So then I have been self sabotaging and Binging and acting pathetic afterwards. I'm just watching my body become slowly a bloated, mess. My dresses seem to all fit me like glad bags and I just feel so miserable in whatever I try on to wear. So i mainly wear pants but wish I felt more feminine and yet the more I binge on carbs and oodles the more I am further away from ever having the ideal female figure . I feel terrible and wish I had more self control to beat this cold season from making me feel like I cant go out after work to my gym as I have during rest of the year. I cant gain any extra weight, whatever that meanzzzz.