Your number one frustration with panic disorder

[sanomi]

What is your biggest pain point or frustration with having panic disorder?

[gypsylee]

Hi and welcome

My biggest issue is the difference between the functional me and the non-functional, anxiety-stricken me. This in itself causes more anxiety, so it's a vicious circle.

[salvator here]

For me; I guess..

There is a difference between anxiety and 'panic mode'. When I am in panic mode and there is nobody to turn to (in real life), I'm left up to my own devices and it mentally drains me, as well as physically and I'm left questioning everything about myself.

Thank you for starting the thread as a general topic of discussion rather than a thread to offer support for any particular member, and this is why I feel a bit more at ease posting this. Yesterday evening I was feeling very suicidal and was considering posting here asking for help, I started several postings but just closed the browser and stopped and gave up hoping I would sleep it off, and luckily I did. When I woke up this morning I was so drained and felt physically ill all over my body. Panic turns into anxiety and usually manifests itself with physical symptoms that last well into the next day sometimes. I was able to fully snap out of it and suicide didn't even cross my mind today at all. So panic disorder causes all that for nothing as long as I don't act on those thoughts/ideations.

So the point there was, panic disorder clouds my judgement I become illogical.

For the record.. I'm feeling just fine now and actually had a pretty descent day overall considering waking up questionable.

[gypsylee]

I use "panic" and "anxiety" interchangeably, with panic just being the extreme end of the scale. I do know "panic mode" and it's horrendous. That's when I end up compulsively drinking unless I have something like benzos to take the edge off it. I'm glad you feel better now Salvator.

[richierich25]

Biggest frustration with panic disorder is that I have been medically cleared as "healthy" and deep down I know I am healthy but i still have health anxiety! Its like my mind wont believe the doctors! I'm fine with being dizzy, muscle aches, on and off headaches but heart palpitation scare the S*** out of me and it causes me to panic when I Know there is no need to panic!

[Kirk]

I have had skipped beats for over 30 years and they still scare the hell out of me sometimes.

[Ponder]

Hi and welcome; will we ever see you again?

Being Human.

[sanomi]

I appreciate all your thoughtful responses. For me, trying to hide my fears from everyone and act normal has, at times been, overwhelming. Very few people knew about the level of distress I suffered from on a daily basis. Have others kept all this to themselves or only confided to a small select group of trusted friends?

[salvator here]

Well, feel free to Let 'Er Rip here; that's why were here and you don't have hold back with us.

Yeah, other then here on the forum, I tend to keep it to myself in real life now. I don't go around with a fake smile either though, but the very people I confided in (promptly) turned their backs on me when I needed them the most and that was more painful. I guess it depends, you may have to sort of make a judgement call wen It comes to confiding in friends - I feel its alright to withhold your inner most secrets from people. Sometimes only you (truly) understand what you're going through. Mindfulness (which seems to be automatic for me) has been a life safer. Right now I'm in search of a mental health hotline that are not for crisis and suicide, rather for those times when I just need somebody to talk to when there is nobody to turn to, but I'm not having much luck.

Online support help me a lot though and its more anonymous, but are you in some sort of therapy at all?

PS: Thanks gypsy. It sometimes takes enormous restraint to not wonder into a bar, again, but I know I can't.

[Teafrenzy]

What's my biggest "frustration"?

At first, when I got my disorder, I was frustrated by the fact that I knew other people living good lives, partying, having fun or when a little older, raising families. A good day for me was having no panic attacks.

Now that I am somewhat recovered, I am frustrated by the "TINGE". I feel 100% sometimes but I am a tinge off. I feel so frigging close to returning back to normal that i can taste it. I'm not saying that it's worse than being lightheaded 24/7 or something like that, but it is "frustrating" by the sense of the word.