Story of anxiety

[dublinanxiety]

Hello!

im new to this i had no other choice because its hard really to talk about whats wrong with me and why i act like i act.

Several years ago my father was n hospital suffering really bad with an illness(went on to fully recover) for 4 years when i was in my teen years and i kind of went off the rails a bit as a youngster getting involved with some drugs(not the heaviest), but id smoke lots of pot and sometimes engage in cocaine taking but mainly was smoking on a daily basis 247..not to mention in trouble with the law a good bit of the time also.

When i got to my later teens i was still smoking a heavy amount -not going to school much etc- so i still can remember to this day the day i had a joint one morning and i didnt feel great after it. Went home,sat down for a while and next i remeber just slumping on to the floor and could not breathe at all(well i thought i couldnt)!

I sat on the floor with my mother somehow knowing there wasnt much wrong with me. I than proceeded to tell her everything.

That was the start.

The months that followed saw me go to GPs monthly,hooked up to ecg's and hospital visits. I had panic attacks,always scared that something was wrong with me health-wise.

when i reached my mid twentys i got some sort of hold on it,i became more able to control anxiety,but i adapted this horrible phobia of getting on planes and having to tank up on beer to be able to fly with sone sort of anyway calm.

Ten years on from my first panic attack it seems that i have some really bad times and some better times. But the worst thing ive noticed that anxiety and health anxiety comes with depression and feeling down about stuff like the fear of dying and people around you passing away. Now let me get one thing straight- i am no way suicidal or i dont think im that crazy but id just like to share with you the biggest problems i face. Id just like to add that nowadays my hangovers from drinking leave me not being able to sleep at night and id jump out of my sleep all night if i manage to doze off my heart would just jump and id jump out of the bed and the anxiety and worry is more real!

Here is just a list of things i deal with and hopefully people could share theirs with me.

Id be REALLY interested to hear

- Worrying about my health,if im sick,my lifespan etc
- Post nights out on the town,needing a drink to help me sleep at night after drinking so i dont get a panic attack(not an alcoholic)
- Terrible at flying ever since first panic attack
- not been able to sit still without having to shake my leg or any limbs
- Tightness in chest,rapid heartbeat,ALWAYS feeling my pulse
- Hard to swallow/lump in throat
- Diziness
- Breaking out in a sweat in a close setting with people
- Feeling stupid or cringing over what people think of me after talking to them
- Generally caring too much what other people think
- Feeling down and anxious more so late at night

Thanks for reading

Keith
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[whiterose]

I can't even imagine flying on an airplane...long distance car rides make my anxiety to up. Caring about what people think too much or over analysing every conversation makes me avoid most social gatherings or celebrations.

[RoderickLariviere]

Negative convictions, or stressing over stressing, join to your anxiety and keep stress going. So, to get relieve from anxiety, it is better to take some anti-anxiety pills.

[Anne1221]

I think most people with anxiety suffer from some of the same things as you. If not, they just have a different list. The key is to get it under control as best you can.