Hello everyone,
i'm new to forum,actually started searching things about anxiety yesterday and came to this forum,well i've known for a long time i'm worried beyond limits and worry/whine much more than other people i know,but now i really feel i need to do something serious about it,cause it's already ruining my life and as i'm engaged and have wedding soon,i'm affraid if this doesn't stop i'll have some serious problems with everyone in family,with friends or in social life.
First of all i'm so anxious about the wedding,being in the center of attention,people looking at me it just makes me want to cancel it all
constantly worring about what people think about anything i do,never am comfortable around people, comparing myself to other and what they have done that i do not have done,thinking if they are judging me,if my parents are dissapointed with me;what new family members think of me,and i'm so awkward around them it's almost funny. When i try to think normaly and not look at life as something i have to be afraid of,i realize everything's not that bad,i'm not that bad,but oooh the anxiety,it ruins it all.
I really think,talking about it to strangers might help me,also consider visiting phsycologist,but don't know if i will be able to talk openly. Have never talkedabout it to friend,parents or anyone,cause they won't understand,have had multiple bursts but my mom have just always been too busy,so i had to deal with it myself and still am,that's how it'ssupposed to be i guess,only genuine help you are gonna get is from yourself and i want to help me,as i want to be able to live happily and optimistically.
Thanks for reading my thoughts