Dave's Diary

[jessed03]

P.s. yeah, you were right about Watts not being married to the idea of a "god". I found this quote attributed to him, which clears that up a bit.

“For spirituality is a deep sense of inner freedom based on the realization that one’s self is in complete union and harmony with life, with God, with the Self of the universe of whatever that principle may be called. It is the realization that that union has existed from all time, even though one did not know it, and that nothing in all the world nor anything oneself can do is able to destroy it.”

[Ponder]

Your welcome Gypsy. I'd like to believe I have put the chaotic notion of heaven and hell to bed now which took me quite as like countless others, I had been systematically brainwashed from birth. I'd say the last couple of videos have helped to alleviate fears with respect to reincarnation, it's punishment factor, system of self betterment and various other religious connotations. I found a sense of peace in the understanding of "nothing" and just letting that be. I think Alan paints a good picture of what it's like to experience nothing and yet in that moment feel we come feel alive in a totally new way - renewed in every sense of the word, but in a way that lets us feel everything, everywhere at the same time.

Words fail at that point because I don't want to get to lost with the notion that we become like GOD to which our ego starts to cling and then goes on to propose a hundred more questions that only serve to break that connection we just made with being. None of these insights do us any good when the I in ourselves drags back up all that trivial shit that keeps us from our higher self. I think Alan does a good job by taking yet another step and also exposing the I in higher self. It's like when the shit hits the fan we see that light - we give up our things but then the ego hides in our new found self where it makes us think we are GOD. This is where for me ... the New Age concepts that abound are just as self defeating as that which came before it and people go back to the acquisition of success and things! Ego wins - so called enlightened people go back to becoming tubes. Taking things in one end and outputting the other end. Allowing distractions to take place as fear is still taught with regard to the cycle of life. (reincarnation becomes incarceration and now the new driving force for ego to strive as it does)

Letting all these thoughts go, letting all that thinking evaporate by way of just letting the nothing takes it place is truly an awesome experience - although takes us to a place where nothing happens at all. You can be sure the ego will do anything to stop us from reaching such a point. As Alan has well said ... it is the final place in which the ego can not exist.

I'm not sure if I am making any sense - but I get the feel that I am on the right track. This is where my family of the past would all be screaming out that I have become an agent of the anti-christ. New Agers and other various fear based restricted peoples would define such a direction as pessimistic and no more than a reflection of someone spiritually inept. To give everything up is the ultimate threat to ego and it will do all it can to keep us from reaching such a point. So it is that whilst much of our conditioning has been externally influenced, the most crucial and defining battles that take place; do so within.

How finely tuned our society has become at perpetuating the ego by teaching us to rely on the external things, yet at the first sign of internal conflict; how quick they are to diagnose and come up with reliable prescriptions. Something designed that makes the letting go chemically binding and death defying.

I only talk like so because I know well that was the case for myself and although I have thus far given up and avoided the meds ... the process is the same with everything else and I still struggle with everything else. I refuse to accept that it is I that is chemically imbalanced ... far from it ... I am seeing more than ever now where the scales are tipped. Just as I aim not to jump in the ring, I also aim to step off the scales and leave all the deductions just sail on by through basking in the nothingness that awaits those no longer afraid of what comes next.

Yadda Yadda ... Something like that. :

I hear ya Jess - "... The past and future are mere dreams. Everybody is as they are because of a process that's been in action since the dawn of time. What's the point of hanging on to all that useless narrative chatter, or grudges, or self-hatred, or tension?"


That's an awesome line of thought - if we are to derive any kind of benefit from thinking at all. LOL - hehe ... I hear ya ... that resonates well for me. However I did want to touch on more with regard to "will" - more so in the development of that which comes with a cost ... not that "free bs" kind the many tell us we have.

Then there was that quote you shared above. You have me thinking more on that. TY! - This is developing into a good discussion that is rather helpful.

I still think the term GOD is very off putting and throws the message. It makes a lot more sense just leaving it at "in complete union and harmony with life."

