Welcome to the Anxiety Forum - A Home for Those with Anxiety, Fear, or Panic Attacks.
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  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    Auckland, New Zealand
    Posts
    1

    The lies social anxiety tells me.

    My anxiety takes over and feeds me lies - I'm not good enough, I'm going to make a fool of myself, I'm going to humiliate myself, everyone is looking at me, people will laugh.
    Even sitting here writing this is hard. It's telling me all of those things and more - nobody is interested in what you have to say.
    I know deep down that they are lies but they are just so strong and take over!
    Then there is that small part of my brain that tries so hard to take control and say "lies all lies, don't listen".
    I wish I could figure out a way to make that part bigger and stronger.
    My 14 year old daughter has not been able to attend school because of social phobia/anxiety and I don't know how to help her when I can't seem to even help myself.
    How do you fight those lies?

  2. #2
    Lately I am trying to fight them by forcing myself to write about my thoughts in this forum. Believe me, every time I write, I ask myself, why would anyone be interested in what I just wrote, but someone always is, and I am interested in what they have to say, because it's like they are talking about me when they write about their anxiety issues. And I get lots of ideas on how to fix myself from what I read. I like this, even if there are times I hate myself for writing about what I never speak of, since I am not really a talkative person. When I am not writing or reading here, I try things, learn things, try to have fun and figure out who I really am. And when I can't run from people, I try to act like I am fine around them, sometimes it works. Sometimes I really try to be brutally honest, at least that's what it feels like when I am talking like a normal person. This helps a lot. This is all about understanding who you are and accepting everything as it is, but moving forward no matter what, how painful it gets, you keep going... Tried to keep it brief, hope it helps...
    "Space and time and thought are not the separate things they appear to be." -- Wesley Crusher
    The world is not ready for such dangerous nonsense, when do you think it is ever going to be???

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    My Own Little World
    Posts
    181
    This is difficult for me, too. Talking to other people who understand/deal with social anxiety has been helpful, though. At least I don't feel completely alone in my struggle. The decision I made to seek professional help is one I do not regret. I know there are at least a few people who believe in me and that helps to neutralize the negative messages my anxiety tries to convince me to believe are true.
    Last edited by Zena; 07-24-2016 at 03:14 PM.

  4. #4
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    4

    You Are Not Alone!!!

    I find that I write posts or replies only to edit, delete, rewrite, delete and start all over again for the same reasons which you mentioned. Who cares about me when everyone has his or her own issues to face? Well, I know that the reality is that we really do care about each other because we're all in this battle together and in a support group for support. I once read a profound statement, "Pretending to be OK is easier than having to explain why we're not." I can't think of too many statements truer than that. One of the best books that I read on cognitive behavior exercises (CBT) is "When Panic Attacks" by Dr. David Burns. Check your library. You may learn how to put truth to the lies and to help yourself, your daughter and other members this community. Stick with us here and keep us posted. We are on a journey... and despite the social anxiety, we are on the journey TOGETHER!






    Quote Originally Posted by Greerin View Post
    My anxiety takes over and feeds me lies - I'm not good enough, I'm going to make a fool of myself, I'm going to humiliate myself, everyone is looking at me, people will laugh.
    Even sitting here writing this is hard. It's telling me all of those things and more - nobody is interested in what you have to say.
    I know deep down that they are lies but they are just so strong and take over!
    Then there is that small part of my brain that tries so hard to take control and say "lies all lies, don't listen".
    I wish I could figure out a way to make that part bigger and stronger.
    My 14 year old daughter has not been able to attend school because of social phobia/anxiety and I don't know how to help her when I can't seem to even help myself.
    How do you fight those lies?

  5. #5
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    2
    This is what happens to me too. When the lies start coming, i just freeze. I feel like i cant move, cant breath, cant function. I'm currently a freshman in highschool, and school started three days ago, and i havent been able to go due to my anxiety. I was able to deal with it through middle school because i had classes with some of my closest friends and they would help me, but they all moved over the summer. I dont know what im gonna do. I started to freak out today because i was in the car at a stop sign by my school, and i was worried people would see me and start talking about me and laughing at me...

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    Podunk Earth
    Posts
    210
    It's not necessarily all lies, other people are pricks that could laugh at you. The trick is not to care if they do. You live your life for yourself, not to please others. Since you can't please all of the people all of the time all you can do is what you think is right. Try to operate somewhere between confidence and apathy.

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Maryland (MD)
    Posts
    1,252
    Welcome to the forum. Try to remember that your mind is playing tricks on you and that
    no one will make fun of you and what you have to say matters. Try to develop a thick
    skin or let your fears slide off of you like Teflon.

  8. #8
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Kootenay mountains, BC, Canada
    Posts
    2
    You are the first person I have written and really read here. I understand you completely. I am a geezer, will be 60 in October. I have lived with this demon for decades. I was married for 33 years and ended up divorced from a woman I still love. I think she got tired of me and this illness. It sucks hope from you. That said, I am hoping that contact with people like you will help me wind my way out of this curse.

  9. #9
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Kootenay mountains, BC, Canada
    Posts
    2
    It's like a devil on your shoulder.

  10. #10
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Maryland (MD)
    Posts
    1,252
    I will be 60 in September. I have also lived with this off and on for decades.

 

 

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