Under My Rock - The musings of an Anti Social Individual

[Ponder]

Soul Retrieval :

[Ponder]

My summery of today's private session at the Royal Commission and favorite photo for the day:

[Ponder]

It's been a huge day. My battery is just about depleted, but figured a quick post in a familiar place might help me settle in an otherwise unsettling place. I know coming to the city was not going to be easy for me. I am very fortunate to have Lisa with me. I'm feeling quite down but that's OK. I'm thankful that I was able to answer the questions the commission had for me. I really don't think I was able to share my story from my perspective, but I still left feeling I had somehow helped by showing up. The commissioner seemed to be of good character as too everyone else that did what they could to make me feel safe.

There is really not much more to say - other than what's already been said.

I'm grieving still - there is no doubt about that. I've got some more info to go home with and an invitation to continue to assist. I'll take my time with that.
__________________________________________________

It was good to catch up with my Son who's been doing well on his own. He came into the city to visit us at the hotel we are staying at. After he left, I told Lisa I needed to go for a walk. I have the appearance of someone fit and healthy, plus well presented - but my heart is deeply weighted for those I see regressed in the shadows. I really felt for the image I captured today. I wanted to go up and introduce myself but it did not feel right to do. I think the best I can do, is take the image and relay the contrast for others to feel as they may.

For me - there is a deep connection to such solitude that will always be with me until I die. It's that unique perspective that I'm now drawing from in order to be content no matter the pain.

Time to put myself on the charger ...
Night - ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Thx for listening.
~Dave.

[Ponder]

Feeling a little better this morning. I left Lisa at the motel whilst I went for an early morning walk into the CBD. (4:30am) – I knew I was going to see a lot more people who cared less about hiding in the shadows. In fact the first homeless person I saw was laid out under bright lights along side a shop entrance. There was a guy emptying out his truck navigating around his body whilst he appeared to be asleep. I was more observing the few people about, whose gaze was quickly caught up by the image what must of suddenly appeared before their feet, lest some trip – but like I said, this homeless person was not so hard to see; but more an issue with where he was positioned in the street.

I was actually impressed with the layout of gear he had spread around his person. My hiking buddy would of also been intrigued at such a use of small space. My mind then pondered the fact that I was looking for a place to order some food and take back to share with Lisa as it would be sometime before we could order breakfast. Suffice to say, I ended up going back empty handed as I gave my food to a few of the homeless.


I mean not to mention it as I fear such a saviour complex. I really do. In fact – I am so keenly aware of how that effects others having been one to hide in the shadows for many years myself. I just knew that this whole trip with the Royal Commission and then walking the CBD in this capital city as it be … I knew this was very much about the title I entitled two photos back.

I walked around the city blocks a few times with bag and food in hand – eventually I decided like how it was not a good idea to introduce myself to the image I captured last night, that I would just take the food and drink back to my room. Just as I was leaving the last CBD block I came across a young fella who was obviously to me shaking from withdrawals and in a bit of a state. It was is if I just happened upon him and I opened my bad and said in the meekest of ways “Ya want a sandwich buddy?” He did even look at me, but simply manoeuvred for the bag and asked if I had iced tea. So with the sanga, I also pulled out an ice to that seemed to just happen in the same way I changed my mind.

Directly around the corner I almost tripped on the first fella that was laid out like I first described. I gently lent over and strategically placed Lisa's food and drink next to his well laid out gear. I noticed more people and many of them seem to be looking on with intent – unlike before. I was trying to hold back tears as I kept on walking but failed as one or two trailed down my cheek.

It was what it was – I can tell you it was no saviour complex – and whilst it was doing what I can for others, it was as much for me. I was worried about how Lisa might react when I got back, but we instead talked more about what we could do to help the situation as it be. More so regarding how Lisa has been thinking of doing more back where we live with regards to simalar things.


So that's a wrap with this trip – time to check out and catch the plane.

It's been a good journey to be sure.

Adios – until next post.

[Ponder]

It's good to be back at home. I don't think any of us should be as worried as we make out we are in places like these. Now that, that challenge is over, I think I will move onto the next one. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Ponder]

Just like the thread that started this all off with my bro's death - It's now time to put this one to bed: Bottom of Page Pg 69 a:t the following link - Nightmare revealed from there:
http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showth...ck-List/page69

Thx guys. This place has served it's purpose for me and I to it. Just PM me if your interested in keeping in touch. I will get an email. I've got plans to keep moving, however those steps are going to require everything that's left in the tank. I intend to PM a few of you once I know more of where I'll be at.

Take care guys and thanks for your support.

Wishing you guys all the best.

[Dahila]

Please, if you go let me know where to find you, of course..........if you want to stay in touch))