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  1. #1
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    Unhappy I'm so sick of people today!

    This generation is full of nasty, selfish, and downright obnoxious people. Especially online. It's amazing just how many jerks out there try to spoil your mood on the Internet.

    I've got some type of a mild autism like condition, but that doesn't make me stupid. I'm a knowledge filled guy, but nobody really cares what I have to say, so I go through life feeling alone, because I've got chronic anxiety which puts me off of being in an ordinary social setting. Like I'm very fond of retro music, but nobody has heard of the bands I'm interested in, so it's pointless to cast them up. That's unfortunately a very common "issue" when it comes to dealing with people with mental health problems. They ramble on about things too much, feeling proud of what they have learned, but many neurotypical people just don't understand autism at all.

    Anyway, I ended up spending close to 7 years looking for an ex-girlfriend I knew from the summer of 2005, and I did not find her again until March of 2012. You may be thinking why I did that. Well, she was the only woman I ever felt I "loved" mentally. In that time, I even had an old support worker who was supposed to 'help me' take the biscuit and send me emails about her, using a made up nickname, pretending he knew her personally. That's a sack worthy offense, but he left before anything became of it. So you may as well say that's near enough a 7 year gap that in my view, was filled with complete heartache and nonsense. After all that moping and searching I did, it amounted to nothing but hassle. There is no Cinderella story to tell. She came back into my life, constantly lied, used me, and was not interested in me for a relationship. Since then, people online have did a smear campaign so that film directors omit me from their Twitter feed.

    Earlier this year, I was acting in a zombie film. Google Redcon-1 (2017) and you'll see it stars a guy called Carlos Gallardo. And I played one of the zombies with other extras. Now, I thought being an extra would be a cool thing to spend my time doing, since getting major roles in films is harder than it sounds. Without a CV and a lot of representation, it's a waste of your time. I've actually missed a lot of opportunities this year to be in short films and a few feature length indie movies that were shot locally as well. I'm highly socially anxious, and I no longer get support shifts at all, nor do I use medication to treat my nervousness. So you can probably hazard a guess that I don't like going to places by myself that involves talking to strangers. It's highly frustrating, being honest. These people involved with the film eventually abused me on a secret Facebook group because I just asked if a female (online only) friend be reinstated. Then I found out it was this big clique of unprofessional idiots. Then the so-called friend did a dirty on me too. Talk about backbiting and betrayal. These people who disagreed with this sent me quotes from posts that sounded abusive.

    I've had so much grief because of social services, but support workers are not trustworthy people. Social services found me these guys who were inflexible and probably just acting as stool pigeons, due to me being under court ordered supervision. There was a time this guy monitoring me would not let me go online unless one of the support workers was there to see what my habits are. Basically, any social services parties are known privacy invaders. Never use them if you can manage without them. They kid on they're nice and helpful, but they have to log reports about their clients. If anything went 'tits up' as the saying goes, your so-called helpers will leave you high and dry in a flash. It did happen to me before. Plus, they all move on, so getting attached to them is a bad idea.

    The old support workers I had turned my world upside down. All I did was get infatuated with two women, that I never formally abused at first. They freaked out and decided not to work with me again. It made me so agitated. Then their bosses kept lying to stall telling me the actual truth, yet in-between if I blew up so to speak, due to these lies, they used that as leverage to say I did this, that, and the next thing. They even called the cops to get me arrested, then made out the next day or whatever that they didn't know about it. Can you believe that? Then other times this guy who was a senior staff member had a stupid smile on his face and offered to be my 'source of information' because he knew I hated his guts. So I'd get onto the phone to tell my mother he was taken the P-I-S-S.

    Finally, I lost my (supported) flat after they lied about rent arrears to have me sign the tenancy away 'willingly' as they'd put it, and I was remanded in jail a lot, because whenever I tried to be noble and say sorry in emails or letters, it breached a no contact order. The pigs put me in jail with these sex offenders. This is why they belatedly slapped me with a Community Payback Order after months of deferring the outcome between many hearings, but several breaches meant they added on every months. So instead of one order - I ended up with three. One of them just ended today.

