Depression + Anxiety

[Marrin]

I don't know if people can actually relate to this, but I often go through life with a lot of anxiety. For example talking to other people which I don't know very well or missing deadlines in my job. Which puts so much pressure on me that in the end I decide it's not worth trying anymore, because I will probably fail anyway. I then feel very bad, because I didn't do anything. I try to supress this feeling by convincing myself that this is not a big deal or in general try to distract myself. But in the evening when going to sleep I feel so bad about myself, because I worry so much and don't care at the same time. I don't know if this makes sense to you.

[Remdio]

I can actually relate this to myself. I used to get bullied a lot in school which is probably why I have so much anxiety talking to other people. On the other hand I try to cope with it by distracting myself and just be alone in my room all the time. This makes perfectly sense to me. Thanks for the share

[superchick22684]

This post makes a lot of sense to me. I find talking to other people that I don't know very anxiety triggering. I don't decide to stop trying but I do have the tendency to feel like I've failed. What I've learned is that the voice that's telling you that you're a failure is a big liar. That's the depression talking.

How do you cope with your anxiety/depression? Are you on meds, in therapy, use relaxation exercises/meditation?

[Marrin]

I started meditating a few weeks ago. It really helps me to calm down and see things differently, but sometimes I feel just too bad. Maybe I should consider meds. I don't know.

[columbia123]

I understand this, I am actually very glad that I came across your post. My bad-this is a wordy post, but I hope if anything you can find it relatable and that you are not alone! I'm a 4th year college student and have been struggling with this for the past few years. I've always dreaded interacting with people. It's gotten a lot better now, I can handle one on one conversations. However in group discussions, especially for work or class- I freeze. I would initially panic and then I just disconnect. I would feel so insecure and unintelligent because I have nothing to add, and this constant worrying feeds itself. My closer friends think I'm aloof and lack common sense. I feel useless when there is a problem, even a small one. And so people around have noticed, ignoring me and thinking of me as incompetent. I feel so bad and I don't know if there is something wrong with me. I am not doing that good in my classes due to constant procrastinating: cramming, not turning in assignments, skipping class-just downright no effort. I am scared that I will not be able to succeed, I kinda know it now. And so I just give up. I tell myself that I care and I think I really do but I just end up not doing things either because the possibility of rejection and failure terrifies me or I just shut down. I don’t understand why I lack motivation. And it’s a cycle that keeps feeding itself, I don’t do well on something leads to me feeling ashamed which leads me to not even try, and this culminates in a persistent sense of worthlessness.

I also have horrible issues with thinking clearly and brain fog.It’s become difficult for me to link concepts together in my head. I’ve become generally slow in thinking, which is frustrating because I didn’t have this problem growing up. At this point I doubt there is anything wrong with me, I just don’t know and it’s so frustrating and tiring. I'm so tired of waking up everyday feeling like this. I don't remember the last time I was ok. During my better periods I kinda of just block everything out and it helps a lot, but then eventually everything hits me and I break down. Even when I'm doing ok I get so scared that I'll get pulled down again or something bad will happen. I feel like I can't breathe and I'm constantly running away from something. Whenever I do try to talk to someone I feel like I'm being so petty, every time I feel worse afterwards- I feel naked and vulnerable and guilty for complaining. They are dealing with actual issues so I don't want to burden them or come across as attention seeking and selfish. I tried going to therapy two years ago, it was after a really bad period, but it didn't amount to anything and I just ended up telling them what I thought they wanted to hear to make myself seem stable. I try to tell myself it will get better, and if anything that gives me a sense of hope to keep me going, but it’s running thin, and I’m terrified of accepting and knowing that this is who I am.

[Marrin]

Columbia I can relate to this so much. Thanks for sharing the story. Really helps me to feel not alone in these things.

[solin9]

I know how you feel.I have had bouts of depression + anxiety attacks.I would not recommend taking meds because that would not help you in the long run.What we want is a cure that will help us be more stronger,happier and independent.Meds would give you relief but only temporarily.Consider taking long walks to calm your mind.What is it that you like doing?Find a favorite hobby so that you can keep yourself distracted when all the negative thoughts come pouring in.I meditate everyday in the morning and it helps.It may be hard at first to calm your mind and sit still for a long time.But if you do it everyday on a daily basis then you will get the hang of it.I still get these dep + anx attacks but I have learned to calm myself though I still need help at times.

[Procrastinator]

Fortunately I have a partner I can reach out to. If you have someone to talk to I find that can help. Assuming they are a good listener and not there to minimize or judge. Hopefully that is an option for you.

[Basketball]

Worry about everything and don't care about anything.
I think thats a perfect description for depression/anxiety.

I also saw another quote about social anxiety that I thought described it pretty well.
-Anxiety is wanting to be alone but never wanting to be lonely

[Ponder]

I'm going to go out on a limb here and offer up another perspective to this whole ordeal of Depression & Anxiety. I've been quite active in this forum for some years now and can't help but see a pattern of addiction. For now I will just add one of the results from a quick search string ... "The Addiction of Anxiety" ... Yes ... that's right ... all to often we become addcited to the only emotions we have ever known that when the opportunity for healing comes along, we fall further into denial and cling to our pain like a child sucks his bot bot.

Here is one link that I am yet to fully check out ... I know the Book - that much of this article is based on "EMOTIONAL FREEDOM Liberate yourself from negative emotions and transform your life." By Dr Judith Orloff.

The blog: Are You Addicted to Anxiety? Learn How Not to Be



Cool ... it's actually written by the doctor herself. I'll be! I really don't do doctors ... not ones in white coats. BUT I got to say this doc is not like others. She is an energy psychiatrist that teaches people how to tune in and deal with problems so there is no need to keep coming back. Once you discover the power of emotions and how jacked up on anxiety and depression we get, a sense of liberation does take place as the title suggests! I remember this book as if yesterday coming to just that realization after having listened to this book - over and over again.

Most of us are simply hooked on the drama, symptoms and labels. It's easy to stay hooked rather than do what it takes to give up the addiction. Being addicted to addiction itself.