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  1. #441
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    Still battling with whatever this body itch is ... might be a reaction to the midgis. Sigh ... Managed to get out once again this afternoon. Did an hours working out my push bike by way of a long stretch then doing laps in the back streets near home. Currently having a lot of showers re the itch. Have been using clove and olive oil, then later washing off with natural soap with a rinse then Dettol baths. I was up at like 2am ... not sure how I will go tonight. Going to take the antihistamine during the day and skip tonight ... best on an empty stomach I thinks. Been washing my sheets and clothes in hot water paranoid about scabies / body lice. Man ... I had this thing for so long before it wore me down ... took me to the brink ... was around the time of my brothers death. RIP

    I try to keep my spirits up. Yea ... I can see the damn midgis on my screen now as I type. Maybe my partner is right. Just a bad reaction to the midgis and not body lice. None the less the reaction I get feels like things crawling all over my skin. In my eyes and even in my nose. They symtoms pretty much mimic body lice ... BUT ... I stop thinking about it as much as I can. Might have to oil up later or just have another dettol bath. Deal with that when the time comes.

    What else is happening ... I wonder ... things could be worse. Has not America launch any Nukes yet? Hmmm I was so hoping. Maybe tomorrow they will expedite things. Both troubles makers as far as I am concerned. Arrrr so many troubles we got hey. I figure if I am not itching for 10 minutes ... then I'm doing pretty *&^$ing good!

    Might go dribble in my other thread.

    Things could be worse.

    Scratch ... scratch!
    Last edited by Ponder; 10-08-2017 at 02:49 AM.

  2. #442
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    Off to go make friends with the morning light. You know it's also good to make friends with yourself. At first it might seem weird but the bonus is when all else fails at least you can fall back on yourself.

    I'll take my new phone and see if it takes a better pic.

    Later guys ... Later Dave.

    Heheheheheheeeee Is good to go insane from time to time. I try and stay in that vibe as long as I can.

  3. #443
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    Howdy P

    Quote Originally Posted by Ponder View Post
    Off to go make friends with the morning light. You know it's also good to make friends with yourself. At first it might seem weird but the bonus is when all else fails at least you can fall back on yourself.

    I'll take my new phone and see if it takes a better pic.

    Later guys ... Later Dave.

    Heheheheheheeeee Is good to go insane from time to time. I try and stay in that vibe as long as I can.
    Hey P i just popped in to see whats been going on. Native American Flute.... Can't wait to here you blow out a relaxing melody. be safe and i hope all is well with the family.
    " it is better to keep ones mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt ", Mark Twain.

  4. #444
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    Hey Bud ... hope all is well with you and yours too. : ) Great to see ya man! I'll for sure link a tune once I have the confidence to play something in person. Long way off although very much enjoying the process of breathing with my flute.

    Huge day today. Lots of walking and had another exercise session with my pushbike. The high point of today was coming across these awesome trees. I kind of broke away from the group in a trans like state taking in the majestic vibes coming from these

    I was like WOW!!! I got to take a snap of that!


    In under that tree:



    This lady has the right idea ... although the smoke she is sucking on kind of negates the benefits: (Hope your giving up is going well John?)


    These guys have a tree all to themselves! You'll probably have to click on the pic to see as the lighting was not that great and I did not have a powerful enough flash:
    Last edited by Ponder; 10-09-2017 at 06:18 AM.

  5. #445
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    Another big day. I have progressed on the flute. Now learning a full on breathing exercise that sounds really good as well. Back to doing some body weight exercises. The itching is a little better. Something I am still tethering with atm. Keeping my spirits up on that front. I have been dreaming every night now which is pretty good for someone drug free. Nothing worth going into detail right now ... just a few things I need to let go of I think.

    As stated in the other thread I think I will pick up the hole deal with the astral realm in this here thread. Was fun while it lasted. lol ... always learning though. What's next? Good question. Hmmmm

    Time coming up for another Vlog I guess. Whatever works right? It could be so easy to let myself go. I know that much. I think this is the longest ever with keeping the weight off I have ever gone. I've put on a few kgs here and there but seem to lose it easily enough. Usually I end up putting up to 20 or even 30kg back on. I know from experience I am too old for those ups and downs ... has to be gradual and then made a lifestyle otherwise I'm a heart attack job for sure, not to mention suicidal tendencies to the max. Every day is a chore in this world to keep on top. I just don't think the main stream media really understands the extent to that plight when it comes to sugar coating depression and anxiety with the examples I've seen hitting the screens of late.