Nothing can destroy it, although our society and minds seek do so ... as is the mind's job to conquer and dominate as is our history. Clearly we now have a new challenges if we are to ever let go and start living. It is in the meeting of these challenges that I poner on a new kind of will that is not free.

Something about regardless or predetermining factors - the difference in those natural and not and how we approach the challenge of overcoming those negative influences designed to keep us trapped ... in fact required some kind of effort in the letting go. (rushing now as I have an appointment in less that 30 minutes with my therapist [smiles at the thought and all this text])

I think of John Kabat-Zinn yet again with regard to making effort effortlessly with the intent to do nothing at all. Gotta love how mediation is such a great help when looking to accept and let go of all those things and thoughts that bind us like so.

Not sure I rambled enough ... no matter ...

I don't even have time to edit ... may do so and or just carry on when I later find time.

Thanks for the feed back ... it's helping big time. You have really hit that nail on the head each time with your replies.

Hope this finds you well D ... srry for all the yadda yadda.

Righto ---- I'm off to ramble some more at my appointment.

Adios - Until next post.

[jessed03]

Agree. That moment you're able to rise above the monkey mind and just see life in pure awareness is amazing. I've only touched that state for mere seconds recently, but those seconds have been revitalising!

The quote in my last post is from Alan's autobiography. I haven't read it, but the extracts on Goodreads are interesting. He talks about his views on spirituality, "perfect" gurus, and his attitudes towards money, his drinking, his drug use, and women. Seems like you get a look at his whole journey.

You can get the pdf here if you haven't yet read the book: https://www.pdf-archive.com/2016/03/...alan-watts.pdf

P.s. D, I hope we're not boring you. I know the convo's turned kind of heavy.

[Ponder]

Nice! TY. Just out putting into practice what I read. will check this out for sure.

Hows things going D? I just had lunch out with the family. : ) This thread has me in a good space. Please continue as you have shared. I also apologize if the discussion is overly indepth. I can only say once more its been very helpful for me; especially for this time of year.

[Ponder]

Contrary to how it may seem, I actually spend a lot of time living life outside this text box. Catching up with my son and meeting his girlfriend was awesome, as too - was lunch. Alas on with the show ... Jesse - You made the Google Search engine with one of your posts:

I was searching for more context on the quote was all.


Just before I launch a game ... I thought I would explain a little more re the quote you have passed on. I'll explain why my mind struggles a little with how it may or may not read. 1st the quote:

“For spirituality is a deep sense of inner freedom based on the realization that one’s self is in complete union and harmony with life, with God, with the Self of the universe of whatever that principle may be called. It is the realization that that union has existed from all time, even though one did not know it, and that nothing in all the world nor anything oneself can do is able to destroy it.”

GOD in Christian terms is known as the Alpha and Omega. The Beginning & End! Hmmm that does not quite sound like a cycle does it? Or is that what that is supposed to mean? I guess not when you consider that Christian believe we only get one life and it's what we choose under the banner of Free Will that determines what happens after our one and only spin. Yea ...Watt's is definitely into looping despite thus far me not knowing his spin on reincarnation. (although I don't think he regards it with too much attention? - I'll check out more of his take on that a little later)



Christians do seem hell bent on dominating the earth and all things on and in it. The Christian Bible - Genisis chapter 1 Verse 26 of the Kings James Bible → "And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth."

That very goal/aim of mankind is very much alive and has but nearly wiped us all out. It just seems a matter of time. Nonetheless I can see that Watt's is talking about one's union in the knowing of how our inner being is at one with the universe and that it is that - that no thing or oneself can do to destroy it.
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Srry to confuse ... Now I can sum up my own conflict when reading that quote ... mostly two things. 1. At first it does sound as though Watt's believes in a GOD - however after unlearning much of what I thought I once knew, I can see he is instead redefining in open terms just what the GOD really be and indeed ... it is far from the external source that Christians believe. Undoubtedly - Watt's must also been known as an AntiChrist. I certainly hope so at any rate. : ) 2. - that Man has indeed destroyed a once deep founded respect and connection between themselves and the planet + all things that live on it. But now having taken the time to review the quote ... I can see he is referring to the union that comes about through knowing that all things are one and the same. That - that cannot be destroyed as much as man will seek to dominate. We will always remain connected no matter how much one seeks to separate. The latter is what is creating all the conflict on our earth and why man's only hope is to do away with such nonsense.

