Me and Anxiety - what to do next?

[jamai36]

Hello! Looking for some advice as I am in a pretty dire place.

I have had anxiety for most of my life on and off - pain attacks and some extended periods of general anxiety that lasted months as a teenager/young adult. Since then very little.. the odd panic attack but not too much else.

About a year ago I started working out heavily - in July or so I started feeling very lightheaded while working out and began feeling chest pain - and not just my pecs - my chest. My abs and close to where my heart is. It was at this time clearly related to working out, specifically my chest. I didn't want to lose everything so I toned it down and continued going. Then one night while walking home - I started feeling sharp chest pain attached to my breathing as well as tingling/pain in my left arm. It felt like a heart attack. I calmly went home and was driven straight to the hospital. By this point I was also having a severe panic attack and I had lost feeling/control of most of my body. Doctors gave me ativan and I calmed down and all was well. ECG checked out fine.

A one off anxiety attack I thought. I continued as is for a week and then went to a party and uncharacteristically did cocaine. Something I have not done in awhile. I didn't do that much and didn't feel that high. People were upset that it was mostly fake and the night toned down and people went to bed. I felt the same. I was hungry so I decided to get food and upon leaving, BANG! Massive panic attack again.
This time was worse as I had drug fears to feed it (even though looking back they were likely based on nothing) - went to the hospital in an ambulance and even more extensive testing was done - once again conclusion was the same - you are fine. After two GP opinions, they came to:
#1 - Probably anxiety, unsure - unlikely to be heart related - take anti-anxiety meds.
#2 - Probably due to a chest injury/condition that is not heart related but in conjunction with an anxiety disorder results in heart attack-like symptoms on a daily basis - just wait it out.

From this day on nothing was the same again. Every single day without fail, from Aug 8 to today Oct 13 I have had daily anxiety issues. Ranging from mild to severe but never one day without again. I do not live a relaxing life. I am a stay at home dad with three children, all young. My work day starts at 7 and doesn't typically end until 10 with a couple hours of break in between here and there.
My days look like this:
Daytime - a bit of chest/left arm/abdominal pain, typically tied to stress but not always + mini panic bouts here and there
Nighttime - 100% anxiety, every night. It usually creeps up around 6-7 and peaks around midnight. Symptoms include: Chest pain, heart palpitations (skipping/stopping/irregular heartbeat sensation), left arm pain/tingling, headaches, abdominal pain/upset stomach, shaking uncontrollably, difficulty swallowing, inability to deal with stress and everything else that comes with uncontrollable anxiety.

For two+ months now :<
Various strategies:
Quit Smoking - A big one. I have never been a heavy smoker (two packs/week) but early on I was CONVINCED that smoking was causing a lot of the problems. Through various methods I managed to quit for almost two weeks.. to feel worse than ever. I have currently had one every couple of days for a week now after suffering a nervous breakdown. My line of thought is - quit smoking and things will be objectively easier. This is true in a sense but also completely false because quitting is MORE stressful than not quitting - even if you count the day-to-day benefits to the body. I have to quit fully to reap the real benefits, but that's really hard when I am having daily panic attacks.

Go on meds - Originally doctor gave me ativan for the first two months, which obviously worked - but it is ativan. You need an exit strategy. He will not prescribe anymore so I have now been taking gravol to deal with panic attacks if required (not all nights require it) The only medication my doctor could think of to treat anxiety is citalopram. I have been on citalopram and I know that for the first week or two the drug actually CAUSES anxiety. I have the prescription but I am weary to take a 1-2 week plunge with a stimulant making my situation even more difficult. Does anyone know another drug? Maybe not an SSRI?

Breathing/Meditation/Psychiatrist - I do practice breathing and try to practice meditation when possible but it is something I don't do often enough. I have not seen a psychiatrist yet but I have seen one in the past for anxiety and was simply told to practice breathing/meditation or go on medication. I know that.

Stress Reduction - Easy in theory, almost impossible in practice. This is one I try really hard to work on. Day-to-day, moment-to-moment it is really hard. A house to upkeep, three children to manage - even though this is clearly the biggest cause it is also the one I feel I have the least control over. Take deep breaths, try not to get too upset over things while still engaging them - don't hold in stress/anger too long but don't let it out too quickly or you are always negative. It's tough :<

Sorry my essay has been long. If anyone bothered to read it all thank you so much Really I want to know what anyone thinks I should do next as things seem to be getting only worse over time and I feel like I am drowning in anxiety. See another doctor? Demand a different drug? Make a large change in my daily life (if possible)? I just don't know but I do know that tomorrow will bring another nightmare. Thanks to all who read!

[gypsylee]

Hey and welcome here

Three young children will do it! I only ever had one and used to wonder how on earth people cope with more. Interestingly, my sister-in-law is about to have her third, which will mean having a 5yo, 2yo and newborn. I would die of stress. Do you have any family/friends to help you out and give you a break? It sounds like your nervous system is just way out of whack which causes the constant anxiety. So of the things you suggest I would try and make a change to your daily life which gives you more time out.

I hope you find some support here..

Gypsy x

[J. Ans]

It sound like maybe what you took at that party might have changed your neurons and added to already present anxiety. But I've heard that the brain can repair itself, it just might take time. Maybe find a second opinion from a second doctor (psychiatrist or whomever, general family doctor could refer you to a naturopathic/holistic doctor). Maybe you could try community acupuncture, which is less expensive than private acupuncture? I always recommend community acupuncture. You might have to go once a week or even twice a week but you can get a session for as low as $15 to $20 per session which I know is not that inexpensive but it's better than $60-70 private sessions. Also yes getting some help with taking care of your kids from family or friends would be great. My anxiety would be greatly increased if I had kids to take care of especially if I were a full time stay at home parent.
P.S. I recently had the arm tinglies (I feel them a little bit right now, as a matter of fact). That symptom sounded similar to some of your symptoms. My arms feeling cold and tingling is always a sign that I'm feeling anxious/slight panic and that I have to do some coping methods like the breathing, etc. P.S. congratulations on cutting down the smoking. I no longer smoke or drink (I know, I'm no fun ) so sometimes I feel like I don't have a coping method (other than medications). But I know how hard it is to quit smoking or any vice. I don't think there are moderators on this board, but.....I hope you get lots of helpful advice from people on here. You are not alone.