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  1. #31
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    Yesterday was good for the most part. Group was the highlight of the day. I wish I could find more support like that. The only other real therapy I have are my 6 weekly visits to talk with a therapist. It's more than main stream attitudes that I don't like in people. I don't mind mixing with others who don't fit into generally accepted ideals. Moreover I enjoy mixing with those who question the norm and seek to make positive change. I'm talking about people typically people affected by negative gearing our society transfers so well. None the less the best place to start is with ourselves.

    I figure I'll make a search today on what other groups or options are about.

  2. #32
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    Just taking note of the purging that took pace this morning whilst I was out on my walk. Basically going through intrusive thoughts yet again. I think I will email my therapist and see where that leads.

  3. #33
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    The letter I just did up to my therapist... was a rush job - time to get on with me day:

    __________________________________________________ ________________________________________________

    SUBJECT - Review & Formal Diagnosis Required

    Hi Leanne - I hope this finds you well.


    I am writing to ask for your help in referring me and or assisting in the process to acquire a "formal"diagnosis.

    Whilst at the Child Health Clinic when my grandson was being assessed, my wife's reply to the questionnaire regarding family members mental health history was somewhat diminished by being asked "Where is the formal diagnosis?"

    My daughters struggles are hard enough and now my grandson is repeatedly banging his head and throwing fits over the slightest misdirection from his own current train of thought. I am not happy with the way the clinical process is dismissing our concerns because there seems to be NO FORMAL diagnoses in my family other than me being on a Disability Pension for Mental Illness. Go Figure?

    It's worth noting that as long as the system continues to ignore our reaching out by disregarding and minimizing our information by ending all appointments with "where is this formal diagnosis?" - then is it any wonder that people act out the way they do. It also goes without saying that this unchecked historical instability that's plagued my family will continue to spread throughout not only my family but also the lives of those affected by the residual effect.

    Clinical Psychologist Dr Alexandra ------- informed me I was being treated for Clinical Depression, Social Phobia and Extreme Anxiety. I was encouraged to go on the disability pension to reduce the constant pressure of having to look for work that seemingly only led to repeated shortcomings that up to that stage had been adding to the clinical nature of my then instability.

    The main factors for receiving the disability pension for mental illness as my wife and I understood it - was that I must be receiving help, assessed and diagnosed plus also be stable. We ended up having to get Disability Advocates/Solicitors as the Welfare Dept neglected to use my current Dr's/Therapist's Report ... The Dept used an old Report from a psychiatrist who in one visit ticked and flicked his form and regarded me as perfectly normally.; just a poor chap having a bad run. Other than the fact the Dept neglected to use the report from the Clinical Therapist who saw me regularly for 18+ months ... the pathetic psychiatrist report was 2 years old!

    This is what we are working against. I need professionals that will work with me.

    _____________________________



    First of all ... you should know I am not doing well and think it would be wise to make an appointment at your next available time. Here is a post I made this morning online:

    Whilst out this morning I was overwhelmed with intrusive images. I was reliving a violent episode between myself and three tradesman that took place over my back fence. The police came out bla bla bla. Anyways the intrusive thoughts that followed I beleive were more spawn from the fact I am still purging the violence that took place. Basically I'm now living with images of wanting to not only kill the tradesmen but also - people at random. I'm really hoping that all the Fear Mongering for World War takes place sooner than later. I hope that humans keep on their current course with all their consuming and disregard for those beneath them. I hope what little of nature is left continues to degrade and that billions upon billions of humans succumb to Epic Disasters, Chaos, Famine & Disease. I know of no God ... but pray it happens within my lifetime and am prepared for my grandson to suffer; as I am of all the little children now forsaken on this pathetic rock.

    These are but a few of the "bad feelings" that emanate when contemplating the "news", gazing social media notifications, checking my email/mail, un-ticking spam & telling people on my phone whom I don't even know - to "fuck off & leave me alone!"

    ______________________________________



    I'm asking for help ... It should also be noted that whilst I am requesting a formal diagnosis, I am not requesting to be medicated. Just because I am tethering (as is the cycle for me) does not mean I am unable to stabilize through actively involving myself in phycosocialization, active journaling, increasing my psychotherapy, reintroduction of mentoring, appropriate diet, exercise and so on. I've been at this for years now and am known as a client that takes his mental health recovery seriously. I'm also known to suffer the side effects of nearly every medication and wind up worse than when I first started.