The beginning part of that quote really hits the nail on the head ... don't you think ... with respect that we need not beg, be ashamed or bend our knees in order to be free. In this respect I can see how it is that we are in fact born without sin; not the other way around. Moreover it seems to be more fact that it's man's will that we be corrupted in order to fit in. Such a Will comes with great cost and is far from free as they would have us instead beleive.

Yea - that quote works really well now and I am less conflicted with it. That's the thing with having been brought up in a pentecostal/charismatic evangelical church. It takes years years to undo the psychological damage. Most people never recover. Mental illness abounds coming out the other end.

Thank Goodness I have found the AntiChrist and thank GOD (lol) that I have found more than one. Hell - I want to become one. That's how free of the fear I have now become. Very liberating, despite the challenge of life itself.

Now time to go play and have some fun!

LOADING .................................................. ....................................

[Ponder]

Reality Check. It's one thing to take in the message and then another to actually clean house. I think this is where the knowing is not always as good as it seems and often falls short if words is all one can do. So it is that I now hold myself accountable as should be the intent of any dairy worth it's weight in text. I took home a little advice after today's therapy session and I will now give it the respect I normally do. I value my sessions so as not everyone is lucky enough to have someone listen and help on such a level.

Recalibrating My Circadian Rhythm:

It's been quite some time now that I have not been up and down like a yo yo as has been the case for many years previous. My routine has come out of sync because I have not adjusted for the seasons. I have never been in a steady state for 12 to 178 months running in my entire life. There is more to it ... however I think that is not enough for now. I'll think to give this aspect a name later on and fine tune the pros and cons of changing seasons for those of us learning how to stay balanced with whatever routine/methods for consecutive seasons. I gained a lot of healing after researching and setting my routine based on the circadian rhythm. Being new to this kind of living - I missed a few beats that slowly went out of sync but did not realise until after a third of the way into the next season. Yadda Yadda ... lesson learned ... time for a recalibration.

Immediate adjustments can include waking up earlier to beat the heat and return to greeting the dawn like a solar panel preparing for the day's events. : ) Yep ... that about sums up the importance of syncing with the seasons and how I have miss more than a few beats. Throw in some meditation time when I get back and then fine tune my activities after that. Simple things like that can make a massive improvement down to the way I retune my digestive system, eliminate useless cravings, increase nutritional utilization and improve automatic healthier responses in all that I do.

Definitely return to walking but watch the timing re the heat - Stop going to the gym - swap it out for some basic stretching and various home routines but way less emphasis on physique but loads more on feelings - both sensory and emotional.

Re-examine the value of insights recently received with all the time thus far spent regarding Alan Watts, these posts and the reading of his books?
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Regarding the latter. Hmmmmmmmmmm Now I have a better concept of the Pantheism view; or at least I think I do? How has this changed my own? - If anything perhaps I have been better placed to create my own acceptable term of what the term GOD should be if I am to allow such a loaded word simply be ... Moreover that I no longer place any weight on such a term and thus let it float on by as I would like to intend for thoughts here on in.

I now consider the benefits of dreaming and back off the intellectual resistance to allow for more feeling. In all that I have opened myself up to thus far - I figure that whilst still living or actually being open - allowing for the process to Watts's concept of renewal (a far cry from a Christian revival) to take effect; [thus this reality check or this reality check in context with such] I should now ponder how to use this new found energy so that the portal remain open as long as need be.

