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  1. #1
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    Oct 2016
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    Unhappy Unsupportive mom?

    So for those who don't know, I'm 13 years old and I have GAD (not diagnosed, and this is one of the main reasons why, but I'm 100% sure I have it because the symptoms are too similar)

    Okay, so with almost 3 months of struggling with an anxiety disorder, all I've ever done is self help, no support (some but not very much) and no therapist. I've been struggling all on my own.
    And while the self help has helped me quite well, I still feel like something is missing, like I'm not doing something right. I decided I had enough of struggling on my own and self help and that I needed therapy and someone to talk to in real life who had experience/ a therapist.

    Half an hour ago, I purposely started showing scenarios of my anxious feelings and thoughts to my mom. She noticed, and we had a little talk about it. But I didn't even start explaining and she started yelling, telling me how much I stress her out with my anxiety, asking me why I can't be normal like other kids, why can't I just shut my thoughts off and think positive.
    I told her it's not that easy and at this point I was scared to even tell her I have a disorder. She started telling me how I will end up in a mental asylum if I continue thinking like this. This triggered my anxiety even more and I started tearing up but I had to turn my head away cause it would only make it worse.

    Don't get me wrong, my mom is the best mom I could ever have and I love her to death, but when she out of all people doesn't support or understand me when I have this problem, I get really hurt. Also, I'm 13, I shouldn't even be dealing with this on my own (I'm not trying to play victim here, but I have to be honest)

    Honestly, I feel like she's in denial and not very informed about anxiety disorders and panic attacks, because she told me only crazy people think so negatively and anxiously and that it isn't normal. Plus the fact that I live in a country where this isn't very common and for my age neither. So this is the main reason why I can't go to a therapist, because if she reacted this awfully to me just telling her...then there's no way she will take me to a therapist.
    As for my dad, he doesn't know about any of this and I honestly don't want to bother him about it.

    Please don't think my mom is abusive, because I know she isn't, like I already said, I couldn't wish for a better mom. I just feel like she doesn't understand and is probably overwhelmed with my and other problems. But I really can't convince her because she gets so frustrated and emotional because she cares about me but probably doesn't know how to help me and is in denial.

    So can please any of you who had CBT or went to a therapist for GAD, give me some of your advice? I really wanted to try CBT but looks like I can't. If not, anyone know any self help CBT guides? Any help is appreciated, thanks.
    "Everything in life is temporary. So if things are going good, enjoy it because it won't last forever.
    And if things are going bad, don't worry, it can't last forever neither."

  2. #2
    Junior Member
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    Nov 2016
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    Do you attend school? If so, you might want to see your school counselor to discuss this with him/her. They should be able to provide you with some support and possibly refer you to the services you might need.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
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    Oct 2013
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
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    Hey there,

    My mother is really emotionally unsupportive as well.

    You should take a look at Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. My psychiatrist said he thinks it's better than CBT and recommended a book to me called "The Happiness Trap" by Dr Russ Harris. I downloaded it on iBooks and I don't think it cost much. I've read a few chapters and I really like it so far.

    Cheers,
    Gypsy x
    Chaos isn't a pit. Chaos is a ladder. Many who try to climb it fail and never get to try again. The fall breaks them. And some, are given a chance to climb. They refuse, they cling to the realm or the gods or love. Illusions. Only the ladder is real. The climb is all there is. —Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish, Game of Thrones

  4. #4
    Sorry to hear that your mother is not supportive. It's difficult for people to empathise with those who suffer from GAD if they have never experienced an anxiety attack themselves. Breathing techniques, when practised daily for a long period of time, alleviate many symptoms of GAD - especially if you practice during the early stages of GAD. If your anxiety is so bad that you're having an anxiety attack and trembling uncontrollably, I would suggest that you call your mother to come and see you in this condition so that she can take you seriously. There should be support available in your school too (I assume that your not home schooled). Good luck
    Last edited by lolfeg123; 11-10-2016 at 03:31 PM.

  5. #5
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    Nov 2016
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    Since you had not responded since original post, I felt like it was important to check back in to see how you are doing this week?

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by kvolm2016 View Post
    Since you had not responded since original post, I felt like it was important to check back in to see how you are doing this week?
    Oh sorry, I forgot to check my email or this forum for any replies, I guess I got kind of distracted these last few days.
    Anyway, I'm a bit better, yes, I go to school and I have a counselor but wouldn't that mean my parents would find out? Also I was once sent to my school counselor because of my bad grades in math and I got kind of "traumatized" by that because it was unexpected and I was asked a lot of questions so now I'm scared of the counselor.

    I don't know...the only person I can talk to about this is my best friend but I bet she never went through this. Also, my anxiety is like a rollercoaster, these last few days I actually felt some comfort and hope but here I am feeling anxious again today.
    I was thinking about what my mom said and then I kind of started agreeing with her because my anxiety was getting ridiculous, or so I thought. Maybe I was angry at myself, because after all I know it's all irrational.

    Currently I have a lot of quotes, webpages, forum threads, blogs of anxiety things and advice and I'm going to be honest I have atleast 500 of them on my phone.
    I read them everyday and kind of try to dig them into my mind, I even installed a reminder app because honestly I can't remember that much information on my own.

    I try to convince my mom a lot but the problem is I have GAD, not panic attacks. I only had 3 of them in these 3 months, so my anxiety is almost unnoticeable, it's all inside chronic anxiety and honestly a panic attack only happens if my anxiety is at it's worst or it's bad weather/heavy rain/thunderstorms or hearing/thinking about natural disasters (This is my trigger and very hard to deal with and I can never relax myself through this one.)

    Not even sure what I'm asking here, I'm basically trying to try and find the best possible free self help technique or someone that had experience with GAD/Chronic anxiety, not just panic attacks. Also, thanks to the advice I've been given for now! I'll look into ACT (always good to find something new and useful!)
    Last edited by xUnknown; 11-15-2016 at 03:05 PM.
    "Everything in life is temporary. So if things are going good, enjoy it because it won't last forever.
    And if things are going bad, don't worry, it can't last forever neither."

  7. #7
    Junior Member
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    Nov 2016
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    Self-help techniques can absolutely be useful, just like all the quotes you have. And it is great that you are actively trying to manage your GAD. But there may also be other help available to you that would make this less of a rollercoaster and easier for you to manage. I suggested your school counselor mostly because that is a person you have easy access to. But there are also free counseling agencies that you could check out. Here is one I recommend if you are interested because you can discuss your situation with a Focus counselor at no cost by calling 855-382-5433.

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
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    you are just 13 and who diagnosed you with GAD?
    I know that kids get a lot of anxiety,,,,,,,,,, are you a boy or a girl.
    ''“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

 

 

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