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  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    1

    Question Getting nowhere or no help from my counselor, should I switch or stop going?

    This is my first post so bear with my scrambled mind as I try to explain my situation and negative experience with my counselor.

    Okay so last Thursday I went to my counselor appointment that I go to every 3 weeks or so for the past 3-4 years. And in that time he hasn't really helped me to cope with my anxiety or depression. A little back story: pretty recently my psychiatrist prescribed me new medication (Viibryd) and is weening me off of my very low dose of Risperidone, and to be honest, I really feel like giving up. My mind and my body feels like they are on their last thread and it's just getting harder to overcome this depression/anxiety/depersonalization/derealization/ maybe even psychosis. Even now I feel unreal like I'm going to lose control, it feels like a constant battle I'm destined to lose and after what happened with my counselor I'm really starting to question my sanity. When I talk to my counselor we don't really talk about my issues or whats going on in my head, if I do manage to bring it up or anything personal he just says "yeah.... yeah" and changes the subject. All we ever talk about is movies and video games because I mentioned to him once that playing games is my hobby. Every month for the past 4 years the subjects have consisted of virtual reality gaming and sub-par movies. So Thursday I went to his office and said enough, is enough I must tell him how I truly feel, I have to be completely open with him, so I told him that I've just been incredibly stressed, depressed, and didn't see the point to doing anything at all. My voice became more and more wavered because its difficult for me to talk about my problems out loud without getting emotional and I was doing everything in my power not to cry in front of this guy. I was so close to telling him that I just wanted to give up on everything and end it, but I could not do it because then I would burst into tears and he would put me into a behavioral center (I've been to one when I was 17 but I'm 19 now so they will place me with adults and I'm just very terrified I will have a negative experience there.) He told me that I should look into this program where I receive checks from the government because he says I would qualify. Hearing that made me feel subhuman almost. At this point I just thought how could my life have gone to so much shit in 4 years where I wont be able to function as a normal human being anymore. So I started crying, and bawling my eyes out, and he is just staring at me not saying a word. I can't even form words anymore and it feels like I'm about to have a mental breakdown and he doesn't even attempt to comfort me or anything. All he is saying is "yeah... yeah."

    Then out of nowhere he says "Hey, do you have pay per view?"

    I look at him confused, all I'm thinking is "is this guy seriously going to bring up another movie?"

    He looks shocked and clearly uncomfortable and says, "there's this new movie out right now, and I think you're going to like it." He then starts digging through his trash can and picks up a flyer/advertisement for direct tv movies that are currently showing. "You know the story about Moby Dick right?" OH. MY GOD.

    I literally want to scream at him so loud, I am so furious because the one time that I try to be open and get out of my comfort zone so I can get the help that I desperately need and want, and he wants to talk about Moby Dick? Are you kidding me??? I look at him just incredibly dumbfounded and eventually say "Umm... yeah?"

    "Because it's a true story, apparently the author of the book heard a fisherman tell him the story of a whale that crashed the ship. Heh, pretty crazy right? And this new movie is about that, and I'm pretty sure you're going to enjoy it."

    I'm trying to wipe away my tears and this guy keeps on going on about this Moby Dick movie that I honestly couldn't care less about. Then he checks my files and says "Ehhh, boy. Gee wiz, look at the time. I'm just so backed up on patients today that I'm going to have to end this session short." I say its fine and start to get up and leave when he says, "Hey you've been looking better lately, keep up the good work." At this point I was seeing red, and I quickly left without looking back. I got into my car and started screaming, I must have looked like a maniac. I was trying so hard not to swerve into the oncoming lane of traffic.

    Anyways I was wondering if I could get any form of advice as to what I should do now? I really don't want to go back there from the embarrassment of crying and just getting absolutely nowhere from my treatment for the past 4 years now. Is a counselor really all that necessary anyways? I do realize that I need to have some form of talk therapy for me to get through what I have, but I don't know if I should continue to see another counselor or a therapist? Anyways thanks for reading about my current plight.

  2. #2
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Location
    underground
    Posts
    6
    Its actually very difficult to find a good therapist/counselor but you could probably throw darts at the yellow pages and find someone better than this guy. At the very minimum they should listen which this one isn't doing at all. My current therapist is average but at least she listens and makes me comfortable where I can reveal my vulnerabilities. She doesn't give great advice and doesn't always understand me but if I quit I notice I sink more than I do if I was going. Having said all that, there is no salvation in therapists/counselors but they can give you the ability to continue going forward. I have found that just hearing yourself talk aloud can help you ease emotional issues and lead to discoveries.

 

 

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