Esoteric considerations - I have no problem with this form of contemplation. It seems very much like some kind of threat or undesirable trait among the more rigid thinkers? Rigid thinkers is as best I can say. I really don't feel threatened by it at all? Perhaps I don't understand the term very well? I think I best describe it more as Esoteric Writing - I've read it's like an art form and a waning one at that. One Google search comes up with Philosophy Between the Lines THE LOST HISTORY OF ESOTERIC WRITING - No doubt more definitions can be extracted the more one reads - but it's in the writing that I now prefer to express where I am at.

Basically I now bring this part of my feelings to light as I embrace that nothingness as recently stated. This is how I conjure up my own connection to whatever form or field I find myself in at whatever experience I am in. Yes - this here comes the mumbo jumbo that requires more intuition than it does reasoning. I'm thinking this is a good space to be in that gives little room for ego. Of course whilst I write this in the open I am very much aware that my ego will have me doubt my every word ... and tell my I must be careful of what others think and so on and on ... thus the return to freestyling and doing my best to be as honest as I believe I can be.

Belief - I have not quite finished speculating on the pros and cons with regard to that term as well ... more so redefining that term like I have now done with that of G-O-D ... I think I swap that one out for that of "knowing" and then calibrate that perception to John Kabat-Zinn's analogy of being OK with the not knowing anything at all ... the no need for striving and or better said "the adoption of a systematic intentional approach that requires next to no effort when done correct" -

So it is that I look forward to shutting down that I may be able to create the space in order to appreciate such existence - during my waking states. Longer, lasting states of clarity and peace of mind. More than just blissful moments.

A bit like continually charging from sleeping, from mediating, from walking, from eating and from breathing; a return to being rather than task orientated living. (No more complacent clinical perspectives.) The complete opposite to consuming as has been most of what I've been doing. More BS and hypocrisy is being weaned with each page of this latest thread. I have been purposely repeating the buying and selling - giving in to the such a compulsive addiction until I have nothing left. Perhaps not nothing ... but the very basics of just having what's really valued and nothing else ... in as much as the beauty of having nothing ... yet retaining something. That being finding the perfect balance.

Yadda Yadda - I now look forward to my slumber ... perhaps an exotreic dream awaits - GOD forbid.

Seriously ... tonights post has brought me much relief. It's why I do what I do. I look forward to that time I can actually move on. I can say that in my book at least, that this space is highly valued and far from wasted.

Adios ... until next post. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzz

[Ponder]

Back on track.

[Ponder]

Have you seen this one Jesse? Do you know anyone else like him that does not present like some kind of religious guru with crowds following them? The world really is in short supply of these kinds of people. Is good that he has left a legacy of teachings though.



Part 2

[Dahila]

well I am lost, completely lost

[jessed03]

Depressing really. That video is almost 50 years old, and since then, things have only gotten worse re humans destroying their environment. Our culture has also gone backwards too, imo. We live in a culture not only where ego is accepted, but actually encouraged. Advertising has it all worked out and people can't even see it. The fight club quote about it having us work jobs we hate to buy shit we don't need comes to mind. We're destroying the earth through over consumption, just to keep the ego illusion alive. As long as people have brand new products every few months, the illusion never has to be broken. But, it's a ponzi scheme, and there will come a time, probably soon, where there's nothing left to borrow from the earth and she starts demanding payment for our actions.

Watts was a rarity, wasn't he. His use of the phrase "waking up" is so much more appropriate than the word "enlightenment". Wake up from your sleep walk, take a good look around, and see what's really going on. That's something everyone can do, compared to this idea of enlightenment you see in Buddhism.

I don't think I've come across anyone like Watts. It's a very, very rare thing to hear somebody lecture on life without preaching. I just go to lots of places and pick what resonates with me. Recently I've checked out Sam Harris, Krishnamurti, Daisetsu Teitaro Suzuki (Alan Watts' mentor), and Thich Nhat Hanh. And I've been reading about transpersonal psychology, which aims to reconcile Western psychology with enlightenment experiences.

But so far I haven't found anybody like Watts who I can listen to for hours.