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  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Location
    New York, USA
    Posts
    20

    "There are people worse off than you are"

    Sometimes I get really worried that I'm not actually changing anything and staying in a circle of self-pity for my whole life. I was looking through Pinterest and found a post where they had those relatable texts (I don't know what they're called) that had stuff like "that moment when you dread the next day" and anxiety related stuff, but below each one was a picture of soldiers and stuff like that. The person comments at the end that "there are people worse off than you" and I just started crying nonstop. I've always hated that phrase and it just makes me feel like a selfish prick for acting the way I do.
    I cry all the time and I hate getting up in the morning even if nothing bad is going to happen. I never smile and barely talk to other people, and I complain so much to my therapist. In fact, the only thing I ever do is complain. It makes me think about the little impact I've had on the world and how much time I waste just surfing the internet and whining about unimportant bullshit. I could be volunteering, or helping the homeless, or doing ANYTHING, but all my time is wasted on nothing.
    It amazes me that people still bother to stick around me if I haven't even contributed anything to their lives. I am selfish, why do you want to get anywhere near me???? It almost makes me want to push them away so that I don't end up wasting their time. I'm just going to be a drain on your resources and I won't bother helping out because I "don't feel like it right now." You KNOW that I don't like to go outside, so why are you bothering to do things with me? Even when I try to act like a normal person one think can tick me off and send my into a bad mood for the entire day.
    Even when I am writing this right now I am realizing more and more as to how awful of a person I am, not even by comparing myself to a soldier but to a REGULAR PERSON.
    What normal person is this socially stupid? Even people with terrible mental problems have compassion and a desire to help others, but all I care about is getting away from other people. I just close myself off and isolate myself for no reason. I just cry and cry and cry and never do anything for anyone else. I don't even change after all this time, after acknowledging how terrible I am as a human being and even now looking and pointing out what I am doing wrong, nothing changes.
    I think that the only reason people don't change is because they don't want to change, so I think that deep down inside I don't want to change either. It might be because I am stubborn and refuse to budge until someone acknowledges the "pain" and "suffering" I've gone through or some dumb crap like that. I wouldn't be surprised, I am known to be a huge drama queen. Sometimes I wish that changing my personality was as easy as pressing a button, because I know exactly what I would do. I'd just make myself a hardworking person that cares more about others than themselves. Someone that would stay up all night to do their work and never complained a day in their life. Someone that would practically serve the people around them as if they were kings and always put others first so that they could feel cared about. In the end, I'm nothing like that. I don't have that level of compassion, or caring, or ambition, or anything.
    I'm just a slob of a human being that drops responsibilities as soon as it gets too tough and can't remember "please" and "thank you." If I was my own mother I would have kicked myself out of the house already.
    When I looked back at the post saying "there are people worse off than you", my immediate reaction was to go up against it and why that isn't fair to say, but how can you argue against that? There are people worse off than you, and many are doing much more than you ever could. How the hell can you sit there and complain when others don't even though they have every right to? What does that say about you?

    ...I don't know. I just wish I knew what do with myself anymore. Funny thing was that I was actually really motivated to start drawing again, but here I am, wasting more time.

    How do you escape this?

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    Málaga, Spain
    Posts
    139
    Hi Blue!

    Well actually thinking that there are people worse than you, makes you not be selfish bc
    u think that other got it worse than you. I always complain too but i dont change
    either, i do nothing about my illneses and dont study how i sould be doing.
    Well im just getting tru and wait i guess.
    I think too about how people got it worse like, they cant see, walk, move, etc.
    And i hate myself for complaining about little anxiety, but then i remember
    even dough other people got it worse, it doesnt make my issue less important
    and it helps me to carry on.
    Stay strong there's nothing wrong.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Posts
    3,442
    Hey there

    You escape it by getting involved with something you feel strongly about. There is so much wrong with the world atm it's unbelievable and there are so many things that need changing. It's easy to feel powerless and hopeless but just the act of compassion releases chemicals that make you feel good. It's part of an upward spiral. So if you're on Facebook or whatever, find something you care about and get involved. Even if it's just signing a petition and sharing it, every small thing makes a difference.

    Cheers,
    Gypsy x

    Also, gratitude for what you do have is a great practice. Humans are sort of hard-wired to look for the negative so you have to consciously make an effort to acknowledge the positive. It actually releases serotonin apparently, so it's another part of the upward spiral
    Last edited by gypsylee; 03-18-2017 at 05:42 PM.
    "..We are told no, we're unimportant, we're peripheral. 'Get a degree, get a job, get a this, get a that.' And then you're a player, but you don't want to even play in that game. You want to reclaim your mind and get it out of the hands of the cultural engineers who want to turn you into a half-baked moron consuming all this trash that's being manufactured out of the bones of a dying world." --Terence McKenna

  4. #4
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    61
    Change requires a certain level of bravery... our fears keep us stuck... it's difficult to imagine a future without our fears because that just freaks us out and keeps us stuck!

    It helps me to realise that my fears are not my choise, they are not of my making... I either inherited them or they were instilled into me when I was young.

    This breaks the guilt association... I stop blaming myself for my fear actions... and I am also more empathetic to those whose poor behaviour is driven by their fears.

    There is a very powerful yet simple process that dissovles fear... but you have to be willing to try it... would you be willing to try it on a small fear?

 

 

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