Feeling hopeless, dread everything. Don't know what to do?

[gypsylee]

I think I was misunderstood.

I was just trying to play the old kid's game of "would you rather?"

Would you rather be 21 and have anxiety related mental illness or be 43 and have a clear mind?

I thought about this myself and despite the hell that is mental illness, I still think I'd prefer to be 21 as long as my anxiety and depression did not get worse.

Just trying to provide small comfort. She still has the blessing of being young. She doesn't need to worry much about real physical problems at her age.

Oh I get you

[J. Ans]

I would search for sliding scale therapy and hopefully a sliding scale psychiatrist. I know that therapy (talk counseling) can be sliding scale, found more inexpensively, than psychiatrist. I think there are community mental health centers in many cities of every state, where they can help you out. I would try one of those. It doesn't have to be some fancy private practice psychiatrist, just a community mental health clinic, where you can be treated with medication and talk therapy. I would especially look for a therapist who can help someone with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I can't remember if you said that you had stopped drinking or not. Maybe going to AA (alcoholic anonymous) would help for that, if you are ready to stop drinking or have already stopped? Or some other type of anonymous group, al anon, if you grew up with alcoholics, or any type of 12 step program........or any type of support group would help. DBSA (Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance) has good meetings, you don't have to have their exact types of mental illness to attend. Just to be around others so that you realize that you are not alone.