I think I have ergophobia, how do I treat it without a therapist?

[angelfire7]

I constantly worry about my work performance, making mistakes, being fired, heavy workloads, etc. I have been at this job for almost 6 weeks now and I can say I know most of the job functions about 90% but I do have to ask my trainer (she was in my position then promoted) questions to learn. It is affecting me because I start to feel sick and have terrible headaches to the point I want to run away and hide.

I was not like this with my last job because it was really easy and I didn't care too much to get fired since I was unhappy being a temp for over a year. I also was super close to my coworkers and my boss was never really there and was really chill. This job on the other hand has great pay and benefits but is very challenging. Sometimes I get a heavy workload all at once, people bother me and I have to multi-task, it's very detailed, and I work in a more conservative environment. I think my fear comes from my very very first job when it was super toxic and everything I did was wrong, manager hated me, and I got laid off. So I guess I'm a bit scared of it happening again and I'm scared I won't be good at my new job.

I asked my trainer feedback on how I've been doing so far hoping it'd help. She said I've made strides since we first started and overall really good. I've made mistakes along the way but that's normal and how I learn. Then she told me to watch time sensitivity which is the hardest part of the job and get things done in payroll before the deadline. I then worried if I did something to make her say this...I also didn't understand because some papers I can't turn in until a new hire gives me their forms no matter how much I bug them so I need clarification when she comes back from vacation... But I guess it's good feedback but still I feel sick to my stomach thinking about failing. I asked her how long it took to master the job and she said 3 years because of inconsistencies with the job! I hate feeling stupid and needy.

It affects my life and over the weekend and work is in the back of my mind. I try to rationalize it by telling myself but it doesn't help. The weird thing is I feel less stressed when I am working. I think because I'm facing my "fear" trying actively to work it out.

Any techniques that can help? I think I may seek professional help if I don't feel better as time goes on. Right now I'm pretty much ok...some days I'm not.

[mindglobe]

The most common type of therapies used are cognitive-behavioral therapies. However try to motivate yourself in doing better your task and experience new things every time.

[drinae]

Sorry you're having such a rough time. It does sound like your fears are irrational, so recognizing that in the long run will hopefully help. Remember, for instance, that it's also possible that your trainer just mentioned time-sensitivity because she felt she should try to come up with some kind of advice to give you since you were asking about your performance - maybe it was something she herself had had trouble with and thought you'd like to focus on that if you're looking for ways to improve your work (which is what you appeared to be doing if you asked about your performance - she likely didn't see that you were worried about your performance and instead assumed that you are simply interested in doing the best you can at your job). She may not have been thinking that there was anything wrong with your performance in that regard. And even if time-sensitivity was a bit of an issue, it is not necessarily a catastrophe, you're new and it would be understandable.

You could try meditation, for instance, or some kind of relaxation to get your mind off work in your free time. And you could look for books on cognitive therapy techniques to challenge your anxious thoughts, as far as I understand such techniques might work well for performance anxiety and the like.