Anxiety is a giant paradox, isn't it? You feel goddamn awful, 24/7 sometimes, yet by trying to overcome your condition quickly (to minimize your suffering) you risk worsening it.
Like you, I think I've tried way too hard to get better at times. Looking at it from afar, it's pretty obvious how such an attitude would keep a person sick. The amygdala is on the lookout for a danger. By desperately trying to overcome your anxiety, you sort of confirm to it that something is actually very wrong.
I guess that's why I've always thought of it as an illness you grow out of, rather than cure. Cultivating relaxation and good health implies that there can be set backs along the way. Cure implies the process is linear - which it rarely ever is!
I hope that this latest revelation is but one more positive seed planted in the garden of your mind.
If you feel your body is under a lot of stress, you can try progressive muscle relaxation and magnesium. Together they're likely to help rid some of the stress from your muscles. Long-term you'll probably need to repair your adrenals. The poor adrenal gland takes one hell of a beating during periods of immense stress. Sometimes it needs a little holistic help to get back to its fighting best. Shouldn't be too complicated, but will require a few minor lifestyle changes for a few months. Knock 25-30% more off of your anxiety before thinking about that, though.
