Can I Trust My Mind?

[Boo Bass]

junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/relax.html

Hi Salvator

Please find the above link and scroll down to the 4 free talks by Claire Weekes. Go straight to number 3. Everything you are experiencing will be explained. Then listen to the whole lot takes about 80 minutes. I guarantee it will help you right now. I don't have enough posts to post the full link just put a www before

BB

[salvator here]

Thank you Boo for the link - very helpful

I can see it clear as a bell (I can feel it / taste it / smell it). I want it - a real life like others have! I deserve it. Its just soo far ahead in the distance and sometimes its blurry and I can't see it anymore. I worry it will fade away. Do I just keep my foot on the gas and drive until the car runs out of gas and hope for the best? I don't even know where I'm going and have no clear direction.

I have nobody in my court, nobody pulling for me (I don't mean here - in real life). The world doesn't want me to succeed. It feels like every force in the world is against me. My own mind is against me in fact!

I'm am imprisoned by my own penitentiary - my own mind!!!

[brfoo]

Hey

Don't make yourself beleive the world is against you! It is not. It is a place where sadness and hapiness coexist. There are opportunities waiting for you to grab. I know you can have a life you want. I totally beleive in it. I read some of your comments and you seem a kind and clever guy to me! You deserve it. Sometimes just focus on the now, the little thing you can make in the present to help you go forward. These little things will add up eventually. There was a time, when I barely went out to the street. I felt like I was ugly, I just didn't want people to judge me to speak to me. Silly, right? Nowdays I travel, visit friends and so on... I still have these feelings though. But at that time I hit a financial low where I either had to find work or give up.(Sometimes life pushing you can be a great force to do things) I was lucky, my friend helped me (I was totally stressed about the whole job thing). So I found work and I had to go there every day. This was an external force, but you know what? I got used to it. The feelings still bother me, but don't limit me anymore. Now I am on the job hunt again, but without this experience I would not be able to go to interivews.

Sometimes just go with the flow (if it is a positive thing- don't listen to the negatives). Just decide to take a walk, step outside and go, enjoy the sunshine, the snow, the wind or the rain falling on your face making you feel alive, do not think about it. Do it as quickly as you can. It won't hurt you as you might think. Same with everything else. We do put too much thinking and analyzing into things and limit ourselves from experiencing life.

I beleive life gets to us and gives us opportunities. It is up to us to grab them (and kick anxiety in the ass)

Well these are not only for anxiety, but I would really recommend to read the following: F**k It: The Ultimate Spiritual Way by John C. Parkin and The power of Now by Eckhart Tolle They did not change my life, but helped me get new perspective on things.

"A religious man is on top of a roof during a great flood. A man comes by in a boat and says "get in, get in!" The religous man replies, " no I have faith in God, he will grant me a miracle."
Later the water is up to his waist and another boat comes by and the guy tells him to get in again. He responds that he has faith in god and god will give him a miracle. With the water at about chest high, another boat comes to rescue him, but he turns down the offer again cause "God will grant him a miracle."
With the water at chin high, a helicopter throws down a ladder and they tell him to get in, mumbling with the water in his mouth, he again turns down the request for help for the faith of God. He arrives at the gates of heaven with broken faith and says to Peter, I thought God would grand me a miracle and I have been let down." St. Peter chuckles and responds, "I don't know what you're complaining about, we sent you three boats and a helicopter." /God granting miracles/

Sorry for the rambling, I just really wanted you to feel you are not alone and we here beleive in you!

[Alexandra Constantin]

Dearest Salvator, you are going through so much, it is understandable you are really shaken up. I will apologies for my English, it is not my native language, but hope you will be able to make something out of what I am saying. I don't want you to feel as if you are exposed and other posters are here to judge you, point fingers, or even offer advice, as if they are in a much better place then you are. It might make you feel what you expressed earlier, that the 'good world' is available to everyone else but you. It is not the case, think of the whole world, there are people in all kinds of life situations, worse or better then yours. People that would have snapped, going through what you are experience, and people that would have gotten better. It doesn't matter, you are the only one who matters in your own reality. it seems to me, that while you have a very clear and sound way of thinking, you tend to rely on what others do, what others have, while you feel alone, with no one around for help. Drawing on my personal experience, I am in a very good place NOW, but have been much much worse just a few years ago. The good world, wasn't allowed to me as well, then. It is just a matter of time, as time is another dimension which can be added when you do this kind of comparison. You can and should think at yourself when you were in your worst, and yet have gotten better, through your sheer will power. And let me tell you another thing, you are part of this world that seems against you. You are matter, you are energy, you are part of it. You helped yourself get better, then the world has helped you get better. It is just a matter of mastering what this world has given you and recognizing when YOU have made a difference, and being proud of yourself for that. I am absolutely sure (because all of us tend to do this) that if you focused as much on the good things you have achieved, as much as you do on your negatives, you would find out that you are a wonderful person (yes, that negative voice included). Cliche, I know but YOU are the answer, nobody else, and it's hard, and tiring, but you know what ? It is extremely rewarding. And you are not alone, just ask for help, wanna be friends? I am here, tell me everything, I am a master of not judging and believe me I have my fair share of worries, problems, things that may make you think, wow, glad I didn't act like her

[Alexandra Constantin]

Sorry Salvator, it seems I cannot answer until I have 10 or more posts Actively working on it