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  1. #711
    Senior Member
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    Jun 2013
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    Canada
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    I do get it, After 12 hour on market and a lot of talk , i am so drained I would like to go to sleep but it will elude me, It takes for me like 3 days to recover
    ''“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

  2. #712
    Senior Member
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    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
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    Despite the smell of garbage ... it was very peaceful : )



    Still not doing very well ... but doing what I can to keep myself mentally motivated. I know it will pay off later and actually makes me feel a whole lot better in the moment once I take the first step. For me timing is everything. I don't like it once the traffic pics up and people start fussing about the place. Is what it is for now.

  3. #713
    Senior Member
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    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
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    Phew ... feeling a little wasted - ZZZ Been a while since I have hit the keyboard feeling refreshed, even longer since I've done a Vlog Therpay Sitting. I've been trudging alone well enough with my morning efforts as depicted above. It really is good for the brain all things considered. I've set up my mediation chair once again and placed it in the spot where max passed away. I think about the letting go that took place with us all patting, hugging, grieving, crying and so on. I figure in my own weird way that I can use the residual energy that reside more in me than the spot itself ... yet makes for a good focus / setup point. I see how I go with that over the next couple of days. In everything we do ... it's all in the approach. Intellect in these matters only serves to get in the way ... in fact intellect in most cases pretty much results in short term gains.

    What else ... ? Trying to keep focused on things that keep my interest in between what I deem as my responsibilities. I got the chores of making doctors appointment for yearly new mental health plan out of the way as too contacted therapist to advice plus confirmed tomorrows meeting with mentor. It might not sound like much but it does take more energy than getting up out of bed. Motivation is also something it takes as I really don't like jumping through the hoops unless I have an interest in desired outcomes. Desire being the key word as it's pretty pointless to be strung along if one is not willing in the first place. Otherwise you really are just a pawn in someone else's game. Beats defining oneself only by the labels and pills the system prescribes. Just because it's a control system does not mean we have no control.

    On that Note it's back to EFT for me tomorrow.

    EVEN THOUGH .......... I still Deeply and Completely Accept Myself. Filling in the Gaps is where it's at. Hmmmm ... how would that go for me of late ... Even though??? I have let myself go, feeling low, Even though max is gone and the world still feels all wrong - I deeply and completely accept myself. I still have my family - I have my daughters, I have my sons ... Even though we may not always get along ... and or say the wrong things ... I deeply and completely accept myself.

    ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  4. #714
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
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    GP wants me to see a psychiatrist. Huge Smile on that one. How misunderstood I really be. Kind of proves everything I've been saying all along. The doctor does not seem to understand that I already have the support I already need or is simply ignoring that fact and playing her hand as I play mine. In fact it is very much the latter. We all play our part in this world to get form A to B. I don't have to go and since back peddling and giving it more thought, I have decided to go along with my support. Taking someone with me usually had these doctors back peddle themselves. The topic/context that now comes to mind is

    Being Easily Led - From a Mentally Ill Perspective.
    Note for now:
    *Mentally Ill from my respective is more a state of balance within a spectrum of imbalance as generally and complacently defined by current curriculum/train of thought/pre-conditioned mentally
    First I must go keep up my movement and perhaps meditate more on that.

  5. #715
    Senior Member
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    Jun 2013
    Location
    Canada
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    oh, Do you remember when I was looking for a new doctor, I got it , he is young not more than 35 and Canadian, He is working in the clinich with 5 docs so when there is emergency I do not have to wait in hospital just go there, they share the medical records so my real appointment is on February 5, I am so happy I got rid of that bitch. Anyway she was not seeing me more than once in 8 months, (I did not miss her )
    I hope this young doc has enough zest for life to treat me like a human being and the bag to put pills in
    ''“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

  6. #716
    Senior Member
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    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
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    Indeed ... Yes I do. ... If he does not, I am sure you will find one that will.

  7. #717
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    Jun 2013
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    Canada
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    it costed me 55 dollars to get summary of my record, eh
    ''“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

  8. #718
    Senior Member
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    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
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    Yea - money talks hey. My therapist was very short with me in her reply which left me feeling dismissed for lack of acknowledgement. Her excuse was she was not being paid for a counseling session via email.

    Not looking good for our repore at this stage. $$$$$ it really is all about the money. All she had to do was simply acknowledge with - two or three words ... but nope ... all ways in a rush.

    I hope your summery was worth it?

    Buy the way D - can we pick up this conversation in the new thread I just made:
    http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showth...-My-Head-Space

    Much appreciated.

  9. #719
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    Jun 2013
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    Canada
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    yes
    ..................
    ''“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

 

 

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