Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia

[kvnniv]

Three years ago, I was diagnosed with panic disorder with agoraphobia. I was originally prescribed anxiety medication but because of my anxiety I was and still am terrified to take it because of the possible side effects (not feeling good drives my anxiety through the roof). And I know the benefits of medication far outweigh the possible side effects, but I'm just too scared.
Now three years later, I am in the same spot, if not worse. I hardly ever leave my house to go somewhere, in fact its probably been a month since the last time I did. Because of my agoraphobia, I have become very sedentary. I know exercise can be good for anxiety, but its hard to do much exercise when you can't walk down the driveway some days and there's only so much exercises you can do in the house. I recently read a book (Panic Attack Workbook by David Carbonell) which taught me ways of how to overcome my anxiety/agoraphobia on my own and how to make my own exposure program using CBT methods. However, I am finding it hard to motivate myself to face my anxiety and do any exposure. I can go to all the therapy and take all the meds, but it all comes down to me and my determination to face and overcome my agoraphobia/panic. And that's another thing I have trouble with: determination.
I truly have reached rock bottom (again) and want/need to try and overcome this so I can get back to living my life outside my house.
Has anyone else been through and overcome panic disorder/agoraphobia? Do you have any advice on what I can do to get myself motivated and determined? Any advice on what to do?
Thanks

[gypsylee]

Hi and welcome here

My problem would be classed as panic disorder/agoraphobia/social phobia I think. I haven't overcome it but I've survived it for a long time and managed to have some kind of life.. Even improved my situation quite a bit I guess. I still get shocking anxiety though and I know how hard it can be to motivate yourself to face it. I basically get forced to face it because I've got a 15yo daughter and that's not something I can ignore. Right now I'm sitting outside a motel room (with other people milling around) because my daughter lives up here (thanks to my ex who is now overseas). I basically haven't had much privacy at all for ten days.. Which is great when you have social anxiety (not)!

Anyway I think the key is just doing things even when you feel like complete s***. You already started by posting here, so you obviously have some motivation. I have days where just getting out of bed feels like a huge chore (feeling a bit that way today) so I tell myself I'll just have a cup of tea and then I can lie down again. Then I check this forum or my emails and before I know it I feel a bit better and I just keep going. But yeah my life is often real "baby steps". One of my brother's friends once said to him it seems like I just cruise through life and my brother laughed and said "you've got to be joking". So you just never know what other people are going through and feel like you're the most hopeless person in the world, when in fact so many people struggle with this.

If you haven't heard of Claire Weekes, have a read of her stuff or get some audiobooks (I downloaded a couple from iTunes). There's stuff on YouTube and a free link somewhere but she's worth spending a bit of money on. She's fantastic and totally simplifies anxiety to the point where she treats it much like any physical illness (she calls it "nervous illness"). I find that in itself helps because anxiety can easily make you feel like you're going crazy, which is terrifying to anxious types, so if you de-mystify it you feel a lot more in control. So if I find myself having a bad anxiety attack I try and treat it like a migraine or something and just tell people "my anxiety is playing up" and go lie down if I have to. That way you don't add to the "first fear", which Claire Weekes talks about.

I hope that helps a bit.. This forum is really good when you're feeling down and there's always someone around who knows what you're going through.

Cheers,
Gypsy x