    Sigh ... I don't think even the esoteric crowed nor many of the famed spiritual teachers understand quite that plight as well. I guess I am just tired tonight. Tethering with this body itch has been quite sapping I must admit. I've done well not to go into detail on it actually; although probably just did.

    To escape or not to escape ... To avoid the light ... or seek it out ... making sure to continue past GO not stopping to collect ... to only seek out a pin point of light all the way across the realm on the other end? Screw all the entertainment and drama in between.
    Off to bed ... see what happens ... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    John buddy ... I sincerely hope you and yours are as well as can be.

    Night night.
    Last edited by Ponder; 10-10-2017 at 03:46 AM.

  6. #446
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    Today I mowed and cut the edges of both my neighbours front yards. One was expecting the real estate the next day to take photos and was behind on his chores. He was exceptionally pleased that included his yard. The lady on the others side I don't get along that well with so figured I would just offer a bridge for the sake of hope. I just sung out in the most diplomatic way I could "Hey, while I'm at it would you like your edges done?" She had visitors with her out the front and seemed to like the idea of having me do her bidding. LOL ... Just kidding. None the less she was a taken back. I did a real good polish job for both the neighbours and got plenty of quality sun.

    My wife was like - "What about our back yard?" I guess I get some more sun tomorrow afternoon.

    I'm giving up Men's group for Music Group. The mental health center has moved into a new place. I'm not quite sure about it just yet. It's very comfy but mostly all white. Sadly they also have TV screens on the walls in different rooms. The had the main stream media in the client common room. This is going to present a real problem for me. At home I have a choice to switch it off, but not the case in what is now an official Government Building. It would seem this direction of peer based therapy is going to regress into something more clinical.

    I did my best to remain respectful in an email I just sent. All I did was simply present my concerns. The thing is they have a policy about discussion within the centre that religion and politics are not to be brought in. With the screen projecting main stream news and it's associated politics in the common room ... well let's just say right there we have a conflict of interest. The other thing I brought up in my email was having a support worker from their own service accompany me to a medical centre to relieve my anxiety with TV screens in the waiting room. We found a spot and came up with a resolution that's actually been quite helpful. Alas ... you can imagine my surprise when entering the new mental health psychosocialization facility where I now attend groups and seeing the damn NEWS projected in the common room. Quietly I was like WTF!? Talk about irony.

    Alas ... I made it clear the facility is not there for me ... or just for me. That I was just airing my concerns as it's a very real issue for me. If you don't say anything then admin wont know. I wish more people would speak up on issues that affect them. I also stated that I would deal with the issue either way. I could choose to sit outside and or consider the whole ordeal as a challenge for me to overcome. Just ignore the irony whilst quietly watching in an amused like manner as political debates and world views conflict. I will find it interesting to see how sheepish some of the mentally ill are as well as might be surprised to observe others like myself who would much prefer something less tense - be aired in the room.

    SIGH ...

    But for now ... I feel good that I did something nice for my neighbours. I think the flute playing is having a positive affect on me.
    __________________

    Tomorrow is Music Group. I think most of the guys play guitar. I'm not taking my flute however did mention I am learning it. There is no way I would be able to jam with the guys. The thing with the flute is more a meditative and personal thing. Unless others were wanting to learn flute it's best I leave that at home. At least until I am good enough to perhaps give a demo of breathing exercises for those interested in another tool for dealing with anxiety, depression and or mental health. For that I am amazed already what the breathing and tones have done for me.

    We did work out though that I can do some percussion while the others play. Getting an Indian drum is next on my list as well as a rattle. They don't quite have that style of percussion, however they do have some bongo drums, an egg shaker and tambourine ... possibly a triangle as well. I told them I was down with all that.

    That's pretty much my plan for tomorrow.

    Of course ... finish my own yard as well.

    Adios until next post.
    Last edited by Ponder; 10-11-2017 at 03:40 AM.

