among people who understand.
I have been going through a weird phase. Not so much anxiety, but just increasing self loathing. I am very overweight and trying to lose weight and get healthier. I am on the path but after the last surge of weight gain I fear I will have loose skin in my stomach and thighs. The last time I lost a lot of weight I hadn't been as big so my skin just contracted as I lost weight. It is what it is but I just find myself getting so angry and hateful towards myself for letting myself go. Then my brain keeps dredging up all the embarrassing moments I have ever had in my life, every time I felt small and inferior (yes...I remember them all lol), as if they were happening to me again. Like, wtf!?! I also have to stay away from the news and I avoid emotional vampires like the plague. Probably the main reason I don't share all my negative feelings with anyone is that I don't want to be an emotional vampire, they suck (hehe).
But don't worry, the anxiety is still lurking...last night I found a chip in the paint of my brand new car and just about lost my mind. So now I am back to the old freaking out over trivial things that aren't the end of the world but it still feels like it omg I'm going to have another crying jag...must be Tuesday.
Hiya aml
I'm just bumping this up.
I'm reading another book about acceptance which really seems to be the key to dealing with anxiety (and all negative feelings).
Here's a link and summary:
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1...cal_Acceptance
“Believing that something is wrong with us is a deep and tenacious suffering,” says Tara Brach at the start of this illuminating book. This suffering emerges in crippling self-judgments and conflicts in our relationships, in addictions and perfectionism, in loneliness and overwork--all the forces that keep our lives constricted and unfulfilled. Radical Acceptance offers a path to freedom, including the day-to-day practical guidance developed over Dr. Brach’s twenty years of work with therapy clients and Buddhist students.
"You're the worst thing that ever happened to me." --Marla Singer
Thanks gypsy I'll check that out. The underlying low self worth is really what drives my anxiety. Otherwise it would be just like any medical condition that I would need to deal with.
Le bump...
I have a headache. Think we've got a storm comin'.