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  1. #11
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    3
    It does lie to you. I try to just dissuade myself sometimes - thinking "I'm ok, I'm good, Everything is fine" but sometimes it's overwhelming. Id like to find that book "When Panic Attacks" - thank you for sharing that!

  2. #12
    The biggest lie I suppose Social Anxiety tells me is that I'm socially awkward and that is me that is wrong, when in reality (maybe, just maybe) I just don't do all that well with some peoples selfish mannerisms/ways. Friendship for me has always been "one-sided". I watch the way people socialize now more than every and I see it as more of a competition of whom is the Alpha. I've better accepted that I am a loner, though it is lonely at times I will admit.

  3. #13
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    27
    At least you can recognize they are lies. It's the first step.

  4. #14
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Out & About :)
    Posts
    5,957
    Quote Originally Posted by Greerin View Post
    My anxiety takes over and feeds me lies - I'm not good enough, I'm going to make a fool of myself, I'm going to humiliate myself, everyone is looking at me, people will laugh.
    Even sitting here writing this is hard. It's telling me all of those things and more - nobody is interested in what you have to say.
    I know deep down that they are lies but they are just so strong and take over!
    Then there is that small part of my brain that tries so hard to take control and say "lies all lies, don't listen".
    I wish I could figure out a way to make that part bigger and stronger.
    My 14 year old daughter has not been able to attend school because of social phobia/anxiety and I don't know how to help her when I can't seem to even help myself.
    How do you fight those lies?
    Great subject. I foster that other part by finding a balance between what I choose to be real and what I choose is not. Making a choice that aims towards feeling less pain is not so easy when your currently surrounded by discomfort on all sides. In such a situation it can be hard to see where to aim. Finding a good direction for me is more about feeling rather than analyzing. I must admit though as a chronic thinker, analyzing does at first seem to be more comforting. The more I think, the more them lies creep in.

    Blaming others does not work form me. [although seeing it's not all about ones self can help] I often try that route. "It's not me ... it's others!" Narrr. Something does not feel right about that breakdown to me. It still comes back to how I choose to view the world. Choice and Owning the direction I take I feel best works to retrain the brain. Admittedly, right now I am not in a good place myself; but that is OK.

    As for your daughter: Seeing the pain you know so well and feeling powerless to do anything about it, is something I can relate to as has been very much the case for me and all my kids. It can at times be agonizing watching them grow in this world from where I sit. The reality of this world for me no matter how much I would like to paint it, presents "unavoidable growing pains" for both my wife and myself + our kids.

    I see you only have one post. I thank you for making this thread as is something always on me mind and it does at times ware me down. I will attempt to relate some more (in my own thread) on how I ride such fearful waves. For me - I still worry quite a lot even now my kids are much older and one with a child of her own. Now I have to navigate the view with a grandson and with the way I see the world - those waves just seem to be getting larger and more turbulent. Finding courage through being kind to myself [which is more about the way I react] does help me to drum up enough courage to weather the storms. I know that pretending the world in not messed up is as much a lie to me, as blaming others for the choices I make. I prefer to see things as is, but work on not projecting my fear. The later is what tends to affect our kids if we are not able to handle the truth - or whatever it is that we choose to see.

    That last bit I know sound so vague and it needs work. Think of it more as where we choose to look. That said, if too many of us ignore the pain of others, that too will eventually come back on us and all others. In some form or another. I guess if more of us just work on what we can change rather than fearing the worst in others then maybe ... just maybe ... the world won't look so threatening as it currently does.

    Something like that.

    Peace to you and yours.
    ~ Dave.
    Last edited by Ponder; 04-11-2017 at 02:58 PM.
    Covid19 Violator: Arrest me → https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOwRWYIZZxs&feature=youtu.be

 

 

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