Getting Back On The Perch! - MY EXERCISE ROUTINE - Come Walk With Me.

[Ponder]

Have to put a family member down on Friday. Very sad moment. It's been a long time coming. Got a bit of food poisoning last night. My wife suffered the most. Won't be buying from there again.

I guess life goes on. Installed over 18GB last night. War Thunder. It was a request from a friend. It's not my favorite and in some ways is just taking up space. Things we do for our friends. lol Narrrrr - is a good game ... just one more than I really need is all. I am really enjoying X-plane although about to log back into City skylines for a challenge.

On other fronts ... hmmmm ... the balancing is going well enough. For instance I logged into here so I would not log in elsewhere. lol ... like steam. Although that is really just running in the background.

Yard work is going well enough. Not looking forward to taking the trailer to the tip. I get pretty anxious doing that. Wierd thing is I am actually getting better at reversing ... its just the atmosphere and waste I think. I also get a little confused with where everything must go, which lines to follow and all that kind of thing. BUT - I have persisted enough times to know the gist of it. Planning ahead helps a lot ... also going on opening times early in the mornings. Not quite sure which is the best day ... avoiding weekends preferably.

You got to be good not to end up a pile of ash!

[Ponder]

Putting Max down is going to be hard. Might have to take a hand full of pills for the anxiety. No Thanks ... think I will ride this out the old school way. He has been with us all the way. This is going to leave a rift in the family for a whiles. We are planning for someone to come to the house and give him the needle. My wife will not be present. Is too much for her. I am going to be here with my eldest daughter. I don't even think my wife want's max's body here when she gets back. However my daughter and I agreed we need at least half an hour with max before dealing with cremation and the like. I respect my wife's wishes .. is her way to deal with it. I don't do funerals point blank. I certainly hope I am the next one to go with regards to our immediate family.

It's hard core looking over at him now knowing he will be put to sleep in less than two days. I've been trying to reason if it's an immoral act, but then what are morals at any rate? It's all relative to personal views and varying circumstances. How does one make a judgment call when unable to discuss the level of pain with your animals. I mean not to judge at any rate. He is pretty much on his last legs, laboring in breath and giving off a constant pungent smell. I think he is no longer digesting his food and possibly slowly falling into kidney failure. It would cost quite a bit to get confirmation off all his ailments and then leave us with not enough for an assisted death when he probably needs it most.

I think is best all things considered. Just the first time we lose a family member this close to home. Sigh ... I hope the kids can cope. Is going to be quite stressful.

We will talk about it and face the issues head on, but only in a zone each family member is able handle. If we handle this right and support each other ... then there is no need to go running to a GP.

Righto ... off to bed to process and hopefully given Max a good send off by being with him on his last day. That being tomorrow! Max's Last Day.

I think it will be a good send off as I know he will no longer be in pain. In fact ... there are many of us on the plain that could do with such assistance. Beats all those feeding tubes and despairing stints in a morbid geriatric home still having to answer to the tune of some short staffed, hard nosed & overworked nurse. Like I said ... comes down to one's personal views views and varying circumstances. I can see why it's now legal in more countries to assist with death. For many it's no doubt a good release ... although hard to fathom how one could experience anything not knowing what comes next?

Night Night ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzz

Please to report little one is out of cast ... Latest Xray indicates the damage was not as bad as first thought. ... Life goes on for that little one.

[Dahila]

I am so sorry , it is terrible, I called vet to home, hoping that it is going to be easier for my girls. She was gone so quickly but I was left with such hole in my heart, not to admit that my blood pressure changed from low to high, and It was a trigger for me. The worst was my family, they knew that I had her from the time she was 7 weeks and they thought I do too much drama. I could not function for months. 11 years passed and I am drama queen always think about her...........she was such help with my anxiety, the walks, long walks helped me..............eh..........no another dog ever

[Ponder]

Yea, I remember you saying D. Same here with life time pet. Some of the kids here now saying their goodbyes while they can. We keep thinking narrrrrr ... he looks OK ... but then he starts shaking and the smell is still strong .... yadda yadda. Lisa and I still agree it's the right thing.

