Ok. Am I the Only One With This Problem Or Not?

[Prince Romeo]

So does anyone else here have a hard time with making eye contact or am I the only one in the whole wide world with this problem? I mean, I feel like when someone looks at me, their looking into my soul. It's such a nightmarish feeling. And alot of people with social phobia supposedly have eye contact issues. So, anyone here with this problem and how do you cope with it? Also, is there anyone who has overcome it?

[TreeStar]

Oh... I did have really bad issue with this. Like REALLY bad! For years-and for the reason you say. Pretty sure they could see into my soul.

I started smiling at people when I made eyecontact with them (this didn't happen over night, steadily increased), some smile back, others look away. I pass the same people on my way to work all the time, depending on what time I walk. There are three old people who I wave at now, after about a year of smiling at. One of these people stops to talk to me everytime.

It was a struggle though, to maintain eye contact enough to smile when every part of my body as telling me to look away. It still is a struggle on the bad days, that's generally how I can tell if I'm having a bad day, how my eye contact is.

[Anne1221]

The more you do it, look back at people and smile, the easier it will become. And, you'll have the added benefit of knowing that you've made someone's day a little brighter with your smile. It took me a long time to realize that other people aren't thinking about me. They're busy thinking about their own lives, which is what I'm doing too.

[Prince Romeo]

Oh... I did have really bad issue with this. Like REALLY bad! For years-and for the reason you say. Pretty sure they could see into my soul.
It was a struggle though, to maintain eye contact enough to smile when every part of my body as telling me to look away. It still is a struggle on the bad days, that's generally how I can tell if I'm having a bad day, how my eye contact is.

Yeah, I noticed that too. My eye contact is significantly worse on days where I feel very unwell. I really don't know, personally, how I should go about beating this.

[Boo Bass]

Making eye contact with strangers you pass on the street is a common exercize in CBT for people with social anxiety.

Then again , you dont have to make eye contact. People assume it is dishonest not to but in reality, those that make the most eye contact are scammers, liars and salesmen.

This is a bit off topic, but seasoned liars making eye contact tend to open their eyes wider. Normal liars will blink when they lie its automatic.

Eye contact isnt that big a deal really. People probably just assume youre shy if you avoid eye contact. Nothing wrong with that

[TreeStar]

Interestingly, I have been wearing sunglasses a lot these days (because it's sunny-dunno why I feel the need to expalin that) and have ended up doing an experiment, because I look at people's eyes (they can't see mine). They don't seem so scary really. I've just found myself wondering a lot of what they are thinking about.

[Prince Romeo]

Making eye contact with strangers you pass on the street is a common exercize in CBT for people with social anxiety.

Then again , you dont have to make eye contact. People assume it is dishonest not to but in reality, those that make the most eye contact are scammers, liars and salesmen.

This is a bit off topic, but seasoned liars making eye contact tend to open their eyes wider. Normal liars will blink when they lie its automatic.

Eye contact isnt that big a deal really. People probably just assume youre shy if you avoid eye contact. Nothing wrong with that

Hey Boo Bass. I think what you said here makes alot of sense. It's funny how people think that someone with strong eye contact automatically is trustworthy just because of that simple fact. I mean, anyone can have good eye contact, including criminals like the ones you mentioned or sociopaths, narcissists (like my dad) and so forth. I absolutely agree.

Interestingly, I have been wearing sunglasses a lot these days (because it's sunny-dunno why I feel the need to expalin that) and have ended up doing an experiment, because I look at people's eyes (they can't see mine). They don't seem so scary really. I've just found myself wondering a lot of what they are thinking about.

I kinda feel that way too, TreeStar. I almost always wear my sunglasses outside of my home, like at dialysis, even on rainy days, just to feel safe from judgmental eyes. But I still can feel the anxiety. Even though people cannot see my eyes with my sunglasses on, it still feels like they can somehow. If that makes any sense.

[Zena]

This is an issue for me, too. It can get really bad. People have gotten frustrated with me because of my failure to make eye contact with them. I wear shades when I'm out to help decrease my anxiety but it never totally goes away. When I catch a stranger staring at me, it is super duper awkward. Sometimes I'll just flash a smile, quickly look away, and avoid looking at them again at all costs lol.

Good username choice btw

[zms16]

So does anyone else here have a hard time with making eye contact or am I the only one in the whole wide world with this problem? I mean, I feel like when someone looks at me, their looking into my soul. It's such a nightmarish feeling. And alot of people with social phobia supposedly have eye contact issues. So, anyone here with this problem and how do you cope with it? Also, is there anyone who has overcome it?

You're not alone at all! So many people struggle to make eye contact.

I manage to do it a lot of the time, but not always. It's not uncommon to become very conscious of making eye contact.

When you're talking to someone, you don't have to make eye contact for long. If you can, look at them for a couple of seconds, then look away into the distance as if you're imagining creating a picture of what you're talking about, then look back at them again. This is quite a natural interaction.

[TreeStar]

Here's an exercise that may help. When you go to a shop, try and make eye contact with the shop assistant that is serving you.
It's surprising how many people don't look at them, and act af if they are a robot, don't say thank you and stuff (customers can be rude to them).
If you make eye contact with them and smile, they will really appreciate that.