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  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 2016
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    1

    Post Parents aren't supporting my decision to relocate

    Hi,

    Okay so a long story short, I'm currently working in London living at home, in a 4 year long-long distance relationship. I'm 26 years old.

    Me and my girlfriend have decided to live in her area of England (Hull area) which is a 3 hour drive from my hometown.

    I've recently just been offered a job in her area, where I'll be taking a large pay cut, but will have no commuting costs and housing is much cheaper.

    My parents are completely against my decision, they say its stupid for me to take such a big pay cut, they've said they think im going backward in my career (even though the job itself is great). They are saying because of my decision they won't be supporting me financially if I need it, and that I'm effectively cutting them out of my life in my decision.

    How do I approach parents like this?

    I suffer from anxiety too (ocd), from a young age, so this is really just making me doubt everything now. It's keeping me up at night, sweating, not eating etc.

    Thanks in advance for reading.

  2. #2
    You're parenrts probably just want what's best for you, but it can be frustrating.

    I guess you've already tried sitting down with them and telling the pros and cons? If you haven't, it would be the first step I think.
    Maybe tell them it would mean a lot to you to have their support in this.

    Do you have any other siblings you can try talking to? Or any other family members to talk things through with?

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
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    Maryland (MD)
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    1,170
    That is a very tough call and a case could be made either way.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    Podunk Earth
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    210
    If the job is great and it will make you happy, go for it. From what you say it sounds like you're balancing the reduced income with less expensive housing costs and eliminating the costs of commuting. If your parents want to over react to a career change by cutting you out of their lives, that's their problem. I think they might change their minds as time goes on and you demonstrate that the decision was the correct one for you. Giving advice and wanting you to succeed is one thing, but trying to dictate how a 26 year old lives by using threats of isolation seems somewhat out of line to me.
    Whatever your decision, good luck to you.

  5. #5
    Senior Member
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    Aug 2011
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    Maine, United States
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    813
    Apb90, since you're a full-fledged adult, you have to do what you think is best for you, not what you're parents think. Your parents have a right to their beliefs. But you have the right to run your life the way you think is best.

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Sunny Florida
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    263
    In the end it's your life, I would do what makes you happy. The pay cuts not good for obvious reasons but I would do it if you think the relationship will last longer and if you could find a better paying job. As far as your parents go hopefully they get over whatever they are feeling with you moving away, my mother wouldn't care what I do as long as I make the smartest decision I could.
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  7. #7
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
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    Vancouver
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    I agree with what everybody says here.You are an adult and you are capable of making your own decisions.I can understand that your parents are worried about you but cutting you off like that just doesn't seem right to me.My cousin faced a similar situation where in the end he had to move out and deposit most of his belongings in a storage unit until he could find a suitable place to live in.But everything patched up in the end and now he is doing pretty well.This just shows that you have to stick to what you believe in.If you know that you have made the right decision go for it.Don't think too much about it either,it might just make you more doubtful and you will loose your courage and confidence.

 

 

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