One last entry ... have no idea ... but going to bed with this one. I figured the white coat perspective needed balancing.
See what happens : )
Welcome to the Anxiety Forum - A Home for Those with Anxiety, Fear, or Panic Attacks.
One last entry ... have no idea ... but going to bed with this one. I figured the white coat perspective needed balancing.
See what happens : )
I actually lasted longer than I thought I would taking that in as I drifted off to sleep. The whole thing about soul mates and the gender focus I find as limiting as our human bodies. Ihmo (which is always open to change) - My time here and thus experience and perspective has shown me that if we wish to fine tune our bodies like antennas to better transmit and receive; we need to get past this monogamous existence and expand our perceptions beyond our current understanding of gender base relations. Other aspects to this presentations that sounded off pitch for me, was the focus on manifestation as it relations to the 'LAW' of Attraction where today self -ish Intents plague our society in as much as people caught up in the marketing and entertaining of romance and likewise drama related 24/7 moments. So it is those blissful notions of soul mates and gender based relations combined with manifesting one's desires misses the mark for me. The latter has it's place in my book, however the context for me is not aligned as presented here; minus the bliss, romance and drama.
What did resonate for me was pretty much everything else. (I think as I did fall to sleep) Although I will have to watch this again as this deserves much more attention than me listening to it in my bed. Emotion surely does seem to play a big part and I learned a lot more about the role of the heart! I know I have suffered a LOT of brain damage due to a life long bout of clinical/Major Depression and a number of other certified mental instabilities. However I have adopted a lot of the concepts presented in this video to great effect at repairing and salvaging what it left. Belief is a powerful thing only if I allow it to change from one moment to the next according to how my inner world sits and feels with what's going on and or being said.
The whole thing with Bio Electric Fields is spot on for me. Whilst I don't play into the limiting romance and drama that sells books and plays to the limited parts of our hearts (a very short lived experience bound for suffering) I do believe the concept for attraction as well as 'repelling' speaks volumes as to how we are all so easily controlled ... as well as to the dynamics of healing. In fact there are many dynamics how this key aspect to our humanity can be used for both healing and suffering. Especially living is a world as toxic and counter intuitive to bodies so reliant/affected on and by electric fields. There seems to be more going against us in the way of technology, overpopulation, the amount and type of radiation emanating from both devices, people, and the planet.
Nevertheless, an understanding on how we tick and where our focus should really be is something for us all to self reflect in order to make sense of the chaos currently being lived out in this physical world where no matter one's reality/s; this being the realm where we all live and breathe. Perhaps this existence is no more than a school in which to learn how to adjust our antennas for places of higher existence - to learn the lessons derived from our current limited state of desires and shells.
Last edited by Ponder; 10-14-2017 at 04:02 PM.
'AST - ACCEPTANCE STRESS THERAPY - How to Grow Under Stress!'
Not liking Star Trek Discovery at all (I thought enterprise *&^$ed things up enough then this? Back flip like StarGate universe which did get better, but then like Battle Star Galactic which barely saved itself in the end.) Each to their of own of course. Just not my luck the last two times around.
I am looking forward to Game of Thrones whenever it's coming back on.
I post this one for a bit of motivation: I like the characters this guy plays. Seen a lot of him now:
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Edit → this is a good YouTube review on Star Trek Discovery with the ending I thought to be a fair observation. Good if your into that sort of thing. Not exactly the Star Fleet material I have come to know in Star Trek. [But then I am a cranky old bastard that does not like change. ... not that cranky ... really.
Hope it gets a little better like star gate universe did ... but then they axed that one all together after that.
Last edited by Ponder; 10-16-2017 at 06:02 AM.
Today's Medication Regime is as follows:
1. This morning I took a run around the block.
2. Mid morning I will take a psycho solicitation ← Edit ... Socialization [helps to spell hey
3. Lunch I take a Psyco Therapy session
4. & 6 hours before bed I will take another run around the block
Side Effects ... Good Health & Nothing a good stretch can't fix.
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Additional Meditations to follow.
Last edited by Ponder; 10-19-2017 at 01:48 AM.
If you want to take meds, then take them. If you don't then don't. Whatever you do ... YOU be the judge of what it is that you want to do. I'm throwing that one out there because there are a lot of people who prescribe to methods that work for them, but then go around telling others that they should be doing the same as them. Alcohol and Drugs are on top of that list with medication on par with that followed with eating processed foods and or junk. Living clean is the radical way of living these days counter to the claims of industrialized health fads and all that. Spiritualism is pretty much the same.