    So it is - that I will not accept having my conditioned judged on what medication I am on or am not taking. I beleive I have the right to be aligned with the decision being made as to my diagnose because unless I beleive the findings; I will not have the capacity to accept or work with proposed label.

    I need to find professionals that are willing to work with me - not against me.


    I look forward to your reply. As always ... TY for your time.

    Kind Regards
    David -------



    PS - My wife may be coming to the next visit we have. I hope this will be alright?
    Last edited by Ponder; 04-19-2017 at 10:11 PM.

  4. #34
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    The thing that really stands out from the above information is just how neglectful the system really is - and not those being victimized; as would be the assumption of the general (sheep) population reading on. Context is everything. Professionals will bend over backwards to ensure a smooth ride in an overwhelming current - as was the case with miss information (fraudulent action) being submitted into my pension claim. The same can be said for doctors who's recommendations are not followed. It all gets very personal and too often those they are entrusted to help; wind up victimized while being brow beaten for acting like a victim. It's a fucking outrage is what that is. Now now ... settle down or else come the meds.

    It was hard enough seeing my daughter slip through the net, but now seeing how the system minimizes concerns - until it is too late! ... they can kiss our ass when they pull the medication card on the little one when he makes too much noise for those koala bears! We are already prepped for atypical responses that starts in our education system - Pfft - like wise sheepish teachers! They can go fuck themselves too!!! It's all about the $$$ and complacent attitudes of lazy fuckers who dare not be questioned by mentally challenged peasants. Have you noticed the increase in cereal packet doctors who seemingly love to work against and restrict their patients? They are suppose to help, but they just make it worse. It all comes down to creating the need ... la la & la. Control Freaks ... O OH - now I'm borderline paranoid ... best keep it quiet before I'm pegged as schizophrenic and forced to take a monthly needle. LMFOA. Not Quite!

    Then we have the fucked up justice system who cares to know even less (but to that which endorses its authority) and then proceeds to do even more damage ensuring it's best interest is adhered to - (like our white coat friends) - VICTIMIZES!
    __________________________________________________ _

    It's key not to live life as a victim - but do call a spade a spade rather than settle for bullshit terms such as "imperfect" ... LOL @ such a cop out view. LMFAO Very much so!

    Righto ... time to move on. Pretty much have all the bases covered as far as my little stalkers go. You aint got shit! If anything - your intent is further road blocked and it's going to cost you even more $$$$ Hit em where it hurts and make them fight all the way. You have to build a case for yourself ... and if the system requires a protest in order to be heard ... then I suggest more people start protesting in order to path your way.

    I for one think people are kidding themselves when they claim we are so lucky to have such a well defined and working system WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT!!! Your simply in a good spot yourself with finely washed brain.

    Adios ... until next post. Fuck the sheep and fuck the system.

    It's good to highlight the pain/truth.
    Last edited by Ponder; 04-20-2017 at 12:12 AM.

  5. #35
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    PURGE incomplete ... due to causing loss of sleep → LOL Just kidding ... is time to once again take a break. (as pretty much is and was the case) - Focusing on the pain is not a good thing for me - is not a good time at all for me. I'm taking time out to get some professional help - WTF hahahahahahaha after all that has been said. The best help is that which we do for ourselves!!!!!!! It's more like I am taking time out to build more of a case. To regain control and defend my family from the evil system (and the sheep/self made police) that destroys all that stand in it's way; moreover those that do not comply with it's regime.

    I'll be back soon enough.
    Adios until then ... this nutter is signing off.

  6. #36
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    Well that was beneficial. Just made some really great gains on my last session with the therapist. Now further investigating Asperger's Syndrome which has actually been brought up several times re my background and inabilities/impairments. Christ knows I have enough people constantly calling me retarded. LOL

    Seriously ... this will be good to write about.

    Back later as things seem to be ironing out.