    I've also been majorly bullied online for well over 16 years. At one point, someone made an article about me on Encyclopedia Dramatica with fabricated stuff about me being what they classed as a mentally ill man who is gay and anally loves the man-pole, blah, blah, blah. It took me 2 years to get it removed, because I didn't know how to go about doing that, so it ended up archived anyway. Eventually, they relocated to a new host years ago. These people are notorious for harassing people and committing fraud. The article soon returned though, and it's been up ever since.

    I'm very disappointed that things like forums and Facebook are populated by arrogant trolls when they could be put to better use. Now and again I like to edit pages on Wikipedia too, but the mods who think they own the articles revert the edits they just don't agree with, even if you cite the new addition. It's just pointless now.

    So, what do you think?

  2. #2
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    Hey there

    I dislike most "normal" people as well. As we speak I'm stuck in a motel room which means I have to go outside to smoke and there's always people out there. I get bad anxiety in the mornings (and my anxiety would be classed as social) so it's like torture having no privacy. Yes I know smoking is bad and most people hate it but one of the great joys of my own house is being able to have a damn cigarette inside! Right now there's about six people having a barbecue a few metres from me at 11am ugh.

    Anyway, sorry to use your post to whinge and thanks for sharing your story. You write well, which is rare in itself. I hope you don't get any grief from people here. This forum is unmoderated so it's like the Wild West of Anxiety LOL but I've found it works really well and people are generally respectful of each other. We have the occasional drama but that's life and people will always have different viewpoints to our own.

    As for sites like Facebook, I rarely comment on any public pages because you inevitably get into arguments and it's a complete waste of time and energy. Sometimes I leave a controversial comment and I always end up regretting it because I get all these notifications of angry responses. I think people pick fights online because they have all this pent-up anger which they can't express in their real lives. I've been using the internet since 1997 and I learned pretty quickly that arguing online was absolutely pointless.

    All the best,
    Gypsy x

  3. #3
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    Red face

    Thanks.

    Yes, I agree that I do write awfully well. I've had people saying to me that I should write a book, and have it published. I'm a formidable record keeper indeed. And quite frankly, I'm not really bothered if trolls on forums mock my taste in music anymore. It's them that are the pathetic losers. There was a time where I had this moron on a Resident Evil message board say to me that I had nothing better to do than play shitty 80's new wave music, and he slagged me off for liking Tears for Fears, who by the way, are a brilliant band. But I soon put him in his place.

    I see you live in Melbourne, which is a popular city in Australia. I'm fond of a lot of older Australian rock groups, like Cold Chisel, Models, Men At Work, Little River Band, Skyhooks, and 1927. Dragon are kind of Aussie as well, although they actually originated in New Zealand. That music is way better than most of the stuff put out today, which generally sucks. The kids these days just don't seem to know about, nor appreciate how much better the music was all those years ago. Although I do like the song 'In My Blood' by The Veronicas. They're not exactly new as I know they've been releasing albums for a long time, but I suppose they are modern day.

    Yeah - I've certainly been through the wars with a-holes on the Internet, and often offline too. It just doesn't seem fair, but I think a lot of the problem is to do with how people diagnosed with autism are prey to neurotypical people. They're often being nefarious, by taken advantage of the fact people with social impairment or mental health problems can be naive, uncertain and lonely. The ignorant world refers to autism as a disorder, when it's really just an indifference. I'm also a very open person, which means when I admit things to people, sometimes they fear the worst and try to get me outed from everything. It would not be very nice if that happened to them, but it's sadly how society is now. It can be hard to find a really understanding person who isn't going to later misplace the trust I've put in them.

    Unfortunately, I'm staying with my family in a rather cluttered house. It's very stressful, actually. My sister lost her kids because of a major court battle. She may have to give up her flat as well. I've no chance of getting a council property for at least another year, and that's with homeless priority. Going private is another option, but it's not exactly wise. Without that homeless priority in place, it's pretty much impossible to get housed through the city council in this day and age. It's just how it is.