If I have something to say about my radical take on dealing with my baggage I pretty much keep it in here because I know going elsewhere to tell others they "should" take my meds is like pissing in the wind. Whatever works right. You know if it's working or not ... taking something you no is not right is also pissing in the wind. lol That's why for me I no longer take meds. I know for me ... their use required upping the dose which in turn meant I needed more meds to counter exasperation of current and new conditions ... again pissing in the wind. If I was not pissing in the wind, I was just kidding myself ... hence telling others just like me, what they should or should not!!! ... yadda yadda ... you get the drift.
Sigh ... Just got back from an intense cycle ride. Sadly I buckled my wheel slightly going full speed down a main road then suddenly off track through a wet paddock onto a dirt track which made for both a short cut and scenic ride. Just as well it's only a $20.00 Bike
I don't fucking know ... I just pretend I do. I've been Med Free for nearly 3 Years Now!
Fact is WE don't need medication to overcome these self manufactured conditions. WE? Who the fuck is WE? What's good for the goose is good for the Ganda. If your looking to take control of your life and sick of tacking fucking medication and listening to others preaching and telling you what you should or should not do ... then start making decisions for yourself. Try something else. Obviously if they are working, then you would not be so fearful of taking them ... right? If there doing what their suppose to be doing, then I guess there is no need to fear em. Just don't go about begging the question inviting others who solely rely on them to make decisions that you ought to be making. IN a heart beat just like any Junky hooked on whatever, you can be sure they will tell you, you NEED them!
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Moving On. What's next? I have not eaten MEAT for months (and several before that!) and seem to be doing alright? Yet another BS Myth. Seriously ... you got to try things for yourself. It really is liberating. Alas ... the world is shit. I'm better it matters not how fucking clean you live and how intentionally pure you wish to be ... the world will still lob up a pile of shit on your front door from time to time. It's just that we are taught to take the quick fix ... whatever the fuck that be for you, me that guy and gall next door. The more dependent you become on passing up challenges the more disable we be. Although not everything need be a challenge. That clinical message is getting old down at the centre ... although I can still see merit in it's origin.
Hmmmmm ....
I've learned 6 phases of 10 ... or a number of bars withing on long breath for 6 long breaths on my flute. Looking forward to sharing that mediation breathing exercise. Is pretty cool how I am learning a tune at the same time.
OH YEA ... I discovered the Music Group was not for me.
That's a story in itself ... I go make a cuppa, have a shower and settle down for that one.
First though ... you got to take all that other shit I said with a grain of salt. Fact is I am regarded well enough with plenty of likewise peers who take meds and I respect them as much as I claim they of me. The take home message is just make your own decisions as well as don't kid yourself. I'm all for whatever works ... but I'm not for prescribing meds in forums like these. You would do better to self diagnose with Google as opposed to using forums like these; not to mention the doctors themselves are just as bias. ... trial whatever yourself and you be the judge. Sadly ... unless you detox, you'll never know whats really affecting what and thus what's ailing, what's working and what's not. How bad you do you really want to know?
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I'm betting once I am done with the shower, I may not be back. It's been a good couple of days off the net though. Sigh ... Emptying the head to a point no body knows or one in which I relly care less what others think.
Adios until next post.
Perhaps I look like I should take meds ... but happy I can goof around without them:
Don't BS a Bullshitter ... If I had my other hand free, I would sick it in my other ear and poke out me tongue. : )
Whatever the fuck works ... This works for me! Sadly people prefer us to be anxious and depressed ... else they wonder what the fuck we are on. lmao @ that one. NOTHING ... but Oh How they want to either tell my I should or rather make it a prerequisite that I must. Compliance is such a BS term ... active in recovery without chemical stimulants ... "OH He is one of those ... right ???????" Stigma used to be having mental illness ... now it's being med free. Is OK ... SHHHH ... just keep reading. I'll keep journaling what works for me ...until such a time ... it all clicks and this little fairy really does end up free.
... and you thought you had problems ... lol
Back soon enough.
Last edited by Ponder; 10-19-2017 at 03:17 AM.
Speaking of music I would do well to play some. So here's the thing. My choice of music is not main stream enough to fit in with your average get-together jamming crowed down at your local head case centre. I went twice and twice it just did not feel right. Other than skipping the chorus like an atypical dyslexic reading text that had about as much appeal for a vegan reading a meat eaters menu, so it was for I, as I attempted to follow the chords and lyrics up and down the pages to be followed as we all played and did our thing.
