PS - Thank You for not deleting your posts! I hear ya on that score.
Welcome to the Anxiety Forum - A Home for Those with Anxiety, Fear, or Panic Attacks.
PS - Thank You for not deleting your posts! I hear ya on that score.
"...the cost of sanity in this society is a certain level of alienation" ~ Terrance McKenna → https://pondermovedhere.blogspot.com/
I said tearing it apart, I imagine the problems I cling to as a wall in my mind, and I imagine I am tearing down these walls by seeing what's behind them, and by figuring out why couldn't I see them before. And about that video, if it is about hypnotism, yes I am weirded out.
What relaxes me the most is listening to birds chirp and feeling the first rays of the sun in the mornings...
Last edited by BerryBamboo; 06-18-2016 at 07:14 PM.
pretty much the same meaning to me Berry ... resistance - fighting for a breakthrough. Hypnosis only works if you allow it too. It's not about anyone trying to control another. Once that is understood, the concept can be a very powerful and useful tool.
Yes I like those kind of things as well.
"...the cost of sanity in this society is a certain level of alienation" ~ Terrance McKenna → https://pondermovedhere.blogspot.com/
I Think this its wrong because the society its programes in such a negative way
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I have watched The Mentalist, a nice TV Show, if what you mean is anything like that, yeah sure. But I don't want anyone in my head, and anything making me sleepy, I can't even take drugs that make me sleepy. I have a big issue about feeling drowsy. I told you I chose to suffer. When it surfaces, I go through my issues one by one, I don't force it, or I don't try to turn them into positive or negative, or making them into mental pictures, I try my best to see the truth, no matter how ugly, or how distorted it is. And I do it this way, so that in life I will continue to see the truth in the spot, and I hope I will no longer need to deal with them when they surface, I want to deal with them when they present themselves directly, and without having to distort my reality, I will fix them immediately. One can always hope, right?!
I have thought about hypnosis a while before. I wanted to try it. Actually I wanted to learn it to see my memories clearly in my head. But I need to go a long way to dabble with that, I am not even sure I will have made way enough for this. And about other usage of hypnosis, if I was into tricking my reality, sure. But I am not. And a part of this reason is coming from Sahaja Yoga, I was with them a long time, maybe I never left. And I saw a lot of positive things there, and it is based on awareness, since we are sharing videos, I would've shared one but as it turns out I need 25 posts for links, whatever, if you search this, you can find the link yourself; "Sahaja Kundalini 5 minute Guided Meditation"
Berry Bamboo
no that is ok. i can get ott at times in my posts especially if the anxiety dialogue is running. yes a similar thing in that i dont really know how i am until i am around people. i mean i just get into a ticking over kind of thing when i am on my own. and yes i so so get you regarding seeing through people..it is very disconcerting at times.
this i guess is why i find being around people for any length of time quite a challenge. yes it is hard to be expressive in a world where the status quo is the way that we are supposed to be.
yes understanding is great. i have had to go my own way in life as like you i find it way too painful to be around people at times. when i am experiencing difficulty with the mh.
its good to chat.
cough and the world coughs with you. fart and you fart alone
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From Cloudy Black; "for me life needs to be about thinking about others and helping others and in that we help ourselves we get to know ourselves", sorry it took me for a while to think. Lets be honest here. Life is not just about helping others, it is also about hurting others. People don't learn anything if you keep helping them. In my experience, people never helped me, they always hurt me, and I learned a lot because of this. And I tried to help them all the time, and they became worse and worse, they hurt me more. So, I gave up on helping others. If someone really needs help, they give off signals to catch your attention anyway. And helping someone is such a responsibility, but most of all, it is a great deal of responsibility to yourself. Because you learn a lot, you face a lot of things about who you are. If there are a lot of unknown aspects, then it is most likely you end up getting hurt, which is cool, that's when you see the truth.
It's really a harsh truth of nature. Strength always comes from tearing apart weakness. But if you are not aware of the truth, you end up tearing apart someone else. Because we see our problems in other people. This could be why we all share the same patterns we can't break. We see our weakness in someone else, and we try to destroy that weakness in someone else, which is a really pointless action but we take it anyway. Because it is easier, because we have the illusion of clinging to power, rather than letting go and finding true strength. And in time, we get powerful from tearing apart others, and they get weaker because they believe in everything they are told, rather then letting go. And moreover, the society gets hurt with this sort of behaviour. We just don't see the truth that the problem is always within, but others are just a mirror to show us our own problems. I hope I have written this in a way that you can understand.
i try not to hurt others but i can end up doing it as i do have a ruthless streak ...not sure how to actually name it. i speak my truth and it can be eye watering at times i think. dont get me wrong i will do my best not to continue to enable a friend to carry on in negative behaviour and this has lost me friends over the years.
