how do you cope with anxiety in different situations

[Bridgie]

Oh Flower, everytime I have to get together with my family I get all phobic. It's not like we have a bad relationship, in fact, it's very good. And once there I feel okay and have a good time. But for some reason the anxiety leading up to it gets really bad. Now that Christmas is coming, I feel like my anxiety is rising again like it did before Thanksgiving. I don't know why, but it really affects me.

[brickyard_red]

I hear ya loud and clear! My anxiety has been getting worse lately too. I mean, I'll be sitting at home in my own livingroom and all of a sudden my heart will start to race and my head will get all light headed feeling and my hands clamp up and get all clammy. I went to see my dr. about this about two weeks ago and I am now on a new med. along with the one I was already taking and I have Xanax that I can take at the time of a panic attack.

Getting together with family can be very stressful. It's almost like with them it's worse because you want everything to be extra perfect BECAUSE they are your family, you know? *sigh

Hang in there, we'll all get through this together, k?

Cath

[flower29]

I don't cope well I either take anxiety pills or run and hide that's the truth. but lately i have been going to this site and giving advice and listening to advice so iguess that is acoping device. Even though I give people what i think is good advice i ca,t seem top do it myself. Ironic isn't it.

[Identity]

I work in a freaking supermarket so just imagine how I feel.

For me, anxiety all started about two years ago. When I use to catch a bus to school my face would twitch and so I would pretty much have one of my hands leaning agaisnt my face all the way until I got to school. When I got out I was fine and it was all good but when time came to catch the bus home it would happen all over again. But now I believe my face is playing up more and more and now I pretty much have my hand on my face all day at school aswell. Its a real shame because I use top be very confident and laid back. Sometimes when I go out at night I can be normal as normal and some other times I just can't cope. The corner of my left mouth is constantly swollen and I believe its only noticable when Im stressing, I have no idea why. Im sort of in a downhill spiral. I get anxierty when my mouth plays up and my mouth plays up when I am feeling stressed. It's getting worse and worse.

As a young teenager I have and still do stress alot about things but its becomeing worse and worse.

I need to find the courage to see a doctor...

[shoe]

Identity, thats certainly a unique thing, your mouth swelling up, I'd definitely see a doctor about it. The sooner the better! =) Do your parents know about this? maybe they could bring you in

[kamal]

good suggestion guys

[Maggie May]

Are you feeling uncomfortable seeing a doctor because you're afraid of what they might tell you? Just so you know, muscle twitches and swelling aren't symptoms of cancer, HIV, or insanity.

I do know that muscle twitches are sometimes a symptom of dehydration. Maybe you could try drinking a glass of Gatorade before you go to bed and one before you leave the house in the morning.

Are the swelling and twitches something that others have noticed, I mean, is it obvious to someone looking at you? Or is it unnoticeable to someone who's not looking for it? Just wondering. And do you always feel anxious before, during or after the twitching and swelling?

Keep in mind that 1 in 7 Americans experience an anxiety disorder at some point in their lives, and anxiety disorders never lead to death, disease or insanity. You're not alone!

Let us know what happens,

Maggie

[soshy]

I do a lot of self-talk. My social anxiety use to be so out of control that it was rare for me to go anywhere without being petrified. I do better in public places where you can get "lost in a crowd." I tell myself repeatedly, "You're ok, everything is going to be fine. You're doing really well. You can leave anytime you want." It's almost like I'm talking to a child when they are scared, or what I would want to hear a supportive friend tell me if they were with me. You have to be a good friend to yourself. You may not like yourself but if you say internal negatives all the time - you won't win any battles.

This may sound really weird, but it really helped me:
When I first started confronting my social fears, I stopped looking at people especially in the eyes when it wasn't necessary. Example - when going to the grocery store or somewhere busy like that, as I walked down the isles I would tell myself "No one is looking at you; all they are focusing on is getting what they need; and if you don't look at them they won't look at you." I tried to tell myself that I was sort of invisible - just another shopper. When looking up to search for what I needed, and if someone was in my line of vision, I trained myself to glance over them or to the side of them as if they weren’t there, trying very hard not to look at them so that I wouldn't get nervous. It really worked and I always had a list with me even though I didn't need it, so if I felt anxious, I would look down at the list to seem as though I was busy with that.

Another trick is staring off into space, especially when waiting in line, even though I was having anxiety, I forced myself to stare off into space to avoid eye contact and to seem as though I'm relaxed even though I was scared; and if you ever noticed, many people/non-social phobics do that unconsciously - it's normal.

Now, I can go into any store without a problem because I practiced going often using tricks/coping skills. Now I can even talk to people while waiting in line and enjoy it.

Social Phobies can get better :!: :agree:

soshy

[shoe]

soshy, thats good advice about the positive self-talk. All the negative self-talk we are prone to use really brings us down and makes us less likely to want to do the same thing again. I need to do that positive self talk and self-congratulating too.. I just feel corny doing it hehe

The eye contact thing.. I try to avoid it myself but it seems to be more of a problem when I'm standing around. If I'm walking along then its not so bad, and I can look at people and attempt a smile or a nod now and then if they return the glance.

I also have tried observing what other people are doing, where they are looking etc. when in a grocery store to see if I could 'mimic' them in a way. Its weird how hard I try sometimes just to be like everyone else.. whereas without anxiety I would probably be doing those types of things naturally. Argh, us anxious types do too much thinking and obsessing darnit! :cranky: make it stop!! hehe

[soshy]

Hey shoe - positive self-talk was really hard for me to do in the beginning...almost impossible :nono: . As you say, *corny* it sure can be; and the positive messages are really hard to believe as you say them to yourself because you're thinking the opposite- but it works!

It was a real battle for me to say anything positive or nice to myself, because back then I was extremely dire...ya just couldn't budge me :dry: ...I hated my life and myself.

My therapist wrote a list out for me and had me take it home to say aloud, cause I couldn't do it in front of her. I still had a hard time with it, so that's when she suggested that I imagine a small child who was scared and needed me to say these things to help the child. Finally it worked. Sometimes I use to pretend it was a dog or a cat that was scared; because sadly, I'm better with animals than people.

And just to note: my cat thinks he is wonderful and can do anything!
I wonder how he got that way :?:.

silly, corny soshy