Getting Back On The Perch! - MY EXERCISE ROUTINE - Come Walk With Me.

[gypsylee]

Noone comments as far as I know lol, so it hasn’t been an issue

[Dahila]

D. do nothing for me, but maybe some good people could give you some insights, Tons of people go through similar struggle. The blog without comments is kind of dead, I would (if I was you) comments section but before published they must be moderated, so you would have to read it and let it on or off .........just thinking
I really like the clean look of that blog, no distraction

[martin05]

I didn't know your blog even took comments, Gyps. I'm going to leave one now.

Ponder: You could re-open comments and specify what kind of comments are acceptable. The rest will be deleted. The message should get through pretty quickly.

[Ponder]

Gypsy - I don't think you have comments enabled? ... OR ... I at least am unable to see where to comment is all. Do you know if you have comments enabled?


D. Your right. A lot of people have and or are going through similar struggles. TY for pointing that out. : ) The well meaning comment the said "Surely other people's actions do not affect your suffering ... " despite ongoing context imo is detrimental for those experiencing PTS which is why I ended up being unable to process that persons attempt to share their insights as they saw fit; and ultimately reason why I turn off the ability for comments.

THAT SAID - Your mention of Moderating Comments I like! I know it's hard for good friends such as yourself to come to AF and comment due to the triggers within this forum. On that note I am hugely grateful for your help.

Due to this fact and how important it is to me that I have an open door for the likes of yourself ... Especially yourself : ) ... I will after a few more posts enable comments with the option for me to moderate. Right now I am not ready to deal with those who don't really know me ... not just yet. Perhaps after a few more posts.

Great Idea D ... I fully intent to re enable comments with moderation in due time. So please ... at least while I am continuing my blog which I fully intent ... do pop in when you have time and strength. I would love to start hearing about your own struggles as well ... or ... by some miracle perhaps you no longer have any at all. hehehe ... Savours such a thought ... if only we could all be so lucky ... to find such a state of being in this oh so wonderful world. arrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I do hope is the case for all or at least a point, no matter how fleeting, that we experience more often than not; at least experienced at some point being better than nothing at all.

Righto ... off to blog some crucial thoughts.

Psychosocialization Yesterday: Something I was in great need of. Glad I went.



Where I sometimes sleep ... I am overdue for a nap!

[Ponder]

I'll use this space to brain storm as I draw from my Whistle Blowing Thread before further documenting the facts. INTERESTING FIND:

" ... - the final bloke/Step Dad from the arranged marriage via the church - was also set up as a resident Psychiatrist! The places they sent us to and fro where just as interesting too." ← 6th post down from top of this link.

I ponder to think about this guys responsibility to inform of the abuse we kids no doubt would of 'inadvertently' expressed when they came to visit? Being a Psychiatrist an all. A so called Professional to which many in here are so quick to refer when they themselves are grasping at straws. Trust me ... being a certified professional entrusted with the welfare of others and having a duty of care means little when it comes to personal gain.

I have often spoken out against so called professionals and whilst one could reason bias on my part, I know well what I talk about as someone who's live decades many sides of the fence. This really is interesting stuff reading back like so. Just though this was quite a revelation in the context that this Psychiatrist/DR did nothing to assist exposing the nature of our reaching out when we did. Did We? ... and now the system wants to upon one who knows nothing of the real me to make a judgement call.

Yet another topic to be pondered. My mother admits to approaching various people about suspected abuse ... so my step father the DR must of been privy to said accusations yet nothing happened. At any rate ... the themselves kept sending us off into other homes. Secondary Abuse at best, Primary Abusers at worst.

Is what it is, was what it was ... Don't think for a moment because someone is certified whatever that they have your best interest at heart. Hmmmmm ... I think point and case.

[martin05]

The well meaning comment the said "Surely other people's actions do not affect your suffering ... "

A very Buddhist idea. The smug Buddhist seems to be becoming a Western phenomenon. I can't seem to browse the net or watch the TV anymore without seeing a Buddhist somewhere claiming the big guy 2,500 years ago had the answer to everything.

Hey, I'm no Buddhist though, so maybe he did.

Do you still meditate, btw?

[Dahila]

D. Every day is a struggle, however I am only good when I stay in workshop focusing on my products, this is the only time when I do not struggle. I struggle to say good morning to my partner, i struggle to keep going from early morning to the bed time, that sometimes is this hateful time when I am tossing for hours. That's ok I have less time left on this plane, Each day takes me closer to the blissful end ; I hope.
You know that i take clonazepam, can not survive without it , I do not like it, but well at least I have some kind of life. I do not think I will overcome my childhood trauma, no way, nothing works ..........it is going to stay .
D. you look for a little of peace, it is unreal not in the world we live.... eh I wish I could be more optimistic, You see what this Forum does to me

[Ponder]

LOL Martin ... What can I say ... I agree. Typical of those preaching who have no personal experiences to share or have none of the historical facts to which they refer. Equates to Mental Masturbation I guess.

Yea, I still meditate - believe it or not. I just see differently to your average westernized well being snobs. Sigh ... must be getting tired ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Dahila sums things up nicely. I much prefer honesty over positivity D ... so no worries there.

Yes I understand my abstinence from medication is not appropriate for others. Yes trauma for many of us is very much about learning to live and accept what has passed. That level of acceptance being what makes or breaks us. Whatever ... because I really am just dribbling shit ... this I know. I am and I am not ... what the fuck ever.

I often get back from a morning run and or a jog struggling to say good morning to Lisa. I know she struggles just as much. We all be burned out logs in one way of another struggling to keep up some form of glow. Please do keep in touch Dahila - I too would like to have life long friends ... especially those who are nearing the end of time!!! They tend to see through a lot of the BS and touch on things that really matter - that is when we are not being so cynical. lol - You can't have one without the other and in fact I don't like people who ignore those that struggle. WTF is with my constant poetry like literation? I hope the fuck I don't come back as a rapper ... in fact I hope I don't fucking come back at all!

I thought fuck it today myself ... and bought my grandson a treat knowing he would not finished it off - so when he asked me to put it away (in the glove box of all places - No IN THE GLOVE BOX!!! Must Must put it in the glove box!!! lol I love him to bits!) after eating the top - yours truly did a magic trick and made it disappear. Thankfully I did not make as much a mess as he. One thing is for sure ... we both enjoyed having a treat!

[martin05]

What kind of meditation do you do? I've tried breathing meditation, but it's always triggered my OCD.

And that's a great pic by the way. One you'll treasure for a damn long time, trust me.

[Dahila]

yeah, D, you know that I do not lie, I have the comfort of telling the true, I wish I could live without meds, I had tried, The biggest problem is my insomnia ......With the smallest does of clonazepam I do not feel like zombie, Do not feel it at all. I think maybe it is a safety blanket for me? I am getting panic attacks from time to time, but less than one year ago. Still can not take a nap, ever. I am getting up early and have busy day so maybe this is the way to deal with it. I try to keep busy all day. Distraction works great for me, I am still meditating, probably will meditate on my death door too
The small one is so cute
We love them do we not D?
Martin, meditation is not thing you need to struggle, Breathing meditation is (in my opinion) kind of difficult, I tried then I went to mantra meditation, then after some time I started to follow my breath, It is easy you focus on the air and go with it in and out, in and out. There is a lot of ways to meditate and everyone must find one. I meditate when in garden (now is kind of cold) completely focused on the sounds and the air..........There is thousands ways of meditating. You meditate while walking
I think your problem is; trying to have some kind of definition. You do not need it, go with the flow, let the energy go through you do not judge, do not think