I just stumbled across this site and I'm not really sure how to do anything so I'll just rant. I Started living in group homes and foster homes slash open custody when I was 13 started smoking cigs and marijuana at about 14-15 then started drinking heavily from about 18-25. started slowing down but still every other day at this point. got my first panic attack at about 20 maybe 21. for 2 hours felt like I was going to have a heart attack and die if I stopped moving so went into panic mode I guess and kept with it. It was from the weed I guess. when I was about 21 my friend who has since passed RIP gave me a clonazepam which I was reluctant to take at first. My mental history is astounding talking bout seeing a psychiatrist at the age of 5 and being medicated for all sorts of things. Anyways the Clonazepam did what it was supposed to and I started getting them off her as she barely took them. only when she needed to. 2 years later I got a perscription saving me having to get them off her or buying them on the street. Im 29 now and I am a completely different person. I panic every single day all day it seems and it's not getting better. I take 1.5 mg of clonazepam 3 times daily now because my tolerance just kept building up but I can easily take 6 and be content. I also abuse lorazepam as they will not prescribe me both. I know I need to make a change but I dunno how or where to begin. any help would be greatly appreciated. I don't even know if this is grammatically correct or if I even typed in all the information I needed. I cannot even sit still anymore. being still or moving around or doing anything really makes me severley uncomfortable like I'm not in my own skin and that if I don't pace I will die. I am overwhelmed by everything as well as constantly feel a tightness in my chest. I am 9 days sober from alcohol today and it's a real bitch after using it as an escape for so many years. I just thought I'd reach out to get some help. having panic attacks that make me feel like I'm going to die every second of the day is unmanageable. I need serious help as I've tried to come off the benzos unsuccessfully everytime. any input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for your time.
Kyle