Water Fasting to Alleviate my Social Phobia

[Ponder]

Yes - I am back! ... and in a new phase. More to follow soon enough.




In fine tradition, I'll just say for now:

Time for my hour long walk & of course -

Adios ... until next post.

[MiST]

There's a huge spider behind you..

[Ponder]

...and that's only just the beginning MiST.

Coming to sit with our condition - Social Phobia or Finding Peace?



I took the below pic at a social meet - I decided not to join the photography club:

I've come a long way and still challenging myself, but still find people untrustworthy and cruel. More so defensive and in saying that I have no malice (or aim to think like so) towards others like so, but know I am too reactive around likewise people due to my own levels of intolerance. Competing within a club mentality fosters more a sense of selfishness and buffed ego rather than cultivates the experience of giving freely. My instability often leads me to question myself on such a counts ... alas here I am ... and now the show continues.

[Dahila]

Welcome back man)

[Ponder]

TY, Good to see you again Dahila.

[salvator here]

Welcome back ponder, I've been away myself for a little while, back now as things aren't going to well and I need to at least be around others here. I agree with you though, I have little trust and faith in people anymore, and I question if I even want real people in my life at this point. I don't know if you are like me, but when I'm not doing well mentally is precisely when I tend to study/notice people traits more and I don't like what I see. Its not that I am without faults, and I know I have some messed up habits, but I always have to be the one to overlook others traits when "so called" friends took every chance to remind me when I did something that annoyed them. I too feel I've come a long way, but I've also become less social, and maybe (for me) its for the best. I guess I just never allow people to get close to me and I stay guarded now. I don't think its bad actually to be guarded these days. Besides, I can be a pushover and allow people to walk all over me especially when I'm fragile.

Sorry to rant on your thread here, hope you don't mind.

Take care.

[Ponder]

I don't mind at all salvator & TY for the welcome. It's healthy to be honest with ourselves. In fact - TY for sharing like so. Everything you said resonates with me and I'm probably sure it is similar with many others that struggle socializing. What you said at the end re being a push over and allowing others to walk all over you when fragile; I know that well. It sure can be frustrating after the fact.

For ... the offense at which it seems to be can be rather consuming. Nothing wrong with seeking to be by ourselves during such times. I struggle with people who are quick to tell others whom likewise are sitting in peace, that they should be up and about, mingling with others in order to be classified as acceptable and social beings. Thankfully not all professional recovery based programs endorse socialization as a gauge to someones state of well being. I now consider it a grey area as some social interaction to some degree is very much a beneficial thing. Like right now ... here with yourself, MiST, Dahila & myself. That's real enough for me.

Not all of us can fit on the same level of others, and that's OK - or at least for many of us in here ... we understand that well enough. Even those of us that have stepped on each others toes, yet have remorse enough to stick it out ... because whilst many of us can find peace on our own, I don't think any of us wants to be lonely. Hence the difference between being alone, to that of feeling lonely.

So thanks for your insight & reply - it's gone a long way to keeping the lonely scale at bay for me. I feel no need to go clubbing ... not just yet.

[JohnC]

Howdy P. Just wanted to let you know that i am still about but i just do not post much. You seem to be doing great and i am happy for you. I sure wish i had the motivation to loose some weight that i have put on since quitting the cigs. but i just feel mentally fatigued i guess at the end of the day. Any way keep it up P and i'll be around. Hi Dahlia always good to see you to Peace all

[Ponder]

John It's really great to see again! That's awesome about the smokes!!! It took me a few years when giving up the Cigs, before I attempted to do anything about my weight.

TY for singing out and letting me know your watching. You really ... and I mean REALLY gave me hope with your reply. I like how we sync with nature and all those things.

Whilst I appear to be on track ... today I am feeling very down. I just typed it all out ... BUT - you know how it goes ... I just lost the post with due to some keyboard setting re my browser.

I go for a walk and see if I can iron out my next move.

I have surgery tomorrow and detest being in hospitals. I really need to get well. I don't think I can stand any more operations.

I try and cheer up soon enough ... fact is, I have more purging to do. Hopefully this will be one of my last cycles ... or more so one of the intense ones.

[Dahila]

John my dear, keep fighting with it, it is so worth it. Weight; as soon as I had seen my results of fasting about 6.5 glucose; which is diabetes Mellitus, I quit on bread, and pasta, I had never eat junk food or drink soda so it is not difficult. I eat a lot of veggies like always but now twice more ) Of course my results after two months of it, are eye opening. I took Ponder advice at getting up from the table when 80% full. I also (I go to sleep around midnight) try not to eat after 7, or 8. I had lost glorious 25 pounds so I am feeling like new me. I quit the meds too, I take only 0.5 mg of Klonopin a day, I am planning on getting off it , too. I will keep you D. In my thoughts and focus on your health. I do not know if universe will cooperate.........I wish you luck
Let us know how it went please.