Once More Into The Breach

[LadyAustringer]

Hey. I'm... not sure why I'm here, to be honest. Over the last two decades I've been diagnosed with an ever-changing list of "illnesses": generalized anxiety, PSTD, panic disorder, social anxiety, depression, agoraphobia (not to mention a rather bizarre array of other phobias). The diagnoses seem to change depending in the person I am seeing at the moment, and honestly... none of them feel right. Doesn't really matter, anyhow, as over the years of therapy with various people I've actually built up a fairly useful repertoire of coping mechanisms. I was barely able to function when I was in my late teens and early twenties, but I've been able to hold down a job for the past ten years, and even re-enrolled in university a year and a half ago. I've even done some travelling: not bad for someone who ten year ago was hardly able to bear leaving the house at all.

Still... right now it's hard. It seems when life gets rough, the coping suffers. And it's been rough. The last six months have included:
- my boyfriend was killed by a drunk driver
- the job I loved suddenly ended due to funding cuts
- I started a new art business type thing full time. I have my first exhibition next month, and another in May after that, and yet a third in negotiations for the fall
- started a new part time job that I hate, to help cover the bills
- applied to change education institutions, and changed my major from biological sciences to digital media design; the final application portfolio is due the end of February
- my best friend and closest confidante moved to another country
- my sister (with whom I am also extremely close) moved three hours away to her husband's farm with her new baby. What with the kid and the farm, I don't see much of her at all.

I can feel myself cracking. Last night was the first night in a while that I woke up thinking I was about to die. It happened four times. I haven't had nighttime panic attacks in years. It's scary- not just the panic, but that it's popping up again. I was at my part time job today and had several near-attacks, where I was able to calm myself down. A couple I was... less successful at. I was so exhausted and burnt by noon that I made a lame "family emergency" excuse to my boss and went home, and took tomorrow off too. It's not super truthful, but I don't get sick days. I had the flu two months ago and they made me come in, even though I was puking into a garbage can every 30-45 minutes. The idea of going back there fills me full of dread. But I have to, since it is the only "reliable" income I have, even though my entrepreneurial efforts at least triple what I make there. The art money comes in bulk chunks, though, and not regularly. When Friday comes... I dunno what I'm doing to do.

So I guess that's why I'm here. I'm afraid of the fear.

[LadyAustringer]

Wait... is there a way to delete my account? I've been reading some of "PanicCured"s articles and they seem like 1) he's the Big Dude here and 2) what he says is utter hogwash. Like, seriously. I'd like to see some of his sources that aren't "I took a bunch of supplements and I dunno but now I'm cured". What kind of snake oil is this place??

"If you are having a panic attack, do not seek a safe person or safe place. The seeking will make you feel worse. All you have to do is sit and do nothing and allow the chemicals to pass through you and metabolize. It can go away in a matter of minutes if you just sit and relax, and watch it flow by you. The symptoms are caused by passing chemicals but they will only pass if you let them. Ride it out. Let it pass. It only takes a few minutes."

Ha. That is not cured- that is learned helplessness. If you tie a terrified dog up next to the thing it is terrified of, then sure, eventually it will stop screaming and trying to get away. But that is not teaching the dog how to deal with the situation, or that the situation is not dangerous. That just teaches that the learner has no effect on the environment. That is right dangerous, dudes. Flooding is no way to train an animal, and if we would not train an animal that way, why the heck would we use the method on people.

If that is the caliber of help offered here by owners-moderators-whatever-he-is, I am better off elsewhere- where medically proven methodologies are encouraged, not pooh-poohed. If someone could point me to the delete account button, I would be obliged.

[Kirk]

Welcome to the forum. What works for one person may not work for another. I would not worry about what others say will or will not work.
You may need to experiment in order to determine what works best for you. Try the forum for a while. Bounce ideas off others. Ask for advice.
Share ideas. See how it goes. Give the forum a chance. It may help you.

[salvator here]

If that is the caliber of help offered here by owners-moderators-whatever-he-is, I am better off elsewhere- where medically proven methodologies are encouraged, not pooh-poohed. If someone could point me to the delete account button, I would be obliged.

Welcome to anxietyforum; I hope you will give us a chance, there are a lot of nice people here that are willing to listen. If you look around here a bit, you will see that there are many different views on topics and they are not always in (total) agreement. Since I've been a member, I've not noticed that there is any specific agenda here other than a safe place to share ideas for those with anxiety. Sometimes we even just go off topic and distract ourselves from our anxiety (distraction is sometimes also a good coping mechanism).

As I say.. since I've been a member, from what I can tell, the staff pretty much leaves us alone as long as we behave ourselves. Sure, I've seen some tense moments here and there and people that are super passionate within regard to what believe, but (Normally) people don't push anything onto other members; I wouldn't say anything is encouraged or discouraged here.

Have a look around and feel free to start a new thread and we are happy to here what you have to say.

