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  1. #21
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    _______
    Halfway point of today's walk.




    Got a good dose of sun whilst walking into town. The temps are cooling now. Down around 26 to 27 degree Celsius at the hottest part of the day. Nice breeze about the place that offers up ocean air when going the right way at the right times. Over all - It was a good walk long walk with a break half way. It reminded me of why I was doing two long walks a day. Definitely going to have to do more walking.

    Back to taking photos and journaling again. Part of the cycle that works so well for me. Speaking about cycles! The above photo I took with my little shity phone and as usual processed back at home. I think it captures well the haze I am coming out of. The bikes are lined up in the front of a shed with two cars parked either side.

    The bikes are going to be part of a project for the men's group I attend. Profits made from the sale of refurbished bikes will go back into the project - possibly fund a day out or some other activity. I think it will be a welcome distraction for me and also motivation to get back on a bike myself. I never really got on my last one as much as I would of liked:



    Knowing me ... there's a high chance I'd become a rural road statistic. Too much traffic - but still very tempting all the same. The above shot taken a few years ago and uploaded in one of my old threads. I think I will propose a bush walking day every so often with anyone interested next time I'm in group.
    __________________________________________________ ____________________

    Was contacted today about the possibility of a job in the near future. I'm only considering it because the proposal comes from an old friend that I can trust. Something to ponder on later I guess.

    Good day in all ... I'm guessing tonight I will sleep easy. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
    "...the cost of sanity in this society is a certain level of alienation" ~ Terrance McKenna → https://pondermovedhere.blogspot.com/

  2. #22
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    I stay up late installing editing software. Still setting up the new laptop. Here is a screen recording of the game that spurred me on to upgrade:



    Details of the recording in the description. (was very hard to reflect the quality I experience without recording - none the less it does show the city running smoothly enough) I was just messing around with learning how you just use the mouse to navigate whilst recording. Once I optimize the settings I'll show case the game a little better. Great game for a distraction. Nice change from rampaging the streets with a gun in hand. I just downloaded a saved game off the net. I find the city presented too noisy for my liking. Will find some more peaceful scenarios or create my own to share.

    ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
    Last edited by Ponder; 04-13-2017 at 02:41 PM.
    "...the cost of sanity in this society is a certain level of alienation" ~ Terrance McKenna → https://pondermovedhere.blogspot.com/

  3. #23
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    Here's a blast from the past. I remember spending big $$$ to get a video card to play this game. 8MB and then when I could afford it 16MB 3D Accelerated GL / VOODOO and so on.


    Playing on steam with a friend using Skype. Kept this one low res for a quicker upload. Sadly my friends ping really sucked. I was too focused on the game making up for my own shity ping. 220ping was always an everage poing for me. This was the game that helped me adjust to lag.



    Just checking out the latest release now:
    https://epicgames.com/#
    Last edited by Ponder; 04-14-2017 at 12:40 AM.
    "...the cost of sanity in this society is a certain level of alienation" ~ Terrance McKenna → https://pondermovedhere.blogspot.com/

  4. #24
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    Video update

    VIDEO UPDATE. It's been a while since I have done one of these. I've also got to say it was a good decision starting up a new thread with a journaling approach to keeping my mental state in check. It really is a full time job keeping stable this day and age. It's on my mind to apologise if I offend those of you who actually like smoking pot. I kind of go on a bit in my random vid about giving up the weed. In fact I'll probably go on about a lot of stuff that is bound to repel others more than it does to attract. Whilst these presentations are more for myself and not so much about making friends; it's nice to think about how our words might impact others when attempting to share. Bla Bla Rar Rar ...



    SO. Other than what's in the description of above vid, what else am I aiming for or where is it that I'm coming from? I'll just say from the ground up. Hopefully I can keep this series of vids up without feeling the need to delete them ... at least anytime soon. I managed to create a new channel as usual which means I can just leave these ones public. Keeping focused without giving in to the easy way out, is where I feel stability is at.

    - Creating Routine where it wanes at the end of each cycle - Thankfully I have some momentum going from the effort I put in before and pretty much have a self taught preprogramed approach in picking myself back up. Hopefully I can share some of that; at the very least ... keep motivating myself.