    I'm very angry that these heartless film makers are treating me like this. I'm just a nobody trying to be a somebody. But that attitude of theirs flat out sucks. It kind of keeps on reminding me as to why I never bother interacting with a lot of sad people these days. Many of the folk today are just fickle and up their own butt chutes. Also, if you said you had a pacemaker, they'd probably punch you in the chest for fun.

  4. #4
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    Yeah Melbourne is apparently going to be bigger than Sydney in about ten years. My favourite Australian musician is definitely Nick Cave.. I'm sure you would have heard of him? He's lived in England for quite a while now but he's originally from here.

    I don't have autism but I'm very empathic and sensitive. I find most people either "apathic" (just don't care) or sociopathic/psychopathic. The latter would definitely punch you in the chest for fun if you said you had a pacemaker haha.

  5. #5
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    Cool

    I've heard of him, but I don't know much about him; I know he was in a film with Dave Mason, the singer from The Reels. They did a cover of 'Bad Moon Rising' and some other quirky versions of famous songs by Herb Alpert and Jim Reeves.

    There is a channel on YouTube. It's called nzoz1982 and the owner had to remove a lot of his videos from that channel and his many other channels, for risk of Google shutting them down. But around 2010, he had all these mega rare clips that I came across, that would probably never be aired on TV in the UK. Before YouTube, I used to get my music fix via cable channels such as VH1 Classic, but it was usually just bland or cheesy stuff they played most of the time. Over time, I had gotten to be more fond of the alternative stuff like The Cure and OMD, and all that. But these channels were great once.

    Billy Field. Australian Crawl. Divinyls. Sherbet. The Triffids. You name it. He had it. It's how I got to know all these overseas artists. I've always wondered why certain bands are massive in their own countries where they originated, but elsewhere, they're just a cult thing, that few people know of. Or they are often slapped with the dreaded one-hit wonder label.

    In Britain, we only really identify Australian music with the likes of INXS, Kylie Minogue, her sister, Dannii, Savage Garden, and also that TV presenter turned established pervert, Rolf Harris. Australia has much more than that though, and this guy on YouTube proved it. His channels had pretty much it all. Now there's just channel austv2.

    Music has always been there for me, in a life of revolving doors. Honestly, it's one of the few reasons I've not gone crazy just yet, although it's hard to manage feeling depressed. There are times I wish people had stayed around in my life for longer, but professional caregivers for example have to obey the strict rules, hence you end up with all this hassle I'm having to suffer. Like they're not allowed to be friends with former clients even after they leave their post, because that might be seen as them taken advantage, or something. There are nice people working as support staff. Well, some of them are okay. Others shouldn't be in that profession. But it's a shame that there's so many boundaries in place.

    I've recently gotten interested in English-speaking Dutch bands as well. You may have heard of a song called 'Venus' by Shocking Blue. It was covered in the 80's by Bananarama. There's also George Baker Selection, Focus, Golden Earring, and a few others like Herman Brood that are well known internationally. I'm also a fan of music from Canada and the United States. Much of today's plastic pop music is just trash, being honest.

  6. #6
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    Hey again..

    Sorry I'm going to use your post to vent again. I'm still at this damn motel and I am utterly sick of people! I mean the kind of "normal" people who make a lot of noise and get together in large groups. I'm about to get in my car and go for a long drive just to get some peace.

    This planet has too many humans on it!!

