Welcome to the Anxiety Forum - A Home for Those with Anxiety, Fear, or Panic Attacks.
Driving 468x60
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: My Mother

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    26

    My Mother

    I can see I am not much help here. I do reach out to the wonderful contributors regarding the situation with my mother. She moved in with me 21/2 years ago because she couldn't care for herself. She is a classic narcissist with newly forming dementia. She has never thought about another person's feelings all her life. She has always been mentally ill but my brother and I are only realizing now how extensive it is. She worries constantly! I know we are familiar with that aspect, but she has nothing to back her worry up anymore. Her mother was a housebound agoraphobic, and now she is following the same path. Her anxiety spreads though my house like a plague. She has no remorse, just lies and fabricated memories. I can't talk to her very well, it turns into past experiences and repeated memories. I can have a good day and she can take it away with a sentence. I have the compassion although it is very difficult. I feel like I have failed this community forum and my mother herself.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    404
    Hi Other shoe.

    I'm sorry things have been going so rough in regard to your situation with your mother. I can't imagine the pressure you are enduring having maintain your own responsibilities and also care for her being so ill right now. I wonder if you have anybody else that can take on (help you with) her care so that you aren't left with the duty totally yourself, even if you could find 1 other person to take shifts (so to speak), so this way it doesn't fall on you all of the time and take a toll on your household. Again, I don't know as I'm not going through this personally, so I don't even pretend to have the answers here.

    You have not failed this community in any way though, you've offered support to many here (including myself) and I don't think you failed your mother either. I hope you find some support to help you because if your mother is already becoming combative now, you may have not be able to fully take care of her needs without some help.

    Best wishes and we are all here for you when you need us.
    Last edited by salvator here; 03-03-2016 at 06:03 PM. Reason: Corrected Errors

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    26
    Thanks Salvator here and there, I suffer the unfortunate life of worry. You stand the fight proudly. I mean no insult to your name by the way, it just seems like you're everywhere-a good thing! My mother is merely a tribute to my problems. She was always in constant fear and defended her territory fiercely. She would scare us kids with anything, mostly in her mind, but it would take on a life of it's own. We therefore grew up in constant fear of the world with no explanations. A person will hit us in a car, we will be hit by meteorites, the gangs will abduct us. Remind you, this was life in 1970's New York City, not a happy place. For all her worry I would end up wandering the streets with no guidance and somehow survived! She slapped me silly for disappearing once but I had to get away. I don't know if this was love or her own fear of ignorance. She is a sick woman. Now I am a sick man.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    300
    Quote Originally Posted by Other shoe View Post
    I can see I am not much help here. I do reach out to the wonderful contributors regarding the situation with my mother. She moved in with me 21/2 years ago because she couldn't care for herself. She is a classic narcissist with newly forming dementia. She has never thought about another person's feelings all her life. She has always been mentally ill but my brother and I are only realizing now how extensive it is. She worries constantly! I know we are familiar with that aspect, but she has nothing to back her worry up anymore. Her mother was a housebound agoraphobic, and now she is following the same path. Her anxiety spreads though my house like a plague. She has no remorse, just lies and fabricated memories. I can't talk to her very well, it turns into past experiences and repeated memories. I can have a good day and she can take it away with a sentence. I have the compassion although it is very difficult. I feel like I have failed this community forum and my mother herself.
    Having to take care of a parent is a chore in it self without having to deal with mental issues. Perhaps I support group would help, there are many people in the same boat deal with the strain of taking care of parents or relatives. Also at some point, your well being will have to trump the responsibility you feel towards your mother. When it gets to the point she is causing you to have problems its time to look for an alternative solution to her care.

    My family is currently taking care of elderly relatives..fortunately it is spread out among 5 siblings, but even so it is very draining, both physically, emotionally and mentally.

    Best wishes.

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    magic round about
    Posts
    309
    Other shoe i have elderly parents and my dad is quite poorly which can take a downhill turn quite suddenly and then he kinda picks up. my mother looks after him and it is very difficult due to the nature of his illness.

    my mother is not a natural born carer and it has certainly had to burst her bubble of her own me me world. all her life its always been about her own needs. suffice it to say i struggle with my mother and have a job not to shout at her at times. and when she has got one on her i put my headphones on and tune her out.

    "I can't talk to her very well, it turns into past experiences and repeated memories. I can have a good day and she can take it away with a sentence. I have the compassion although it is very difficult.

    it is good to have compassion but then you need to watch that she doesnt bring you down. also just a point to mention but have you ever thought that you might be enabling her to continue to behave like this? with my own mother i do my utmost not to get pulled into her martyr drama otherwise it completely messes with my emotions.

    have a look at http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationshi...t-relationship
    cough and the world coughs with you fart and you fart alone
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

 

 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Driving Large