I have returned yet again :)

[Ponder]

Dahila ... excuse I have not been on facebook much. As you can see from my previous post I am kind of dedicated to detox and purging these last few months. I appreciate you encourging me to come back here. It helps to be in a space I am comfortable (despite previous frustrations yadda yadda)

Just wanting to say I wish I had more time is to convey. At least this way you can see how I am traveling ... I have been struggling with the whole separation at home kind of thing - re separate bedrooms and lack of intimacy. Even just the being near and wanting to be loved. It has been very cold for me and lonely. So it is that I have been purging like so with my body and looking to draw from ... hmmm ... well I have been lacking visits to the trees ... the bush walks I used to do. Anyways ... just saying why I have been so intent with developing a running routine. I have been helping my grandson by giving him new positive experiences like I do for myself. That way I know I am not being selfish and it feels good to be giving back. He gives me what I can not get at home. I'll be playing with him again in the morning.

I go get my sleep ... Hoping you are as well as can be.

Night Night ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[salvator here]

Thanks so much for your in depth guidance and advice in your last two detailed postings. When I wake up now, its takes a good 15 minutes to get my brain working, but I have read everything more than a few times and found it extremely helpful and might write about most of it in my journal as it will apply to me and not to clog up yours; also I feel at times conflicted and it doesn't always help others and can (and has) triggered conflicted thoughts to others from what I'm told. I don't mean to, but I often project my conflicted ideas/opinions on to others, even when I'm trying to help others here sometimes I accidentally do that unintentionally. I do mean well though.

I just wanted to respond to your 3rd to last posting about water fasting and you asked me if I was on medication. After reading that, for now I'm going to put it on the back burner and try another time since I am on 3 meds. I don't like it but I don't seem to do well without them and my doctor is of the opinion the less meds at the lowest dose is for the best which is the only reason I continue to stay with him. Besides he's been my doc for many years. I don't like being on them because they have toxic side effect.

I take a low dose diuretic to keep down the systolic blood pressure. The particular med depletes potassium so I also need a supplement for that. Also have to take a med for asthma. Without that one, I do get attacks, so I feel this one is needed. Again, toxic side effects that effect the immune system system. Because my cholesterol has been high (despite that fact that I hardly ever eat fried foods) seems to mean that it could be hereditary so I'm on a DREADED statin drug that will rot my liver. Other than some supplements here and there for various reasons, that's about it for meds right now. So maybe water fasting could be dangerous with that combination.

I will watch the pod cast when I have more time as it takes quite some time to load on my slow DSL depending on if others people are also heavenly using it since its shared connection. Might post today about you 2nd to last posting because a lot of what you wrote applies to me and I'll hopefully be able to utilize it now.

Take care and enjoy your day.

[Dahila]

Congrats Salvator that's an achievement. The fasting in my situation must be under care for diabetics. Next week I am going to do my test and see how my way of eating works if it still work. Market was good, I changed packaging for my salves , i have three sizes now and it seems to sell much better. Soaps are making an impression on people

[Ponder]

I hear Ya Salvator. All very good points. Please understand you can say anything you want to in here. Projecting is what we humans do. I like to see other peoples perspectives too. Srry I can't reply in full today ... my actives are catching up on me today

Glad things have picked up at the markets once again D. That's great news!

[salvator here]

Thank you so much Dahila and Ponder

Hope you both have a great day!

[Ponder]

Morning Guys - Thanks Savlator ... I just crawled out of bed for the second time this morning and still waking up:

Please excuse the embedding of such a large pic but I needed something inspiring to fill my screen. This pic I prepared earlier. It was taken from my front door. I went to check if it was bin night and was like . I stopped doing whatever it was I was doing grabbed my phone took a few shots and now glad I did!

I'm also using some mild tunes to help me tune into the day. Click on the pic and you'll hear what I'm listening to at the time of this writing. (please excuse those annoying YouTube adds)

I'm even having COFFEE Despite the ringing in my rings, it's working!!! *&^# iT!!! ... I do beleive I will have another one. (I'm an addict when it comes to such things)

Thing is I woke up at 2:30am and could not get back to sleep. I was tired as all &^%# ... I'm sure you know the feeling. Eventually after some more suffering I went back to sleep only to wake back up in a haze of "errrrrrrr I still feel like shit." So it was I dug up that old photo I previously took and started playing some vibes to help me focus. Then I thought *&%$ it ... I'm having coffee.

Now I am good enough to at least go through the motions. Nothing worse for me than not completing my routine on what I must. Where I went wrong the day before was giving in and eating chocolate and likewise things - I started with first overeating. The injury I have sustained I have diagnosed but just feeling down about it's limitations to my routine ... No Matter ... going to Mix things up by hitting the weights until it comes good once again. Then I will be back to running in no time at all.

Just do some cross training to give the ligaments in my foot time to heal ... although I'll still be walking!!!

Anyways ... I'm now good and will keep moving as I must, but first; time for that other cup! (I don't usually drink but when I do it works like a charm!)

[Ponder]

Nailed the Gym workout ... foot is even feeling ten times better. Only thing thing now is; I'm buzzing like a church bell that knows no end!