i will go so far with people and then i think 0k time to leave them to it, because otherwise i would get dragged down too. helping people is about being there for them it is not about enabling a negative behaviour pattern.
i have compassion for people who are so lost in their way of being that is so not working, but i have to balance that with keeping my own mh healthy. yes it is always a risk when you travel with someone. it is the quality not the quantity.
interesting thing about seeing stuff in others that we really do not like..these days i ask myself is there something about my stuff in this? yep it is so seductive to project our stuff onto people and not even realise that is what we are doing. so when an inner button is pressed then to me that means that i am not dealing with something.
i think of it like this friends tell you what you want to hear and enemies tell you what you need to know ..not quite as black and white as that..
life is a lesson we each can learn from each other however that is not always the positive feel good factor.
cough and the world coughs with you. fart and you fart alone
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"Friends tell you what you want to hear and enemies tell you what you need to know". I like it!!! Maybe this is the reason I have lost a lot of friends myself. Why would they want to be with me!!? I say it as I see it, and I see a lot of things most people can't handle. But I lost friends because I couldn't say it as I saw it. I didn't want to. I believed in their need to keep holding on to weakness, clinging to things they don't understand, rather than understanding and letting go. It isn't healthy to hold on so tight. But fear is such a thing, you can't move on with fear, fear stops your energy, stops your movements. To gain your power, you choose to hold on to what you don't understand. My parents never understood me, they never understood themselves. They held on to me so tight, they wouldn't let go. So many mistakes, so many hurt because of it. Now I can't just figure out my own problems, my own pain, they are intertwined with my parents'. All they did was want things, they kept pushing their pain on me, they kept pushing their needs on me. They never saw, it wasn't my needs or pain, it was theirs. And I made such a mistake, I believed them, I believed it was supposed to be this way, I didn't challenge their perspective, I didn't push back. I didn't show them how wrong they were by not seeing me as who I am, only seeing me as their needs or pain made them see me like. They hated me, hated me so much, they didn't even see it. I didn't know what to do. I was so scared of everything I saw. I saw so much pain inside them. They are both from abusive families. Life was never kind to them. And they saw all their issues on me, put all their problems on me. It was really tough to live like that. A real psychological abuse. Now I am trying to correct the mistake I have done before. I am showing them the truth. And they are loving me for the first time for real. Not just with words, not just on the surface. Today mom finally told me she used to really hate me, she finally accepted the truth. It was a long time I have waited to hear this. It was therapeutic. It was, because I already knew how she felt, but she wanted to be a good person, so she would never admit that to herself before. Unfortunately, trying to be good, it is useless if you are not really honest with yourself. How horrible the truth, we have to accept it, deal with it. If we don't, we hurt others involuntarily, and we don't even know what we've done. And that's just sad.
Last edited by BerryBamboo; 06-22-2016 at 08:24 PM.
gosh i can so relate to that although you know that streak i was on about well it rears it head from time to time..i just find myself saying what i have been thinking and as i get older it get harder not to!! still at least that saves on the christmas card list!!
yep fear stops ya all rightie. you can see it in others but can ya see it in yourself? i know that i am full of fear. if i wasn't then i would be living a different life altogether. i have gotten so tired chronically tired that when i was in my early twenty's i had a job to stay awake i was that depressed. it was amazing i didn't end up having a serious accident.
parents hey still as an adult you get to spend the rest of your life putting it right!! with regs to my parents i was so shut down it would have not made much difference o sure my mother is the queen of manipulation and it is constant so she is determined i will give her that!
i realised a while back that actually my parents very rarely ask me about my life. i kinda got used to it. so much so that when people ask me or remember something i have said i am always surprised like wow.
dont expect to get any help from your parents as i see it they are part of the problem and not the solution right now. and to be fair to them they are doing the best that they can going on what parenting they received themselves from their parents (your grandparents).
all you can do i guess is not to get pulled into that pain and yes at times it is unavoidable but for the most part just have compassion for them after all they are human at the end of the day.
wow just reading your post as i am typing it sounds like you are making huge progress with your mom. my mother is so emotionally cold i asked her once if indeed she was my mother.
the truth is and can be sad ..but as the saying goes the truth will set you free. you sound very wise and maybe just maybe you will actually be a source of healing for your parents.
you also sound brave i have never challenged my parents and now they are both not in good health ...so yes what you are doing is good it may help you later on when they are older and hopefully you will have got what i call the hardcore resentment out of the way
cough and the world coughs with you. fart and you fart alone
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I am sorry for your parents. Yeah, I am trying to get rid of all the resentment but is it possible, it's funny you know, if you spend some time with us, you would say there is nothing wrong, but then people really can't stay with us long. They start suffocating with all the resentment. It is a miracle we survived together. How does that even work, a lot of space between us, probably.
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