Take good care

EDIT: I've been reading your posting in its entirety now and I (truly) wish I could offer some solid advice for you for everything you're going through, but I'd grasping at straws. I guess I'll just say this much though, some of us here aren't working at all (I'm not at the moment, but hope one day this will turn-around for me). Jobs are hard to come by these days and many struggle with jobs they hate, but the bills have to get paid somehow. I think your doing quite well given your circumstances to be able to work at all. Good luck with starting your own business and I hope your first exhibition goes well.

Again, I wish you well!

[gypsylee]

Hi and welcome,

PanicCured is not the Big Dude here lol.. I am

Nah noone is. I actually like it because moderated forums can be really anal eg. Mention suicide and your post is gone. Here you can say anything. So it's a double-edged sword - people will say things you think are complete bs but at the same time you can talk your own shit. It's like the Wild West of Anxiety!

Cheers,
Gypsy x

[jessed03]

Hey,

If you message the mods, they'll delete your account. I'd encourage you to stay, though! I've met some of the nicest, most supportive people on this forum. Some of whom I'm still in contact with today.

PanicCured leans towards the Linden Method way of healing (which is an holistic anti-med strategy). Charles Linden's approach didn't work for me, but if you read reviews of his book, some people seem to find value in his methods.

Personally, I'm a lot like you when it comes to treatment. I prefer that which has been tested and validated.

You'll find lots of different people and philosophies on here. Just stick to those that suit you best.

[RossySoonDone]

The list of illnesses you describe as being diagnosed with all stem from anxiety - don't see them as separate illnesses. If you have a cold or the flu it manifests in many different ways but ultimately, if you cure yourself from the cold everything else related to it follows and that is also the case for anxiety so make anxiety your main focus, not everything in between.

You yourself mention that you built up a set of "coping mechanisms" over the years... if you're just looking to get by and cope with the anxiety then by all means seek a safe person or safe place. This however is counter productive of the healing path when you look to CURE yourself from anxiety, and thats what you should focus on doing because you can! .

When Kirk says "what works for one person may not work for another" applies to the different types of coping mechanisms, sure. I mean, one person may prefer to be alone whereas another may seek comfort in others. HOWEVER, in terms of curing the nervous illness (which everyone surely should be aiming for), the fundamental principles to recovery remain the same and one of those principles is to not seek a safe person/safe, place as PanicCure suggests. Think about it, if every time you feel anxious or panicky and you seek safety, you're telling your subconscious that you need that safe place to feel a sense of normality. Its like having a child that cries every time he/she wants a toy or some candy when shopping; if you constantly give in to their plea it will eventually make them associate throwing a tantrum to getting what they want, and we all know how this ends up in the long run...

The attitude you take towards the information given is not the right attitude to take if you wish to be CURED. By no means is anyone stopping you from deleting your account but I urge you to build a greater understanding! I hope that post from PanicCured does not deter you from the right path to recovery because forums such as this can be a very counterproductive place if you look in the wrong areas.

You can do it LadyAustringer!

[RossySoonDone]

It didn't work for you because you likely didn't do everything as explained! It takes a while to comply but I'm slowly but surely getting there. For one, even being on this forum and finding different philosophies is not the right move for recovery, you should surely know this if you did the method.

[jessed03]

It didn't work for you because you likely didn't do everything as explained! It takes a while to comply but I'm slowly but surely getting there. For one, even being on this forum and finding different philosophies is not the right move for recovery, you should surely know this if you did the method.

Just because someone rejects the spurious claims of the Linden Method, doesn't mean they didn't do everything Charles proposes properly.

I gave the program a fair try, but found it was too basic and too superficial for my needs. My anxiety stemmed from trauma and unhealthy beliefs. Sitting up straight and forcing myself to go to class every day didn't quite cut it when it came to a cure.

I appreciate the Linden Method may help mild cases of anxiety, and that some people have benefited from it, but let's cut the crap. I don't know whether you're one of Charles' many paid mouthpieces. I don't care. I just want you to stop alluding to the fact there's a one-size-fits-all approach to anxiety. There's a reason no major health provider and no major scientific body has endorsed the Linden Method in the 25 years it's been around. Because it doesn't stack up to rigorous scrutiny.

So leave people to explore in order to find the philosophy and method that works best for them.

And fyi, your understanding of the subconscious mind is amateur. It isn't like a child, it's a complex processing system. Its job is to communicate with another part of the brain in order to help you survive. Sometimes messages between the two can become mixed-up and a Linden-like approach is useful. But sometimes anxiety is the subconscious mind alerting the conscious, rational mind that there's a serious imbalance that needs fixing. Quitting meds and ignoring the problem like Linden suggests can be catastrophic. And of course people like you then come along and accuse such people of not following the method properly.

I'd have far more respect for the method if Linden was honest and less manipulative, and admitted his method was one idea, and not the "cure all" that he claims.

[gypsylee]

I prefer the Zef Method myself.

https://youtu.be/cegdR0GiJl4

I'm not even joking actually. This whole Linden approach sounds boring. A lot of people with anxiety and other mental illnesses are that way inclined because they have an imaginative, creative nature. It just goes a bit haywire in a world that doesn't particularly value creativity. So this "stiff upper lip" stuff isn't going to cut it and thank god for that or we'd have more boring damn people covering the planet.