I feel bad when I 'get my own way'

[snowberry]

I've had this issue for my whole life, but it's really coming to the fore in this instance.

My family are thinking of adopting some cats, and my mum has been looking at some on shelter websites and so on.

I found a trio of gorgeous kitties who need to be re-homed together. Mum wanted us to adopt 2, but I kept mentioning the kitties and now it seems as if we may actually enquire about adopting them.

Instead of feeling ecstatic, I feel really bad...like I've pushed my family into this. Although adopting kitties was mum's idea, these three cats were entirely my own fancy. I really don't want the family to agree to adopt them just for my sake, I want them to want them too, without influence from me.

There's also the fact that there is 3 and mum originally wanted 2. I also feel bad about that. Plus it will be a long ass drive to go and see them, and I can't drive, so it won't be me doing it.

I just don't want to push people into doing things 'my way'. I can't broach the subject with my family because then it just seems like I'm trying to be too generous to their feelings by deferring to their approval.

Argh. I don't want to feel like this, but those kitties absolutely must be wanted equally by my family, and not just because of me. Am I in the wrong? I have aspergers so this is legitimately hard for me to understand/deal with.

[Kirk]

You are not wrong. I would not worry.

[Spider666]

You seem to be worrying too much. Relax, and try and talk to your family instead.

[DizzyPixie]

I feel like that too when arguing with my parents. I try so hard to win the argument but if it happens I feel bad. I also feel bad when some people try to get along with me despite being against things I am or I believe in, even though I don't feel bad for being or believing those things.