I just really need to hear from people who understand anxiety disorders, especially social anxiety. Please hear my situation. I'm a mess right now and I wish so badly that I could just disappear. I'm going to make it as short as possible so bare with me.

I have severe social anxiety. Not the kind that keeps me from interacting with people because I don't let it stop me and I'm proud of how far I've come in that regard, but the kind that makes me question how I'm being perceived by others, and have the deepest and most intense fear that I'm being judged or thought of as weird or unacceptable to any standard.

So here is a quick background to my situation. I'm working at a place that was my dream job for years. I got the job last July, and after the ice broke and my coworkers got to know me (which was terrifying and awful process), things have actually been surprisingly great... so great, in fact, that my superiors have proposed to make me a supervisor.

So here's where it gets rough. I'm 29 and a girl. I have a coworker who is 60, a man, and has been doing this job for 35 years. That's longer than I've been alive. The moment I met him I've had nothing but respect and admiration. I really started to look up to this guy. He is my dad's age doing what I want to do for the rest of my life, how couldn't I see him as a total bad ass?

Well, his demeanor has started to change with me in the last few months. The superiors are telling him he is doing an awful job, and that I am correcting all his mistakes. This coworker has started to resent the living shit out of me, and as a result, has completely stopped relying on me for anything. He is cold, and down right rude to me. He talks about me to my friends. If I'm the only person in the room and he needs help with something, he will yell for someone else, right in front of me making me feel useless. He talks down to me, and when he walks away he shakes his head and huffs an aggravated sigh as if to be utterly appalled by me.

One day I dug down deep, and built up the courage to confront him. That took so much. I mean, so much. I asked him if I ever did something to upset him. I got absolutely nothing in return. A solid "nope." and a completely unchanged situation. I broke down in the break room after that. That was so difficult and so unsuccessful, I wanted to leave so badly but the day had only just started. Stupid of me to not wait until the end of the day to do it, but I wanted to get it over with or else I'd be anxiously anticipating it all day. Awful. Just awful.

I can't talk to the superiors because they will confront him about it and he will know I said something, making the situation worse.

I've spoken with trusted coworkers who have told me they've noticed the attitude towards me as well. They are supportive and it helps, but the issue is still the issue.

So I hold back my tears and struggle to stay focused while having to work side by side with him, breathing in the thick negative air. And then I cry in the car on my way home, feeling completely emotionally run down from the hours of tension I've had to bask in. And then I have panic attacks thinking about the moment they announce that I'm the supervisor. The day that I become the one who has to oversee his efforts. I have panic attacks thinking about how I should be happy, but instead I'm depressed because of this one man. Because the thought of having to ask him to do something makes me want to disappear.

I cry and I panic over one of the most amazing things to happen to my career, and nobody understands why I feel this way. Nobody understands that it isn't as simple as "well clearly you shouldn't care what he thinks" or "just don't listen to him". No one understands what I'm going through. I can't breathe when I think about it.

My husband doesn't understand either. He knows I have anxiety, and he does a wonderful job talking me through my panic attacks, but he is on the other side of this hell bubble, and I just want to hear from people who know where I'm coming from.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. It means so much to me.