A little story (warning it´s very boring^^)

[Danijel]

First of all i want to say hi to everyone. It´s actually my first time ever posting something in a forum (btw. Sorry if I´m posting this to the wrong topic). So I am a 16 years old guy (Yeah another one of those teenagers with their hard fucking lifes xD). I live in Vienna and I actually never had really serious problems with social anxiety till now, but i wasn´t very confident either.

A year ago I would probably consider myself just as a shy person, but I always had somehow friends around me. I can´t really remember that I ever went to someone who looks like a interesting person and just saying "Hi, whats up". They somehow came always to me (No I am not that interesting actually), I guess I just had luck. So anyway 3 years ago when I was like 13 I saw a parkour video on youtube and I thought to myself that I have to learn this. So I started with it and became better and better. I also met very interesting people through parkour and freerunning in that time. As I said I was very shy back then but in that time it somehow all was gone when I met new friends. However one of those friends who was at that time a really really good friend of mine became very addicted to drugs. We lost contact after a while because he kinda thought that I am a loser after he met his new drug friends. I actaully didn´t saw him again. He said that i was a loser and he was totally right at that time, I was very scared of new things at that time (btw. I was like 15 at that time). So I decided to flip over my whole life and just to imagine that every day is my last one. And I really did, I did things i never would have done because i was too shy or too scared. I became more confident and really enjoyed the summer last year. I did all kinds of crazy stuff, had fun and eventually the summer was over and I started my first year in High School. In that time I somehow really became depressed. It was really the first time that I ever had social anxiety this way. It just happened for no particular reason. I wouldn´t call myself stupid but i really screwed up alot of tests because I just couldn´t concentrate in class and I also had really trouble speaking in front of people. So a couple months passed that way. I eventually screwed it up and made it even worser. I thought that maybe a other school would be better for me, so I broke up that school and found another one. Eventually the director of that other school changed his mind about accepting me after months and so there I was sitting at home for a couple months and searching for another school that has a free place. I probably called over 30 schools, they all had no place left for the coming year. So I actually decided to search for a job since I have no chances anymore finding another school and also because my parents were really pissed. Guess what finding a job isn´t that easy too lol. Well as you can probably imagine I was really depressed at that time because I only heard "No" everywhere I go from everyone i see all the time. I also didn´t had contact with friends at all, I was literally doing shit for months. But there was actually one good thing. I started playing piano again after i stopped some years ago. I became really good at it actually. It was probably the only thing at that time that I really enjoyed doing. My parents never actually wanted that I go to highschool because they weren´t. So they made the situation just harder for me because they always were saying what i was doing wrong instead of helping me getting up again. I didn´t talked much at that time, the only thing that i was doing was searching for a school or a job. I went to schools talked to them but they all were full at that time, I also got denied from every job offer. I really didn´t knew what to do I turned 16 and I was doing nothing for months. I didn´t talked to people at all for weeks and just didn´t knew what to do anymore. Well eventually i got through that time and finally found a place in a school. I´ll start there in like a month and try now to talk to friends again since I was away without saying anything to anyone for like 5 months or so. I got very antisocial and have to fix this now, I started a month ago again with sports and doing fun things again. I really was scared to leave my flat for months ( crazy huh...) but now it´s getting better. I think the best thing you can do against social anxiety is to actually to do something at all. I read and watched many things to fix this problem but none of this helped me till I started to challenge myself again like I did in the past. So you just have to start doing something, it helped me getting up again. I feel great again now. It´s actaully really that simple. Wow I really sound like a little crying bitch after this story xD Sorry for wasting your time, i just felt like writting it down.

Have a nice day!