What is happening to me?

[Caravonne]

Hello,
I'm a 17 year old guy. Life was all blooming for me until I was hit with mild anxiety about two years ago which went away with talk therapy. Since last October, I've had episodes witnessing the return of anxiety. It started with worrying about academics but eventually turned into health anxiety.
By December, last year, I had witnessed panic attacks and visualizing horrible scenes related to deadly diseases that could possibly happen to me. Even though some of them were fictitious. By that time, I also learnt how to keep my anxiety at control. It was Christmas and I had more or less brought it under control.
Suddenly since last week, strange events have been happening to me. I woke up with racing thoughts that I'm about to die soon. Then the following days it turned to health OCD. I feared and doubted every action that I did. Shadows passing by me appeared as if people just passed by. Every sound made me tensed.
I can't actually describe it but it feels, every moment, as if I'm in a dream. I've experienced derealization before but it's not exactly like that. The op and back of my head feels heavy and it seems that I'm in a dream. I can do my day to day activities, definitely with a lack of focus as it distracts me every time.
I know I've severe OCD but I fear medications will make me worse or begin intrusive harm thoughts in me.
I want answers to this feeling that I feel. It feels as if I'm disconnected from reality. I have schiz-OCD as well and every thought makes my head clogged up. It's like living in a horror movie as I'm suspecting every sound and light that comes flashing in my way. I fear that I'll go out of control and do harm to myself, though I'm extremely positive that I'll not do anything such cowardly.
It's just that I need to free myself from all this and enjoy my life as a teen

[RoderickLariviere]

I can understand what you are feeling. You should consult your therapist, you might need some anti-anxiety medication for proper treatment.