I think a well timed run later on may do the trick. No more coffee!!! Drink plenty of water and lots of watery fruits.

[salvator here]

Good to hear! Glad your injury was better and you were able to workout today despite the lack of sleep the previous night. It took more than a few cups of both coffee and tea to get started today as well, even a mountain dew at the store (been years since I drank that nasty stuff - YUK). I was able to walk though, but I was clumsy and ended up a bit sore on the tops of me feet and slight numbness (I have back trouble that causes this at times). Still glad I pushed through it.

What a beautiful picture and that is an amazing sky over there!

Take care.

[Ponder]

Yea - I have to admit after my last post on the thread regarding alcohol and anxiety ... that cheating never helps. I've been paying big time for using likewise stimulants. Fair enough the coffee got me started man, but I have been sleeping like shit that last two nights since I started back on coffee. I don't like preaching like some kind of priest that has vile hatred of all things nice. I LOVE COFFEE! and all that things that are not so good for me. Typically they are things that taste nice and heaps of fun whilst consuming.

When I was younger and seemingly indestructible, I would of course base the benefits of such consumables on pure taste, happiness and fun. This is how I used to reason that things like smoking - of all things - was good because it reduced my stress. So too I find this reasoning (Oh but it helps me sleep, relaxes me, makes me feel good - it's good for my cortisol lvls ... lol Not only have I heard it all before ... I use likewise excuses myself) commonly used regarding alcohol, savories, sugary sweets + likewise destructive beverages and foods. Such fleeting benefits are short lived and extremely outweighed by the wake of suffering that always follows.

SIGH - Is all good though. Once the psychology is understood that goes into making us WANT these things, making us think we NEED these things; that elusive quality called MOTIVATION comes to light and the desire to rid ourselves of self destructive habits becomes strong. At the very least we start to get a grip on just how much we continue to poison and make BS excuses. At least is how I now operate and or what I tell myself. Whatever works right?
__________________________________________________ ____________________________________

My alternative to less processed natural stimulant Vs Coffee ... is a large knob of cold press Ginger in my freshly pressed veggie juice. The key here is to compare the beneficial chemicals in either source but more so note that one has negative side effects whilst the others has none! Hmmm well not that is quite true. Today's food is not really food. It's full of pesticides, lacks minerals and bla bla bla ... but for the most part I think the lesson is - avoid poisons at all cost. Caffeine is a poison. One can reason with the dosages to make it some kind of staple source in order to justify using it to routinely wake ones self up. BUT - over time it's poisoning the (CNS) central nervous system and falls into that benefits Vs negatives and the negatives just like sugar and alcohol also win out. Again the theory of moderation is null and void once you factor in the long term damage. Convenience and comfort binded with marketing campaigns blind us to the alarming facts.

Fact is ... if you need something to wake one self up, when it is in fact time to get up; then something is wrong! Using stimulants goes against keeping in sync and if one is not in snyc then whatever it is that one is doing - is obviously amiss.

Whatever Dave ... just be sure to keep telling yourself! LOL ... Seriously I still eat the odd piece of shit. The difference with me is that I don't mind calling it what it really is and I also no longer attribute BS excuses as to why I pleasure myself when I do. Everything we do comes at a cost. Arrrrr - the pleasure and pain of life itself. What's a guy or gal to do. Once you pass 30 this day and age, you'll soon discovery this kind of philosophy. Most certainly after 40 and into 50. The latter where I will be two years from now. Truth is we now have teens doping dead because of food.

__________________________________________________ ____________________________

I best make this wonder drink to help me kick off at the Gym! Fuck the sleepless nights since starting back up on coffee. I think the fact that the caffeine has hit my CNS so hard is testament to just how clean my body is compared to your average main stream junky that hits up with stims early in the mornings, tops up midday with something starchy and then later winds down with something sweet! Smiles at such a thought because I now that's exactly it!

STRETCH it out Dave ... Stretch it out, drink plenty of water without washing yourself out ... keep on keeping strong with new found motivation.

I just found out some more information ... but first I get my morning session out of the way ... my morning trip to the office and that work out of the way.
____________________

Basically I found a little marketing presentation that whilst full of it's own agenda, to have some good insights re various food groups and in tune with a path I know to be true for me. Is on the path of plant based eating ... why grains are no good ... 10% meats (if you must) and all that kind of thing. BUT ... Moreover ... hits hard on the chemical negatives such as Inhibitors/Anti Nutrients, Lectins, Phytic acid, as well as those that drive our energy levle up without the need for any stimulants at all!!!!!!!

BUT - you have to read in between the lines and above all ... try these things out for yourself and make judgments based only when you have a clean system that can tell. I remind myself of this point as it not only motivates me once again ... but give reason to why I must keep all things balanced. You can't make BS excuses knowing one is not FIT to do so ... *&^% UNFIT is the slogan at the gym and I think YEA ... I will incorporate it into the science approach.

Righto ... Stretch ... press ... drink then go enjoy being able to do your thing at the gym. SIGH → @ the gym ... serves its purpose while I have less about 6 months left.

OK ... I am done.

GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Um ... I think the coffee is still talking.

[Ponder]

Having said all of that ... time for a coffee!