    Have a good one guys.
    "...the cost of sanity in this society is a certain level of alienation" ~ Terrance McKenna → https://pondermovedhere.blogspot.com/

  5. #25
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    Later that same day - I did a trailer run - caught up with my daughter and grandson - prepped a few meals and started learning the keys for Epic Game's new release of Unreal Tournament:

    Pre-Alpha



    My run is clumsy compared to this run I found on someone else's channel:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCwBt0zYwAQ
    Last edited by Ponder; 04-15-2017 at 03:05 AM.
    "...the cost of sanity in this society is a certain level of alienation" ~ Terrance McKenna → https://pondermovedhere.blogspot.com/

  6. #26
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    Righto - that's the last of that poison gone. You know how it is these days ... have to consume it all ... even it it kills you. Hopefully tomorrow I can start fresh as suggested in my update vid. My computer tells me it's Easter Sunday tomorrow. I might see how unconditioned I have become by doing a few laps around the hockey oval. I'll be detoxing the next two weeks and mostly walking ... aiming towards a mild exercise program compared to the last 6 months. Food, Sleep, Active Recovery, and working on stress. I think working on family relationships will go a long way to helping as well.

    As for the rest of the world wanting to blow itself up ... all the best to them as well.

    Time for start Trek and hopefully after that and some enforced/smiles relaxation; I may just be able to sleep.
    Last edited by Ponder; 04-15-2017 at 04:55 AM.
    "...the cost of sanity in this society is a certain level of alienation" ~ Terrance McKenna → https://pondermovedhere.blogspot.com/

  7. #27
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    Early to bed Early to rise now mixed in with the walking. Simple but not so easy. I can see now how I let myself slip. Little by little and then a complete cave in with smoking the pot. A very deceptive and complacent mind set that typically resorts to giving in at the first sign of effort and discomfort. Universally speaking this can be any source of quick fix regardless of legal or not.

    Syncing my sleep patterns
    with walking and watching what I eat/consume are pretty much the 3 main keys I use to bouncing back after having let myself go.

    In addition to those 3 main points ... The Transition from one Moment to the Next is a vital component to successfully seeing all key points come together. Something about the way we hold whatever is going on within us as we go from waking up, to walking, to making breakfast and whatever comes next. The way we hold our thoughts, expectations, having expectations, and so on ... the way we hold our fear, loneliness, despair, excitement, ect.

    It's all new again each time for me ... which is why cycles can actually be good when viewed from the right perspective. You don't just learn how to live, receive a certificate and then that's it.

    I'm always fine tuning how to live in this crazy world. I can see how it takes a life time for the important things to sink in.

    Adios ... until next post.
    Last edited by Ponder; 04-16-2017 at 03:53 PM.
    "...the cost of sanity in this society is a certain level of alienation" ~ Terrance McKenna → https://pondermovedhere.blogspot.com/

  8. #28
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    World Of Tanks - I have a hard time with both myself and others bumping into each other. I'm working on it.

    "...the cost of sanity in this society is a certain level of alienation" ~ Terrance McKenna → https://pondermovedhere.blogspot.com/

  9. #29
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    Just a few days in and I'm feeling pretty good. Setting myself a clean routine always does the trick. I have been dealing with a few headaches but that's to be expected after having let myself go. No simple carbs, a reduction in complex ones as well - NO sugar but that which I eat in the odd piece of fruit. I don't juice the fruits anymore as I have discovered for myself the research is valid regarding the healthier aspect of "natural" sugars breaking down with fiber in the gut. I could write pages on what foods work for me and how important customized home processing is for ones own broken anatomy.

    Fact is (after a lot of practice) ... I now have the knowledge. It's just a matter of continuing the practice. I actually made a decision a week before I gave up the pot to stop letting myself go. Whilst I was piling the weight back on ... I've now lost 2kg in the last week. Whilst that does exceed the healthy amount to lose in a week, I'm rather pleased at such a result. It just means I know I can keep my weight off and even lose it when I feel the need → without having to flog myself at the gym!!!

    In fact keeping healthy without "exercise" is going to be my new theme! After this next episode I should be well place to find the balance in between. I'm already feeling confident about it. Keeping active is still key, but the mind set behind it will be somewhat different to my usual approach as it's previously been. Walking will always remain. There is no denying the benefit in that. If I do feel the "compulsion" to exercise, I will seek to use my body only. Looking at it now I can see how aids (consumer products) come between the mind of the body. Just using the body helps to tune is where it's needed most. I'll keep telling myself that.

    The part I mentioned two posts back about transitioning from one moment to the next had hit the nail on the head for me.

    On that note ... it's time for me to vacate this seat.

    I'll install creativerse later today and do a video of that.

    Adios ... until next post.
    Last edited by Ponder; 04-17-2017 at 03:21 PM.
    "...the cost of sanity in this society is a certain level of alienation" ~ Terrance McKenna → https://pondermovedhere.blogspot.com/

  10. #30
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    ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ No time for PC Games today.
    "...the cost of sanity in this society is a certain level of alienation" ~ Terrance McKenna → https://pondermovedhere.blogspot.com/

 

 

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