Hi all, feeling pretty lonely, anxious and stressed at the moment but here because think the anxiety is the root to many of my issues and like many here, I don't have anyone to talk it through with. And sometimes just talking helps. I guess here's not the place to go into details so I'll see where to start a new thread.
I looked around briefly and seems like more info here might be helpful:
Mid forties male. Never been able to get an incident in childhood out of my mind which has affected many areas of my life. Seems ridiculous. It was probably first few days at school, aged 4. Sensetive kid, cried, wanting to be home with mum. I must have been talking to a girl sat next to me. The teacher (female) tells me to stand on the table and tell the class what we were talking about. I can't remember what happened then - I've blanked it out but it was obviously extreme embarrassment and shame. One life ruined in that moment.
I couldn't enjoy reading through the rest of my education for fear of reading aloud. I couldn't talk comfortably in a group. I still struggle.
Today I'm married with children. But I'm quite lonely. My parents died 3 and 10 years ago. My work is very solitary. A choice I now see stemming from my social anxiety. CBT has worked for me in the past and I'm trying to use it now but the relentless strain of everything becoming overwhelming.. has me feeling cornered and putting my head in the sand about mounting work and financial issues. I've always been one to find something positive and see it as a low point that will soon improve but I'm feeling quite worried about it all now. That's why I'm here.