  7. #7
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    It sounds to me as if you have a phobia of meeting people, just like I do. Yes, that's probably classed as social anxiety which is why you may prefer to smoke and drive by yourself, but I do kind of like being social when the right opportunities come along. And believe me, that in itself is very, very rare. I'm more of a one to one kind of guy socially. This is why I like dating, because you can hang out with just one person of the opposite sex, and not have to worry whether you will be approved by bunches of random people at once. But lately, I just feel like I don't want to have to wrack my brain when it comes to other people's crap. If I receive no appreciation, affection, praise or a general thanks from anybody, I just think I should not bother wasting my time. Although I sometimes am just too nice to refuse people, or it's going to be this way just because I don't want to hurt their feelings. But I feel a bit insecure if during the first signs of people not being what I want them to be, it's looking like it's not going to last or something. That is not to say I am a clingy person, but I've grown a bit skeptical of other people being not quite what I envisioned them to be early on when I get to know a little about them. Like the ex I had, those lousy support workers, and people online I've never even met, and most likely never will. When I first met them, I didn't know upfront that they would eventually ruin my life.

    To be honest, I gel better with people with mental disabilities, but sometimes they can be a huge chore, and that's not their fault. They just don't see the world the same way as others, but that doesn't make them unworthy of being loved. When they are not being nice though, I've observed that perhaps without meaning to, it's next to impossible to get them to understand when they are being out of line. Since I also have something like autism, I am inclined to miss social cues, which in itself can be annoying both to myself and to the others. My voice is also loud so I am inclined to shout, but I don't recognize that others find me loud. They have to say it, so I feel a bit offended, like I'm getting a telling off.

    I've pretty much had to forcefully accept that the normal or the so-called neurotypical jackasses today shun disabled people, and would not want to date me even if I was the last man on Earth. You have to be with your own kind all the time, but please define my own kind for me.

    I'm allergic to cats, it seems. I'll get puffy eyes, sneeze repeatedly and feel congested. I'm a fan of cats, so I don't dislike them. Well, this girl I am friendly with now thinks I'm allergic to her because I cannot stop sneezing. It got old fast when she kept saying it, too. Maybe that's slight paranoia on her part, but she has like half a dozen cats kept in one room because she has two big dogs as well. They're adults and kittens.

    This girl I am seeing (just as a friend, it seems) has an abusive ex who is obsessed with her. She blocked his mobile number, but he rings her from a private number to circumvent the block, and leaves tons of nasty voicemail. He showed up at the door yesterday at 12:30 PM and my friend wouldn't let him in. He left soon thereafter, but he's threatened her before, and also landed her in hospital. The police came and weren't very supportive to her, perhaps, but they don't take sides. It's a job to them. She was kind of obstructing their duty too. She's had to tell the police about him before, so it's not like this is new.

    At one point, he had emailed her a photo of tablets, implying to people not aware of his manipulative ways that he was going to overdose on purpose. The police have to take that seriously, even in the event he's just attention seeking. She had a photo of this creep on her phone, and the police required it. She was being quite rude to the police. Since I was beside her, I advised her to co-operate because of course, they could have ceased her phone. It probably has important numbers which I don't think she can afford to lose. She was not happy about being abused, then she spent ages looking for her medication because she misplaced it, and made me leave her room saying she was claustrophobic. But I was just trying to help her. What the hell? We slept in the same bed, for crying out loud.

    We were meant to take her dogs out, and head down to my parents' house, but she was so upset, she sobbed in her room after the police came back. The excited dogs ended up crapping on her floor. We did eventually go to my parents' house. Since I got to meet her through my sister, she spent all night talking to her mostly, and I felt a bit like piggy in the middle. When it was time for bed, I was by that point so tired, but she never even came beside me. My bed ain't big anyway. She slept in another room. But honestly, I kind of feel rejected and cried a little. This morning, I masturbated too. The prostitute I see a lot text me to say she's back from Poland, so I'll probably just go and see her. I'm tired of not getting intimacy from anybody. All us guys have needs, and I'm 30 now. But me and this girl: I probably think it's not going to last, to be honest. I'm not saying she's a bad person, because she's not. But I wonder if this is going anywhere.

    P.S. I'm really not sure if I'll be taken part in the Custodian short film any more, because this Nicolette person did a smear campaign to get me blocked. People that do that are highly unprofessional. I'm entitled to my own beliefs and views on things, just like this fancy pants is as well. It's all one big clique, if you ask me.
    Last edited by The Scottish Pedro; 10-18-2016 at 09:45 AM.

