I hadn't had a panic attack for 2 weeks and last night my anxiety spiked for the first time in recent history. It happened while I was reading the graphic novel entitled The Alcoholic by Jonathan Ames and Dean Haspiel. Every time the narrator described his experience going to parties or having success in school and sports I could feel myself getting uneasy. I didn't go to a university, I took community college classes so I didn't really have that college experience of partying and meeting new people. In high school I would spend the weekends with my friends and we would drink but we rarely held parties and almost never went or were invited to anyone else's parties. There's a part of me that feels so inferior because growing up I didn't have this experience. I'd say I was pretty unpopular in high school, but I was even more socially anxious which inhibited my social possibilities. I think I missed out on a lot, which hurts. Even now I think I'm missing out on things because I'm too scared of social interaction. I have only 1 friend I see regularly. I have support groups as well that I go to, but that's not exactly a party lol.
I guess I'm looking for ideas on how to move on from this pain. The past is the past and I can't change it, maybe just re-frame it and move forward. I don't want this feeling of inferiority to other people's social lives continue to cause me anxiety, yearning, and sadness. Do people here have similar experiences? Thanks everyone.