  7. #37
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    Actually not so easy to write - and more so wrong place. Finding a new home should be a little easier now/NOT - (Adult conditions are seemingly more complex for obvious/not so reasons) Anxiety, depression and social phobia and just but a few products to the core issues. It's easy to s/Wallow on the side effects but much harder dealing with the truth. As for manageable conditions - PFFT - Yea right ... spoken by 99% of white coats/Dr's (and many useless/lazy parents) as more meaning, "Take your meds!" Is why most people in here bow down and worship the hand that feeds them and relish their condition/S! Minus those who cling to blaming their parents. Both as fucked up as each other. The family unit concept needs to change. Yadda Yadda ...

  8. #38
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    V-log Update - Here's something light hearted. When it comes to super marker etiquette the fruits and veggies just don't cut it the same as chocolate does, so whilst I may be strict on my own intake ... I just can't help but given in when it comes to the little fella - not a good habit to fall into though.



    So anyways - life goes on. I've been focusing on the routine I have with my grandson lately more than anything else. Although I am back to getting up a 5am and running laps around the hockey oval. I'm just aiming to keep fit before we head off on our first ever real holiday to visit my youngest son and prospective daughter in-law down in Melbourne. I expect we will be eating a lot and eating out whilst on the trip.

    I think that's all I am going to log in this round. Don't want to ruin the vibe I got from going out with the little fella and making that vid. Innocence hey. For some it's all about how advance they become - for us in our family'it's more about finding our place in the "wrong world!"

    Adios ... until next post.

  9. #39
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    In the interest in keeping it all in one place and also perspective ... reality check. I care less for all this BS people go on about called "Security"Pffft and LOL. That only silences people and stops them from speaking out.
    __________________________________________________ ___________

    No easy way to say it really. I struggle with being concise. Back in 69 mental health was not the industry it is today ... in 92 my eldest son was fell victim to experimental drugs that inadvertently lead him onto crack. I'm talking of Ritalin which at that time was for his ADHD. Back to my time there was virtually no such thing ... just hyper kids and all that kind of thing. OCD - ODD - ADD - onto extreme anxiety, social phobia, clinical depression all of which did me no favors being diagnosed with. I was eventually pensioned off as someone who just does not fit in.

    Recently I have opted to be once again DXed as the above symptoms fail to explain when others ask what's my core inability. Things are coming more into focus after taking an interest in my grandsons apparent lack of keeping up. Likes to bang his head which can lead to hard core episodes. His mum hardly spoke but now refuses to acknowledge any limitations of her own. None the less they pretty much all call me retarded which is fine by me. Being retarded in a world like this is not such a bad thing.

    My therapist says she has "No Problem" DXing me on the spectrum, which in a world gone mad on labels is not such a bad thing. At least now when they "professionals" relay to my wife - "has your husband been DXed - we might be shown a little more respect ... rather than just saying Anxiety,phobias and depression. Teachers about rolls their eyes at that ... so too most nurses, doctors and other so called professionals. Sucks to only have symptoms labeled as your DX. Confuses everyone and does little to help - makes stigma worse.

    ATM - If stigma gives way to anything, its still more pitty than much else. Stigma having most people think Anxiety is just being nervous, that social phobia is because I don't want to play with Bob and the my clinical depression is due to broken nails. Not sure if anyone gets my drift.

    Is good since I have been reading up on the spectrum. There is a LOT of sense in it for me. I am more able to redefine and hone current alternative methods I've been using to remain drug free.

    Alas - Adult Sufferers - (latter not a choice word) no doubt make for complex cases ... but I know myself well enough, so does my long standing therapist. I think it will be tough though to find others my own age. I've been struggling to find others - online - for a long time on a number of fronts. Forums mostly. Is good that the young folk have place, and also their parents. Yet like I attempted to allude to in my intro - there is one or two skipped generations before the onset of our modern day mental health industry. Something like that.

    So there you have it.

    My Intro Done.
    ~ Dave.
    ________________________________________

    Maybe I'll finally meet some other mature adults that understand my plight. But then again ... no matter having same DX ... whatever that may be ... we are all different to varying degrees. Just keeping the professionals happy and adjusting my fit for said boxes. Sigh ...........

    Moving on.
    Last edited by Ponder; 04-30-2017 at 05:10 AM.

  10. #40
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    .................................................. ...............
    ''“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

 

 

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