  8. #8
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    I don't really have a phobia of meeting people (unless my anxiety is bad). I just need a lot of personal space and for the last ten days or so I haven't had much at all. I got home this afternoon though and I don't think I've ever appreciated this place as much since I first moved in! (after living in share accommodation). This is bliss having my own space again and it's a nice little house.

  9. #9
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    Well, at least you can drive around until it's time to leave that motel. I'd imagine Australia has a lot of nice nature resorts. It's good to get away from the city life for a while. Too many toxic fumes, and yes, too many people. Horrible creatures.

    I miss my grandmother, who was a way better human being than any of the zealots I've described. She always used to say she was a people person, but she found it hard to get out to see people because of her mobility. My gran lived across the street, and I used to visit her after I finished work at Comet on Friday nights, but failing health forced her to go into care in 2003. Her arteries were blocked from smoking, and she had dementia. Once she was in the care home, it wasn't as nice seeing her, because she didn't talk to my sister or I much. Just our mother. Plus, there was not really much privacy either. Well, my gran died in 2004. Pretty much everything since 2002 has sucked donkey balls for me. It's not going to get any better. I've realized now that humans are a fickle species, and everyone just has too much drama, issues and ego inflation, that I cannot and won't want to engage with that lot anymore. When I try to help others, they end up going 180 degrees on me, so I'm just like nah, I am not going to bother now.

    I'm guessing once you've lived somewhere too long, you kind of stop thinking about the place you live. I'm from Edinburgh, but I find all these little beautiful parks tucked away in the concrete jungle. Honestly, I've lost count of how many times I've went along streets thinking it's a shortcut to where I'm heading, then I have to double back all the way to a busy street because it's a wall, a railway line, a fence, or just something that indicates this probably isn't where I'm going. It's like my town is full of main roads, and the rest of it is just housing schemes, bars, and back alleys. Muggers would never be caught. Uh!

    It looks like I'll be stuck at my parents' house. I had a stressful night, shouting at this girl who knows my sister. I guess it was tiredness or insecurity. I don't know. I'm just kind of desperate now. I'm kind of in a rut, because social services aren't helping me. Yet they cannot really be trusted, but then if I never tried to, they'd never help me. But then they might land me in hot water again. Uh!

    And going private means it could be risky, because they'd remove all the homeless priority points, so if something happened and I had to leave, I'd be back at square one again. And I'm 100% certain that once I'm gone, my family will use my empty room to dump all this junk in, which is precisely how it was left when my things were brought back from the supported accommodation. But they told me I'd be waiting another year for to be housed through the council. My sister has been bidding for way longer than me, and she's not gotten any offers. So they're probably lying, to be honest. It's probably easier to get a house in one of these desolate towns far out.

    I just don't know. My chips are down, and I can see the other person threw a dice and it's rolling. The humans have made the dice look small so my myopic eyes cannot see it, but something tells me they have the winning combination. Again, horrible creatures, that like to be spiteful. Ha-ha.

    The only good music these days is probably served to keen listeners via live acts, or the stuff you hear on film soundtracks made by real composers is always great. Pretty much anything popular or mainstream is just Auto-Tune saccharine. Even a lot of the rock music is just bland or crappy nowadays. The singers and their backing bands just crank up the volume on their amps, and yell obscenities. There is absolutely nothing creative about it.
    Last edited by The Scottish Pedro; 10-18-2016 at 04:40 PM. Reason: I'm just updating some stuff!

  10. #10
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    I'm lucky in that I have my own place (my dad owns it and I'm paying him off). It's right near the freeway, which I absolutely hate (the traffic actually woke me up this morning) but when I look at the price of rentals I count my blessings. I think the whole species is in a rut LOL and human beings aren't meant to spend their lives working so they can buy useless crap and then die in a nursing home. The opening scene of Trainspotting says it all pretty much.


 

 

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