  7. #447
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    I have created my own Native American Flute Tab system ... still working on it though:


    The size of the flute represents the difference in note length with drum beat to assist with reference between whole, half, quarter and like wise duration of note. Distance between each image is something I am factoring in. Each sequence of images is one breath long. This is part of a resonant breathing exercise breathing out for several seconds, taking a breath in less than .5 of a second and then breathing out for several seconds with 10 sequences in total. BPM is 64. Good for reducing stress whilst at the same time creating some nice tunes. I am still learning this ... however have had to create my own system of learning. I am also playing in conjunction with having cut a video of someone demonstrating this practice. I have divided the ten sections in a scene where the person is put on repeat with the same part being played over and over again. Since having come up with my own tab that accounts for the timing of each note I am now learning a much faster. Designing the process is in fact taking a lot more time - yet well worth it. My wife was complaining about the repetitiveness of my learning so had to come up with a more flowing system or at least one that only required a few repeats before moving on. This system also allow me to transcribe using only video of people playing without any provided sheet music. Although I do require a video that clearly depicts the fingering.
    ______________________________

    I can now see room for inflection/emphasis ... will work on that too. Would be good to animate ... one thing at a time though.

    Time to take a break.

    My son is on an airplane heading to south Korea. I am happy for him. He is the first in our clan to set foot off a land mass and will soon be the first to land a foot in another land.

  8. #448
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    Remember how you used to cheer yourself on when feeling a little flat, but knew the effort would be good for you? Yea I do ... Sigh:

    Well ... Up and at 'em Dave!!! You got this!

    If you want to be an author then start taking control of your own life.

    Literally ... one foot in front of the other; and throw some push ups in there as well!

    No brain fog this end! &^[email protected] that shit. There's a much better way and you know those GPs and like wise so called professionals can't be bothered telling others you about!

    I still get the haze from time to time, but much better to break the tension with an affirmation followed with immediate action no matter how gentle the movement is. Next thing you know mild starts end up smashing walls because moving is better than not at all!

    __________________________________________________ __

    Ready Set GOOOOO. The snail now begins its daily haul.

    Until next post.
    KEEP MOVING!
    Last edited by Ponder; 10-13-2017 at 02:13 PM.

  9. #449
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    Fuck it ... Now that that's done I'm going to have a coffee. A french press one. Going to meditate while I make it.

    Then learn some more of my 1st flute tune.

  10. #450
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    This is pretty much a snap shot of the last couple of days on my end of the scale:

    Life Without A Clothes Dryer


    I attempted to assist elsewhere in the forum today in response to books on depression. I ended up sourcing what looks like a decent book from a white coat in the field. Not often I give credit to the revolving door types. I think this one looks not half bad. It seems to draw up a good balance between therapy and medicine ... as in highlight just about everything else that is required in order to rewire the brain. The latter actually being another title to another book by the same author. Rewire.



    I went one further and used a text to speech to come up with the following for those interested in hearing more about this book ... The Introduction to this book:
    You can choose 1080p to read along or click on the amazon pic below vid to explore even more about the book.




    __________________________________________________

    I'm actually going through a really hard time watching my grandson being forced between families. Just when I thought all my hard times were subsiding through the act of letting go, more stuff just keeps coming up. Alas is the story of life and all it brings. Focusing on positive experiences really is the best medicine in my book. No matter those negative ones to which we have no control, we can always create positive ones within the sphere of our control. That's my plan tomorrow with the little one. He only had his first unsupervised visit today and no doubt having trouble processing. I'll take him for a walk in the bush which I know he loves + also given him a dip in the bath with a few bubbles and a duck! It's hard to find words and even then he's only 3 with ASD and sadly now having a few more of those episodes I linked a some space back in this here thread. BUT ... like I said ... just have to focus on creating those experiences that bring about smiles, healing and peace - at least as best as can be had.

    That introduction actually makes quite a lot of sense on how and why we tend to cling to our pain. If I were to focus on a strength based perspective I would do well to foster those traits in both my grandson and I that allow us to adapt so well. There's a good chance that we shall grow out of those predispositions if we keep up with what we know works so well.

    Sigh ... Did some running - chi trotting more like it. Racked my brain with more flute tab and of course searching on some books and making that above vid. I think is enough.

    I call it quits, hit the sack and see if I can make some kind of intergalactic trip.

    Maybe post that book in the depression section fist.

    Until next post ... Night night ... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

 

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