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  1. #1

    Confused: Girlfriend with anxiety

    Default Don't know where to turn
    To make a short story long, I have been dating a wonderful woman for 8 months, everything I could dream of, smart, kind, beautiful, family-centric, basically everything I have been looking for.

    She told me early on she suffered from anxiety and depression, but throughout the time we've been together I thought she managed it very well. A few times she would tell me she felt overwhelmed but not often and never seemed like she couldn't handle it.

    When we started dating she was just finalizing a divorce, but had been separated for a year and other than just knowing he moved out, I don't know specifics.

    The relationship has been going splendidly on all accounts, we never fought, never argued and spent as much time together as possible. She works a ton and has a lot of outside interests, friends which keep her busy but we made time to see each other when we could. We spent many weekday/weekend nights together and she was even talking about the future and seemed scared that she would scare me off (I am also divorced).

    About 4 months in she needed some time, about a week and when we got back together she told me she just had a bit of a freakout but realized how much she missed me.

    Now on the the latest, we went away for independence day and had a nice relaxing trip and the next week we didn't get to spend much time together due to her crazy work schedule lately. We did spend the thursday after together, then on saturday she breaks up with me, says she is uncertain and just not sure she is ready.

    I went back through some old messages to see if maybe I missed something and not three weeks earlier she said that she was afraid she would scare me off before work slowed down. I told her I loved her and was not going to scare off. She said that made her so happy, hence my confusion, could things change that quickly?

    She also found out the week we broke up that she had to go to the Far East for 2 weeks for work which really stressed her out. I'm just trying to figure out what I am supposed to do, I don't want to lose her but I also don't want to make her feel like I am abandoning her.

    She says she is unsure if she is just afraid to be hurt again or if there is just something missing even though the relationship is perfect (her words).

    She says she thinks it will take a long time and doesn't want me to wait for her, and that I deserve to be happy. I was floored, I told her I loved her and she was everything I wanted but she had to do what was best for her.

    We've haven't talked in a week, and only then was for me to drop something off at her house.

    I guess what I am asking, does this sound like something fueled by anxiety (I know I'm asking a lot) and I just need to give her time or am I just fooling myself in hopes that it is? I guess I am just at a loss to explain it, maybe I never will be able to but I just needed to ask for help.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Atlanta, Georgia US
    Just my honest opinion...I am a very, very anxious person. But if I truly loved someone and really, really wanted to be with them, my anxiety would not stop me.



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