The first week I used an egg shaker then did some guitar. I did not attend but for the last 20 minutes due to the extreme and eradic noise. This time I started with guitar but then resorted to the egg shaker which I put aside due to a few contorted looks at the suggestion to even make it an event. I copped a few looks earlier as to missing the words but was encouraged to keep playing a beat. I was like ... "is all good ... this remind my of church and how I struggle with what words where to be sung next ... bla bla and dyslexia and so on and on ... all good" Fact was it was not. The whole praise and worship mentality came flooding back. That mentality is not something easily understood by those not accustomed to extreme radical practices back in a day where such was not the fad it's so clearly become today. Long story short ... I began to realise - no wonder I don't like music that's accompanied by lyrics of any kind. So affected by the 'charismatic fellowship mentality' that I can no longer stand 'any' gathering that banters like so. Long story short ... the facilitators wanted to know "what can we do about that Dave?" "Nothing" I replied. I'm into a different angle with music is all. Your method is not something that works for all. What works for me ... once again ... is not so readily available by way of groups. Seems to be a regular pattern with me. Main Streaming no longer cuts it for me.
SO ... what to do. Groups attendance need not always be the thing when it comes to music and healing. I've been doing more than enough groups to get my fill and now that I think about it, I may do well to try something else. I'm starting to wonder if hanging full time at the mental health centre is as limiting as say continually hanging in a place like this? Hmmmmmm - I've been warned before by another who suggested that hanging in a room with a label on the door can be a setback in itself ... although I would reason that depends on how rigid is in the way they look. Not sure I see Anxiety of the door when I come to this place ... At the moment and up till now ... I see that I have been accepted as is. The latter being a very VERY positive enabling and welcoming attribute that's made this place work for me. Touch wood is continues to last. No matter if not. All good things come to an end. In fact part of my purpose is in learning to deal with just that.
So ... The flute and I will remain solitude friends. I'd love to have others to play with and or share the joy and discovery of just how easy it is to play. Sadly there are no flute circles here and the ones I have found near are hundreds of kms away and use a church based language with terms like "fellowship, Christmas, Lord and so on" which is completely the opposite of why I play.
I think the difficulty is that with many of the alternative methods that are making head way in this otherwise counter productive mainstream degenerate self perpetuating revolving door clinical models ... is that they are pretty much privatized and caught up an economical model that is as limited to that of the clinical. Until such a time where more of us that can not afford to access these communal fads that look more like well being, well to do spiritualists types that are a cut above our mere status and or means ... we will in all likelihood never evolve as a collective ... but for ever remain separate as seems to be the driving force of our societies way. Unless of course we are content to find our own way. Can We ... So often we are told that we do not have the power unless we get if from someone else. Hmmm ... I'm in two minds about that. We do in fact have the power within, but then I am at that point I am now looking for others who think like me. I don't think it's going to happen in this forum or even down at the head center where I have been going. Yet ... there is a sense of unraveling in caring less and just reverting back to my ways of old ... in regards to just being as is ... being kind and compassionate to self. Alas ... back to the real purpose of journaling point blank.
Hmmmm ... cool ... sounds good enough. Life is too short, yet still long. Guess it depends on where one looks.
OK ... time to watch a vid that a friend linked to me.
Adios Until next post.
Last edited by Ponder; 10-19-2017 at 04:30 AM.
Looks like a good watch - short and straight to the point. The Text to speech a bit much for some (My friend complained ... lol) but is actaully right down my alley!
Man ... My natural Therapy is Kicking IN ... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Here's to a good nights rest, a killer morning stretch and then out the door for a relaxing trot OR meditative walk; up to my body to decide. ... Night night ---
Vlog Entry ... Flute Therapy + the Usual Ramble:
I've been making some good gains of late with respect to my spiritual seekings however as indicated recently in this thread and vlog update I am struggling with the focus a lot of people are putting into the so call sexual energy aspect of their spirituality. I guess the conflict I have come to first in this regard is the identity crisis that comes with either being Male or Female. I came across the following which makes a lot of sense to me:
Eckhart Tolle. Spirituality, gender, sexuality, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, non binary.
That deals more with the gender side of things ... I wanted to hear more about what I consider to be a limitation when it comes to our body's desire for Sex as it relates to spiritual growth. The following kind of spelled out just how I have been feeling on the issue then the closing statement was kind of like hitting the nail on the head as to how in our western culture we are so enslaved to the extent we go to satisfy our egos:
Take it or leave it. I still struggle with the body big time myself, but I'm reaching a point I am just over being a slave to it. In fact ... this video made me think just how much I can become a slave to eating clean and or the vigilance I at times catch myself putting into my routine. None the less there is a balance to that in the way of discipline that's more healthy than not.
I'm just on a mission at the moment to demystify the importance of sex as it relates to spiritual growth. The more I look into it, the more I can see it's just yet another limiting factor to be overcome like all other things ego related. It's all in the vid. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Night Night ... Sweet Dreams. In fact my dreams have been leading me to much of these topics of late.
Last edited by Ponder; 10-20-2017 at 04:50 AM.
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