Anyways - Selling the flute and all it's accessories now. hehe ... You know me. I'm that impressed with the flight sims that I opted to sell a few things to purchase the software. Not exactly cheap. Just sold my computer chess set and still fell short of what I need. That said I pretty much got back what I paid for it. I usually look after my things with resale value in mind. My account on eBay and skills for selling is good for things like that. Looking forward to the end of sale actually. That said I am procrastinating with editing all the pics. That's usually the lengthy part that most people overlook and to their disadvantage I may add. Whatever Dave ... as long as I make enough to reach my target goals. Enough for a flight stick would be a nice bonus. Finding a left handed one is what I need. Being a genius and all. You know how it is with us leftys.

PS - Thanks for the commiseration D. Much appreciated.

[Ponder]

Bit nervous ... nearly time for Max's needles.

[Ponder]

It's times like this that words fail. Lots of hugs all round. I think it's just as sad that it takes events like this to make us connect. ZZZZZZZZZZ

[Dahila]

They leave such huge hole in your heart, Can not even post about it, I am still grieving my girl even 12 years will be on February 2

[Ponder]

There is certainly a void in the house about now. The vet was a little to quick suggesting to bring in a bag after the deed was done. We explained that we will be using the bedding he was on as previously arranged with the next service to arrive about an hour later to pick max up. We were well aware of the chemical processes that follow death in relation to ejection and smell. We still required time to let go and I pointed out that although maxes heart had stop beating, that his brain and more to the point, his soul could be very well present for some time yet. No doubt the vet was just doing what they do ... a J-O-B. Yadda Yadda. It was good that we could do it in our own home. It was a good gathering ... just our intimidate family - no strangers ... no drama. Just how every funeral should be. Sigh. If only.

Anyways - It's been a good release; all round. We do so much in our culture to hide from such an inevitable outcome. In fact we exploit the fear and make much profit in the form of both $$$$ and control. But whatever ... I have more pleasant things to write home about tonight. At least while there is still some breath left in me.
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Talk about challenging to learn and fly a plain. I really got my hands full with that. I know it might be an easy task for a finely tuned brain, but mine 'aint' what it used to be. That said I am doing well enough. I'm hopping to fly this little puppy in the near future:



It's been a LONG time since I tried my hand at flight sims and it would seem they have come a LONG way. I Joust bought back into Microsoft's outdated series due to their excellent in game learning centre. Once I pick up the basics and can navigate ... I'll look forward to taking on the more graphical and responsive X-Plane 11. If indeed I stick it out. If only I can get enough for my flute to get myself a decent flight stick. : )
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Not much else happening. I just did another Video. It's kind of for one or two people from the Flight Simulator X community on Steam. More a technical and review of the rendering add ons from a newbies point of view ... a very confused one: That's what my newbie channel is all about. I'll post in here for those who have nothing else better to do. You can watch me bounce off the airport a few times. lol

I manage to walk twice today. No where near as long as I usually did that time last year ... but it's a good enough start to get back into the swing of things.

Take care guys ... Adios until next post!

[Ponder]

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

I hope your all doing well. Take a deep breath. I'm just going through the motions. I'm not really feeling like seeing people of late which makes going outside to walk and get fresh air difficult. I am forcing myself to do it though because the outside air helps me clear my head and the moving on my feet helps to get blood flowing through my heart more than happens whilst sitting for several hours in front of my screen.

I best get to bed and try go outside in the morning again. Trying to do it twice a day ... it really helps. Cycles you see. Getting ready for the cooling I know that will come soon ... it's all relative despite the extreme heat. Even in my lowest points ... I know I got to keep moving ... even when I want to human contact outside of my own immediate family. I don't mind making friends online ... funny how that works - perhaps not ... it kind of makes perfect sense.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Night night -

[Ponder]

Another Later one ... Flying @ 4000+ Feet in a light plane. Very Calming ... Now I am ready for bed ... I think ...